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it's pretty obvious that today is ...


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You want me to choose between celebrating an irrational number, and a rational sex act with meat that has a predictable and enjoyable conclusion? How will I ever decide?

Well, you could have sex with meat*, then just have some pie.



* I assume that means having sex first, then eating some meat, rather than engaging in a sex act with a piece of meat, but whatever floats your boat.

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Yeah I guess "sex act with meat" needed a bit more explanation. When I celebrate Steak and a BJ day what I do is buy a large top round, pound it flat with a mallet, wrap it around my john henry and fellate myself. Someone told me that was how the holiday is celebrated. You can also celebrate it with a loved one in which case you ask them to wrap the steak around your Don Johnson, and give you a helpful push from behind if you're having trouble reaching and/or you're equipment falls short of the usual sizes

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