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"Intelligent" Quotes by "Intelligent" People


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I've heard some of these before, but it's always great to read them again:

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not

live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were

supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live

forever, which is why I would not live forever," -- Miss Alabama in the 1994

Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I

can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all

those flies and death and shit," -- Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your

life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for

federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," -- Winston

Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in

the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the

president," -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed


"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm

just the one to do it," -- A congressional candidate in Texas.

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.

There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were

selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." -- John Wayne

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." -- Philadelphia Phillies manager,

Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in

our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle

" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or

another" -- George Bush, US President

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" --

Lee Iacocca

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the

truth. I assisted in furthering that version," -- Colonel Oliver North, from

his Iran-Contra testimony.

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like

Norman Einstein," -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports


"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of

people." -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton,


"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Al

Gore, VP

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." -- Keppel


"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received

notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is

a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services,

Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go

to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next

morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark S. Fowler,

FCC Chairman

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