Patchoulia

I dunno. Maybe they're in love!

Some people never learn... Unstable? S.C. man on probation for horse sex has sex with same horse again. He's a repeat sex offender - who should be registered with the Humane Society. A South Carolina man was busted for having sex with a horse, while on probation for having sex with the same horse. Rodell Vereen, 50, was arrested Monday night in the throes of bestiality by the filly's shotgun-toting owner, who also has video surveillance of the perverse act. "When they arrested him before I thought that was the end of it," said Barbara Kenley, who caught Vereen in the middle of his romp in the hay with her 21-year-old horse, Sugar. Vereen was charged with buggery and tresspassing, and was held on $10,000 bail. "Hopefully he won't get out," said Kenley, owner of the Lazy B Stables in Conway, S.C. "My goal is to get him away from me and my property." Vereen was on probation for a buggery conviction stemming from a November 2007 assault on Sugar, a crime that prompted Kenley to wire her stables with surveillance cameras. Kenley said cameras filmed Vereen having sex with her horse on July 19, but when she showed footage to the cops they told her they couldn't identify the suspect. She suspected Vereen would not be able to stay away from her horse, so she was ready when he snuck into her barn Monday. "I wanted to catch him firsthand," she said. "It was just a matter of time before I caught him." When Kenley pointed a shotgun at Vereen, he claimed to be looking for a bathroom. "I told him he was full of crap," Kenley said. "He apologized and said he didn't mean to hurt me."

Thanks for the new sig.

Dude - it's been there for weeks (or months) - I have no idea how to gauge when it occurred. I'm saving the cleaning for the weekend...will be trying the WD40 suggestion. Then again, as TG mentioned, we're being evicted (basically), so I might just put a doily on it. I think "put a doily on it" is going to be my answer for everything, from now on.

You're welcome!

Honestly, if there were a way to harness the power of his ass for good instead of oh-so-deadly evil, don't you think I would have done that years ago? I'm a resourceful woman, but still haven't been able to climb that methane-soaked mountain.

White vinegar is also good in my world famous 4-bean salad. And it is good for cleaning - particularly windows - but the dreaded molasses is impervious to white vinegar's pungent charms.

Why has there been no mention of doilies in this thread?

That's interesting, Todd...when I was growing up in Dryden, during my teenage years, a declaration was put forth at a party/camping night: NO ONE LEAVES HERE TIL THEIR PEE RUNS CLEAR!!! Actually, that's kind of a nonsequitor, vis a vis this thread, though it is on topic.

I have no idea what this means, nor do I want to. Take your magical urine commentary elsewhere. Thanks very much.

Bork: verb To damage or disable something while performing your impression of The Swedish Chef.

You two are NOT allowed to have ANY MORE SLEEPOVERS when I'm not home!!!

Wait a second - you had mushrooms and you didn't share with me?

So your urine posseses extraordinary powers? You should start selling it. Maybe you can get the "you're going to love my nuts" guy to market it for you... "Booche's urine. Spray it, drizzle it, slosh it on - no stain is too great for BOOCHE'S URINE! This piss is gold, on more than one level."

Your last point is well-taken. Fuck it.

Sometime last year, I'm not sure when, a container of molasses, living in a basket on top of my fridge, began to leak. I'm not sure of the circumstances that preceded this unnatural kitchen disaster, only the result: a Molasses Slick on the floor behind the fridge. Molasses, as I'm sure you're aware, is a dangerous, sometimes deadly, substance, characterized by its extreme stickiness. One need look no further than "Boston's Great Molasses Flood of 1919" to understand the destructive power of molasses. In my case, I just need to clean it up. But I'm having a really hard time. Scrubbing utensils (i.e. rag or sponge or mop) and cleaning products seem to be no match for the immovable sugary river mocking me from behind my fridge. Has anyone else ever experienced a molassestastrophe? Any tips?

Has anyone else ever read Neil & Me? I read it about 10 years ago and loved it...really interesting perspective on Mr. Young (and Mr. Young Sr., too)

Free Jays tickets! email me julia.mcallister@rci.rogers.com Tickets must be picked up at One Mount Pleasant before 6 pm.

And where do the employees go when they have to pee?

BRUNCH POUTINE!!! GENIUS! http://www.nowtoronto.com/food/restaurants/guides/brunch/2010/venue.cfm?v=5630 Poutini’s House of Poutine 1112 Queen W, at Beaconsfield. poutini.com. Rating: NNNN The best poutinerie in town – take that, Smoke’s! – ups the stakes with the addition of Sunday-only brunch poutine to its cholesterol-lovin’ card. Best: Poutine Florentine, hand-cut russet fries twice-cooked in trans-fat-free vegetable oil and lightly dusted in sea salt, layered with sautéed spinach, shallots and garlic, crumbled bacon, two poached eggs, super-squeaky cheese curds and creamy béchamel sauce; Maple Poutigly, your regular poutine with additional bacon and maple syrup. Sunday 11 am to 9 pm. Unlicensed. Cash only. $ One step at door, no washrooms.

I loved Bloom County.

On the story site, there's an illuminating video of this nutbar being dragged in to court...

