Booche Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 The best review of a Phish show I have ever read, this is a riot............. Phish SHORELINE JULY 9TH 2ne set review We had good seats; 103 level; Page side. The boys opened up with a succint Boogie On wherein Trey sprang up five minutes into the tune and went up to every member of the band and said something with great exuberance which made each of them give him a look of, "Fuck yeah, let's crank it up, you red-headed fuck face!" They immediately shut off Boogie On and segued into an upbeat and raging AC/DC Bag replete with maniacal strobe lighting by The Master of the Dark Skies, Mr. Chris Kuroda. The ship hovered nicely into Piper wherein we all awoke last night to the sound of the storm. They jammed out the signature chord progression and into an ambient free form jam featuring teases of 7 below (which was played the next evening 2nd set). But where, oh where did this take us? Just why in the Larry Hell or Sam Hell are we here? Why do I want to dip my nards in grape Fun Dip and lick my balls until they scab over?? TWIST!!! No fucking way, no fucking way! 'Whoooo! Wouldn't twist around'......oh fuck yea, it would twist around like a titty twisting Conway Twitty tangled up in a game of Twister with the Olsen Twins. Oh, God, I want to bang the Olsen twins, long and hard...... After the chorus and the jam began, it was wholly agreed we were seeing unparalleled musicianship. They were up there smiling and whacking it, long and hard..... Then Gordo took over with the sweet thumps of Mike's Song which took it to the otha level. I say this for two reasons: (1) get the show and tell me otherwise and (2) the stage crew whipped out the smoke machines and left them on, thusly blowing mad smoke for at least five minutes. They never fucking whip out the smoke!! Special O-MotherFucking-Ccasions only, you silly bitches! (Although, I do believe there was a brief smoke the next night in the 2nd set which leads me to believe they may be whipping it out more often this tour. But fuck, THE SMOKE, MAN, THE FUCKING SMOKE! I kept telling my buddy Mikey that, THE SMOKE, MAN, THE FUCKING SMOKE....ahhhhh, yes, the good old days.) OK, the boys steered the ship sweetly into Hydrogen. If you were there and didn't cry during I am Hydrogen, you needs to check yo' self before you wreck yo' self 'cause big deez in yo' mouth is bad for yo' health. Serriously. And rightfully so, they stuck the pig with a clean segue into a monumental Weekapaugh. Why monumental? Only those people who were there will know that there were four distinct cow bellish type dings in this tune that did not come from Fishman. Where did they come from, you ask? Michael Jordan Gordon has a foot bell that he only uses when they are firing on all cylinders. I read an interview with him in Bass Player magazine and he talks about how he has foot percussion devices he only whips out when he feels that they are dropping dirty bombs. Nasty, stanky, dirty bombs on that ass. So there you go. Oh yeah, during the Loving Cup encore this crazy mother behind me was breastfeeding her baby but with both tits out. I had my buddy get a picture of me with my tongue out as I turned around so it looked like I was licking her floppy jalopy. Her crazier, acid-head hippy husband saw it and smacked me on the back of my freakin' noggin, open hand. It felt awesome cause I was totally spun off molly. But I ain't no sucka so I snatched his glow wand off his grubby neck, chewed it until the glow juices dribbled down my face, and told him, "Your baby looks like a retard, you smelly smelly pumpkin belly!!" All in all, it was the best set I've seen in quite some time and I've been to every Phish show that has ever occurred. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PassedOutGuy Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 Special O-MotherFucking-Ccasions only, you silly bitches! If you were there and didn't cry during I am Hydrogen, you needs to check yo' self before you wreck yo' self 'cause big deez in yo' mouth is bad for yo' health. Serriously. But I ain't no sucka so I snatched his glow wand off his grubby neck, chewed it until the glow juices dribbled down my face, and told him, "Your baby looks like a retard, you smelly smelly pumpkin belly!!" All in all, it was the best set I've seen in quite some time and I've been to every Phish show that has ever occurred. That is some seriously funny shit i tell you what... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooly Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 best review ever what a fucking howl quote: I had my buddy get a picture of me with my tongue out as I turned around so it looked like I was licking her floppy jalopy. aaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahhahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaggyBalls Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 where ws that from?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phunky Cauldron Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 quote: I kept telling my buddy Mikey that, THE SMOKE, MAN, THE FUCKING SMOKE quote: But I ain't no sucka so I snatched his glow wand off his grubby neck, chewed it until the glow juices dribbled down my face, and told him, "Your baby looks like a retard, you smelly smelly pumpkin belly!!" quote: where ws that from? ? Isn't it obvious...it's Booche wrote this article and Mikey is Bouche. You crazy bouchards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stapes Posted July 29, 2003 Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 quote: But where, oh where did this take us? Just why in the Larry Hell or Sam Hell are we here? Why do I want to dip my nards in grape Fun Dip and lick my balls until they scab over? ? Priceless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted July 29, 2003 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2003 I dont know where the original source came from, but I found it on the Rhombus. The guy that posted it thought it was the worst review he ever read I dont think scrapple wrote it either, its not his style: "so far tour has been uber dank and downright nasty at times. chilled in the lot with some kind people and slung some gooballs. i think i went into the show and shook my heady dreadies. crapped my patchies after the show and yelled about some cops busting people. overall, some schwilly moments, some heady moments, but mostly dank. custies ran rampant, had to tell them to beat it so I could get down. haven't worn shoes in 3 months, and got 2 more puppies. wicked sick having dogs on tour. the hairest legged ladies, you know, real heady mamas totally dig giving Ganja, Marley and Fish (my puppies) bites off their grilled cheeses and scraps of food that fall out of their armpit hair. " "werd. brah, shoes are for custies. some lame preppie put a scratch in my brand new Range Rover. I was all "hey abercrombie, what the f#*#!" he was all, "chill brah" and i was all "Im not your brah, dawg, go back to DMB tour." he was all..."damn duuuuude" and i was all, "do you have my miracle?" "i used my dad's Amex card to buy some heady bread and oats to munch on on the road trips. then i made some phatty grilled cheeses that i bought with my Platinum Visa and sold them on tour, ya know, cus I have to make it to It. plus which, i'm a vegan cus i love the earth and flowers and birds and shit, and am way too heady of a dude to be less environmentally conscious. " "nugget drank so many sammy smiths he puked on my leather, i was like "damn nug! what are you thinkin brah" he wiped it up with dank dan's dreads and oversized patchies, so it's all good. " Damn beautiful, I tell ya............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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