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my new favorite thing to do on the shitter


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Funny poo story.

I worked in the bush from May to Christmas. 8hrs a day in the forest, you're going to eventually need to crap. Everyone has their own system designed for crapping comfort, keeping tp dry, making sure it doesn't get on your shoes etc.

Me, I do a wall squat against a big tree. Great system until... you sit yourself against a tree that is pitching (sap).

In November, around 11am, I crapped against a cedar tree. When I'd finished, I hoisted my pants and rain gear (it was pouring) only to have my ass scream in protest.

I tried desperately to dance around, reaching for my butt, to figure out what I had dropped into my pants that was sticking into my ass. No luck - I got a handful of cedar pitch.

So, for the rest of the day I worked while hairs were pulled from my ass slowly and seemingly methodically. We didn't have alcohol swabs in the truck, so I had to sit VERY uncomfortably all the way back to our office. At the office, we only had hydrogen peroxide - no help.

Eventually, I got home (after a 45m drive - again sitting very uncomfortably) and took a shower with my razor.

My new nickname - Patches.

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Funny poo story.

I worked in the bush from May to Christmas. 8hrs a day in the forest, you're going to eventually need to crap. Everyone has their own system designed for crapping comfort, keeping tp dry, making sure it doesn't get on your shoes etc.

Me, I do a wall squat against a big tree. Great system until... you sit yourself against a tree that is pitching (sap).

This brings a whole new twist to the "pitching" vs. "catching" symbiosis...

Aloha,

Brad

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Me, I do a wall squat against a big tree. Great system until... you sit yourself against a tree that is pitching (sap).

I claim "The Pitching Saps" as a band name. Or maybe "The Pitching (Saps)"; bands having punctuation in their names are "in" these days...

Aloha,

Brad

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