Disgusting... http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/oh_not_so_Xyy6vktga2njoJwRYJwC1O Mow-down LI teen has a sick way of looking at bright side of death By KIERAN CROWLEY, LORENA MONGELLI and SELIM ALGAR She mowed down a helpless, elderly woman while driving a van high on drugs, but a twisted Long Island teen still claimed to see a bright side to the horrific crash. "The thing that made me not feel so bad was, she was old," hellcat Kayla Gerdes, 18, told investigators after she was busted for killing 69-year-old Rebecca Twine Wright as the retired doctor trimmed her lawn Tuesday, a source told The Post. Gerdes, of Freeport, claimed to once be a model. And she was so self-absorbed in the hours after the wreck that she told cops interviewing her she wants "to see a newspaper of the news, to see what I look like." Just moments after the crash on the tree-lined Hempstead block, the teen showed more concern about being late for a court date than she did for the woman whose broken body was crumpled on the ground, according to court documents. Gerdes, who cops said was high on the powerful painkiller OxyContin, stepped from the wrecked vehicle and demanded that that a passer-by help her get to the courthouse. "I'm late for court. You have to take me to court!" she exclaimed, according to a criminal complaint. She was due to appear for allegedly stealing her mom's jewelry, even though she was driving in the opposite direction of the Nassau County courthouse in Mineola. Her passenger and boss, Brian Steele Jr. -- who appeared to be oblivious to the carnage -- bellowed at her that she wrecked his car two weeks ago and lamented that "he has to pay for this now." He has not been charged. Gerdes changed her tune as she was hauled off to her arraignment yesterday, uncontrollably wailing to the cameras about the slain gardening enthusiast and mother of two. "I didn't mean to do it . . . I'm so sorry, it was a mistake!" she screamed. "The car went out of control and I was pressing the brake and it wouldn't go!" During her outburst yesterday, Gerdes also admitted to popping pills. "I was on prescription drugs. Leave me alone!" she said, sobbing, "I'm sorry" over and over. Gerdes' lawyer, John R. Lewis, said her statements to police about Wright didn't paint the whole picture of how upset his client was after the wreck, which left a gaping hole in the victim's home. "She started crying, 'Oh, my God, is she a mother?' " he said. Gerdes was held in lieu of $200,000 bond on manslaughter charges. The van she was driving belongs to a roofing company she worked for. Her boss, Steele, was driving at first, but Gerdes demanded to take the wheel because he wasn't going fast enough, police said. "We believe they switched because she was not satisfied with the way he was driving . . . [steele] wasn't getting to court quickly enough," said Detective Sgt. John DeMartinis. According to the criminal complaint, Gerdes looked unsteady on her feet and showed signs of impairment at the scene of the crash. She seemed to be ranting wildly after the wreck and was heard yelling that the "wheel came off," according to documents. Steele's father said the teen worked as a "bookkeeper" at his son's roofing firm, even though her pals said she had not yet graduated from Freeport HS. Steele's father, Brian Steele Sr., said his son created a job for Gerdes because they were dating. "Because he wanted to [sleep with] her, he offered her a job," the elder Steele said. Jamie Lee, 19, a friend of Gerdes, said the "whole situation" surrounding the $20-an-hour job "was weird." The younger Steele could not be reached for comment. Prosecutors said Gerdes was arrested in February on drug charges in Florida. Sources said she had two open drug cases in Nassau County. Her lawyer, Lewis, said that the night before the crash, she was arrested for shoplifting. Lewis said that although she was heading in the wrong direction for court, she was going to pick up her mother so they could attend the hearing together. At one point, she gave her mom a call to say she was on the way. Lewis said that Steele Jr. got on the phone and said: "Don't worry about it. I won't let her drive." After the hearing, Lewis said that Gerdes had been in rehab and was trying to fight her drug addiction. "I do know she was under the care of a doctor and she did have prescriptions," he said. Police, however, could find no evidence of a prescription for OxyContin. Her mom, Tara, said: "I'm very sorry for [Wright's] family after this terrible tragedy." Neighbors at of the waterfront home where Gerdes lives with her mother and the mom's boyfriend said she was known for knocking on people's doors to bum cigarettes and asking to borrow neighbors' cars. "You could just see it on her face that she had big problems," a neighbor said. "Her mother has tried to put her into rehab, but it doesn't work." Steele Sr. said that he asked his son why he would want the troubled girl in his life. Junior said that after the wreck, Gerdes "showed no remorse." "I asked my son, 'Didn't she even try to stop?' He said, 'She's cold as ice,' " Steele Sr. said. After the hearing, Wright's son, Chauncey Twine, called on the 18-year-old to confess. He also questioned why Steele let her drive. "I know the girl was intoxicated, but I still don't understand how a guy could give his keys to someone who is intoxicated to drive his car," he said. "It seems to me he should have some culpability." Twine remembered his mom as "really the kindest person you'll ever meet." She was an intellectual who held a Ph.D. in zoology in addition to her medical degree. "It's just a total shock," Twine said. "I can't even put words to the pain that my family is going through." He also scoffed at Gerdes' plea for forgiveness. "To say you're sorry? Words are cheap," he said. "If you're truly sorry for what you did, then admit to your guilt."

Solution to your #2 problem....

Patchoulia has been my alter-ego for well over a decade. It originated one day when I was hanging out with Eric, from Caution Jam (back in the days when I was more stereohippycal and wore patchouli) and he said, "Julia. Patchouli. Patchoulia!" I loved it and it stuck and has been my online handle ever since. However, my first persona on this board was Stoned Phillips. I have no idea how I came up with that or why I didn't go with Patchoulia. Sometimes I do hear Stone Phillips, the venerable, strong-jawed newsman, lulling me to sleep. I think he might be one of my many, competing personalities. Thank you & good night. I'm Stoned Phillips.