Deeps Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 I want to punch people square in the ass.I am writing this for catharsis, procrastination, and your entertainment.Normally kind Deeps finds himself in an ass punching mood. Maybe it's the no mind soccer Mom chatter around the office. Ohhh he's this old ohhh really that's awesome, Survivor blah and apprentice bleck and cackle cackle cackle.Maybe it's that the office fails miserably at achieving even a nominal sense of togetherness, while at the same time having the "A better place for you" coroporate slogan. Yeah better if youdon't mind being a fucking droan.Maybe it's the dipshit waitress at the restaurant I go to everyday only actually having a genuine interaction with me because her boyfriend has a gig that she wants me to attend. Maybe it's the trying to get a hold of bar owners to work out some logistics and then feeling like I'm inconveniencing them because I want fucking monitors for the horn players that I'd like to play with us on Friday.Hmm maybe it's Milli Vanilli.Sometimes I think it's that I spend too much time worrying about everyone but myself and then when I do get a chance for 12 seconds of independant breath I'm so accustomed to being around people that all I do for 11 of those seconds is try to figure out who will be telling me that they are neglected by my "selfishness".Maybe it's that I've read enough news today that I realize that the whole things out of fucking control and the majority of the populous cant discern this so they will forever be voting based on their agreement or disagreement pertaining to the red herring issue of the day.Maybe it's that I went into settle up a donation to a radio station and the DJ at the time was borderline unintelligible due to the accent that apathy and being the coolest of the tranceo-hip-hopsters places on the english language.Maybe I'm just a bitch.Maybe adult life gives a person 2 options 1 being accepting a certain level of persistent politicing your way through the day or 2. drop out and write everybody off. Bleak ass.Maybe it's that a guy felt the need to tell me that a driving decision I had made was an asshole move and that I should learn to drive and then immediately after this I take shit from the sound guy's boss who I booked 1.5 months ago stating that she's not happy with him...I can't wait to twist knobs and play bass simultaneously as the industry sloth pace and disorginization tear into my enjoyment.I'm going to take my pants off and write this rant on my naked ass cheeks and see if I can make some friends that I can tell to piss off.Anything you all would like me to add? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cully Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 Zeppelin Rules!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phunk_Nugget Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 Deeps, I love you man. You always seem to voice what we all have problems with. You are in a corporate world, and you've been havin' issues with this since you entered it. Get out of it man! And the music stuff...it is such a bitch dealing with people who only have their agenda in mind. That is the nature of the beast. So, I ask you this. Would you rather be un-employed and have to deal with the trials and tribulations of this? Would you like to put down your instrument, only to find another outlet? You are a bass player..you need to do this fulltime. EI for all of us...woohoo!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneMtn Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.~ W. C. Fields Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeps Posted November 17, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 Maybe it's that I was listening to this preacher talking on how when you enter a marriage there is no other way to do it than to accept that the other person is different and that you need to make sure that when you argue you choose the right "tone, Turf, and Time" and I'm all like ....this guy's absolutely right and then ....He peel's into this jive about how the only way to have peace with or without a relationship is to have Jesus and Jesus alone. How the blood spilled on the cross is for all of us and we need to be saved. Maybe it's that religious people are throwing these great ideas around that the bible says and really reaching people and then scaring the piss out of them with l'aissez faire statements about bloody crosses and other madness between every other syllable.SYMBOLISM FOO! It's not literal so stop telling the congregation it is. Am I the only on e that sees this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 Am I the only on e that sees this?When I'm on e I see colours... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeps Posted November 17, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 I'm seven and half months pregnant. I have a belly the size of a moose and a fetus that kicks like a mule whenever she damned well feels like it. Every time I try to move I either pinch a nerve or somehow encourage said baby to hoof me somewhere sensitive. Sleep is a distant memory. A certain someone else needs an attitude adjustment with a two by four.I waddle. I bump into things. I'm constantly hungry but I have a stomach the size of walnut right now, thanks to baby pushing up. I need to pee every five minutes. Desperately.It's snowing, but I don't have a coat that closes over my belly.If you don't like the conversation at the office, just fart. For everything else, don't fart, take a deep breath. Which, incidentally, I can't do right now, either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phunk_Nugget Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 I actually read something recently about studies done on depression. It was found that most people that suffer from depression (christians anyway) had this problem from a deep rooted feeling of sin. It seems that once someone is brought in to the Christian faith, they are reminded constantly of their sins, and their need to be forgiven. I have to say, being that I was Catholic (eeek) for a number of years (not any more) this makes total sense. Just think of the words in the Our Father parayer. Can you believe that laws are based on this shit in some countires...Imagine no religion.