Gardening thread du jour

[Davey Boy 2.0]

'TV gardener David Domoney has found a way to stop flowers from drooping - by feeding them Viagra. The horticultural expert says chemicals in the sex drug make cut flowers stand on end for longer. He claims plants fed with water and crushed tablets stay upright for a week longer than those simply kept in water. The host of Garden ER on Channel 5, said: 'You only need a tiny amount of Viagra to stiffen things up nicely. 'Just 1mg of Viagra - there are 50mg in a single Viagra tablet - dissolved into water with your plants will make them last a week long. Viagra contains nitric oxide, which slows down the dying process in plants. The same chemical relaxes the muscles in a man's penis, allowing the blood rush which is how Viagra perks things up.

"Soluble aspirin works in the same way, too. Put one tablet into some wilting flowers and the effervescence will prolong their life." He said scientists were working on a version of Viagra for plants. 'Our genetics are compatible to those of plants in many ways,' he added. Former This Morning gardening expert Domoney also reckons a shot of vodka will stop the water in a vase going green, beer makes a great slug trap, tea will revitalise azaleas and Deep Heat sprayed on a tea bag is a harmless repellant to keep out cats' - Metro

[c-towns]

[rubberdinghy]

Holy shit...the one where that guy is in the car and the cat jumps on the hood.

Fukeneh

[edger]

You know you've held it in long enough when no smoke comes out when you exhale. Yeesh.