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Weir Blinded By Gitch Projectile

(CP) - Bob "Ace" Weir, a founding member of the Grateful Dead, went blind Wednesday night during his performance at Toronto's historic Massey Hall. Treating physician, Dr. Di Late of St Joseph's Emergency Response, found Weir's onset of blindness to be psycho-somatic rather than physical or neurological and Weir is currently being treated with shots of vodka and hummers on his tour bus. "He'll be ok," stated Dr Late to the Press, mainly comprised of a Weir-like young man named "Dr. Hux" and a bored cocker spaniel, "Mr Weir has just gone into what we call 'advanced pantie shock' after being assaulted by the gitch of a Tool. Fortunately, Mr Weir can't remember anything past the last 30 seconds at the best of times, so we reckon he'll be ok by the time he reaches the US border." Dr Late is currently being treated by his fellow physicians after treating Mr Weir. "He offered me his water bottle and now everything's gone digital. Are you going to eat that arm or can I have it?"

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Weir

with files from jambands.ca

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