Kaidy Mae Posted May 13, 2005 Report Share Posted May 13, 2005 Sorry to post a forward, but some of these had us laughing our asses off in the office this morning. The dolphin line is fucking hilarious. What's the craziest thing you've ever heard a kid say?A number of Primary Schools were doing a project on "The Sea." Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the comments that were funny and some that were sad. Here are some of them. The kids were all aged between 5 and 8 years.This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)Whales are animals, not fish. If they don't get air they can drown, like my brother did last summer. (David age 7)Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of it's head. (Billy age 8)My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)My mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish. (Laura age 5)When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my Willy small. (Kevin age 6)When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer holidays, we hid in the sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her boyfriend. It was fun. (Lauren age 7)A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of seamen inside. (Emma age 5)When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of sailors. (Valerie age 6)Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazlo Posted May 13, 2005 Report Share Posted May 13, 2005 When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship and have lots of sailors.So do I little girl, so do I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del Posted May 13, 2005 Report Share Posted May 13, 2005 Whales are animals, not fish. If they don't get air they can drown, like my brother did last summer. (David age 7)That's awful... And hilarious... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneMtn Posted May 13, 2005 Report Share Posted May 13, 2005 I used to work with a woman, who is obviously not a child, but relayed this story one day... On my way in to work this morning, this woman cut me off and nearly caused an accident. I was so angry that I fingered her! She really had our attention for a minute, until we figured out there was actually no "intimate" contact at all, and that this is all she actually did... ...very disappointing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Douglas Posted May 13, 2005 Report Share Posted May 13, 2005 well, that's a start :blush: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Douglas Posted May 13, 2005 Report Share Posted May 13, 2005 sorry...a l'le off track with the kids topic!this is my favorite:On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneMtn Posted May 13, 2005 Report Share Posted May 13, 2005 well, that's a startIt took me a second, Douglas, but I am now "laughing my ass off"; as they say. (Not as painful as it sounds, actually.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaidy Mae Posted May 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 My little cousin, Jack, once said, "I cried so hard I couldn't see my tears." I thought that was so hilarious. She's awesome (yes, Jack is a girl). Crazy fuckin Irish! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Douglas Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 YOU'RE IRISH?? I'm even more excited to meet you now!!! Ai slon! slangthe! (I don't know if that's spelled right...actually, I'm sure it's not right, but hey! wth!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaidy Mae Posted May 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 Hahaha! Sláinte in advance Lynn! And I'll admit, I had to look that up. :blush: Can't spell Irish, but I can sure drink. I can't wait for tomorrow. Should be fun times. Are you in for this karaoke nonsense? I'm not singing, but I'm up for making requests. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Douglas Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 Hahaha! Sláinte in advance Lynn! And I'll admit, I had to look that up. :blush: Can't spell Irish, but I can sure drink. I can't wait for tomorrow. Should be fun times. Are you in for this karaoke nonsense? I'm not singing, but I'm up for making requests. LOL oh dear gawd! we be drinkin' sista! I'll karaoke fo sho! I'm certainly not the greatest singer, but I've got passion baby! yup...let's go! I wanna go to sleep NOW so that tomorrow will arrive faster! kinda list Christmas!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M.O.B.E Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 my 4 year old nephew when randomly asked if he took Visa? replied " nope just cash" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaidy Mae Posted May 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 oh dear gawd! we be drinkin' sista! I'll karaoke fo sho! I'm certainly not the greatest singer, but I've got passion baby! yup...let's go! I wanna go to sleep NOW so that tomorrow will arrive faster! kinda list Christmas!!! Oh mercy! It's 4:10am and Mr. Mouse & I just got back from the Berkeley studios. Whewwwwwww!!! I'm gonna try to go to sleep before 6am Douglas. Mikey's gonna have to drive. LOL Can't wait to party with tomorrow. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now