I feel like.....

[CatPhish]

I have a belly the size of a moose and a fetus that kicks like a mule whenever she damned well feels like it. Every time I try to move I either pinch a nerve or somehow encourage said baby to hoof me somewhere sensitive. Sleep is a distant memory.

yup

I need to pee every five minutes. Desperately.

yup

It's snowing, but I don't have a coat that closes over my belly.

yup

I think you may have forgot

-a backache like getting run over by a truck

-feeling like I'm going to topple over forward

-it takes at least 3 tries to roll off the couch

-needing 6 pillows to feel the least bit of comfort

[arcane]

Yup, yup, yup and yup!

Lying on the bed, the phone rings, and suddenly I remember the significance of the word "turtle" ... I turn into a chibi when that happens, arms and legs flailing around ...

BTW, I have a small wedge-shaped pillow ($15, Toys'R'Us) that I jam under my belly. I find it works better than a regular pillow.

[arcane]

There are hiccups in my tummy.

[Dr_Evil_Mouse]

Please don't let this turn into a Christian bashing....there are many types....I was just pointing out a certain type that confuse me.

Thanks, Deeps - there seems to be a lot of whinging on people's minds today!

[rant]There are all sorts of great Christians out there; they just tend rarely, if ever, to identify themselves as such (it's the others that are the problem).

That bit about marriage that you heard? The litmus test is to ask if they can frame it without the concept of obedience ever entering into it. Most of the time they find this impossible. Those sorts of folks predicate all human (and other) contact on hierarchical relationship, which means, among other things, that somebody's always being shat upon, and in their world, that is perfectly natural and nothing to be questioned. It's all part of a general scheme of self-effacement they have that makes it all possible.

The idea of letting life proceed by its own design is utterly foreign to them. If it can't be manipulated, controlled, subjugated, or potentially destroyed, then it doesn't figure into thought. These folks channel that mode of thinking into a systematic metaphysics and call it "religion" so that nobody can gainsay them. Don't let them get away with it. Metaphysics is bankrupt.

They'll strip you of the richest experiences life has to offer and then leave you wondering what you missed out on when it's too late.

[/rant]

Phew.

On a completely different note, there is absolutely nothing like new baby smell.

And I won't even make a crack about collecting vernix for Lazlo's pantry.

[Paan]

Hmm maybe it's Milli Vanilli.

Blame it on the rain.

[arcane]

Don't like gay marriage? Don't have one.

Eww ... vernix for the pantry ... ewww ... cheese jell-o ...

[arcane]

CatPhish: HORSEPILL VITAMINS!!

[\/\/illy]

Anything you all would like me to add?

Yes.

You've got a fantastic fiance, a great band, lots of interesting friends, and you're a wonderful guy to boot. (Not in the ass.)

If you shave the squirrel, you'll need to wrap it with some 60-grit sandpaper in order to hold onto it.

[SteveThe Owl]

Wow, man. I have conversations like this everyday.

I'm not going to play the my-pain-is-worse-than-your-pain game. It probably isn't -- it might be.

Now, let me finish the topic line:

... a beer! Good night, everybody!

[\/\/illy]

I'm not going to play the my-pain-is-worse-than-your-pain game. It probably isn't -- it might be.

It would be if a llama was standing on your testicles.

[SteveThe Owl]

The pain would be... exquisite.