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 Maybe I'm just a bitch.Maybe adult life gives a person 2 options 1 being accepting a certain level of persistent politicing your way through the day or 2. drop out and write everybody off. Bleak ass. Deeps, you are one bad fashion purchase away from needing a case of Midol (Avoid turquoise jumpsuits and red boots, hmm?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deranger Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 Christians need to back the fuck up and relax. anyone who reads something someone said was told to them by god and follows it to the letter (and believes it totally and unquestioningly) is full of shit.Am I the only one who thinks its nuts to follow the words of someone who claims to have been told these specific things by God? Not that there aren't good moral guidlines in the bible, (love etc) but I mean,... c'mon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bONES Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 i feel like...a stranger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeps Posted November 17, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 I'm seven and half months pregnant. I have a belly the size of a moose and a fetus that kicks like a mule whenever she damned well feels like it. Every time I try to move I either pinch a nerve or somehow encourage said baby to hoof me somewhere sensitive. Sleep is a distant memory. A certain someone else needs an attitude adjustment with a two by four.I waddle. I bump into things. I'm constantly hungry but I have a stomach the size of walnut right now, thanks to baby pushing up. I need to pee every five minutes. Desperately.It's snowing, but I don't have a coat that closes over my belly.If you don't like the conversation at the office, just fart. For everything else, don't fart, take a deep breath. Which, incidentally, I can't do right now, either.Not sure I can fit all of that on my ass Arcane, but I'll try.Maybe I'll have thematic ass cheeks. Man-dol?Please don't let this turn into a Christian bashing....there are many types....I was just pointing out a certain type that confuse me.Interesting Ty...see if you can dig that up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 I feel the same way about astrophysics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 Deeps - what you need to do is lose all faith in everything and everyone and just not care anymore. Maybe stop at a bar on the way home. Invent an alternate happyland where no one can hurt you. And then go for a nice drive. It's kept my own nervous breakdown simultaneously at bay and at hand for ten years now! Happy Easter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggest Fan Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 When I tell the children that I work with that I really do not like adults and that is why I love my job, they never really catch on. In 10-15 years some of them will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 Therapy is expensive, popping bubbles is cheap:http://www.virtualbubblewrap.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ollie Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 I resemble that rant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Douglas Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 My favourite thing to do when I'm pissed right off is to pretend that everything is so wonderfully perfect! People back away, mid-sentence, in fear of my smile infecting them. If they don't back away quickly enough, I fart. Loud. And smelly. And then say, "oooh! Do you smell that? It's like roooooses!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradm Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 Annie laid her head down in the roooooses.She had ribbons, ribbons, ribbons, in her long brown hair.I don’t know, maybe it was the roooooses,All I know I could not leave her there.I don’t know, it must have been the roooooses,The roooooses or the ribbons in her long brown hair.I don’t know, maybe it was the roooooses,All I know I could not leave her there.Aloha,Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 Farting is the one thing I do well right now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazlo Posted November 18, 2005 Report Share Posted November 18, 2005 My farts piss on your farts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Douglas Posted November 18, 2005 Report Share Posted November 18, 2005 and just when I thought they couldn't smell any worse... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeps Posted November 18, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2005 Update .. the soundman did bail...[color:purple]I'm surprised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onthejourney Posted November 18, 2005 Report Share Posted November 18, 2005 ...like chicken tonight, like chicken tonite! kay, didn't even read anything...it just goes with the topic title Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now