French poetry translation (Eluard)

[zero]

I need someone with a good eye for the sound and sense of french poetry translation to take a crack at this line for an article. It's from Paul Eluard's La victoire de Guernica.

Hommes réels pour qui le désespoir

Alimente le feu dévorant de l'espoir

Ouvrons ensemble le dernier bourgeon de l'avenir

[adambrot]

here's my take, which is probably more literal than in prosaic:

Real men, for whom the lost hopes

Fuel the fires that devour hope

Together, let's open the last bud of the future

or something like that

cheers

adambrot

[zero]

Real men, for whom the lost hopes

Fuel the fires that devour hope

Together, let's open the last bud of the future

Thanks for that. That's a pretty verbatim translation, I was curious to see how someone else would take a crack at it. I'd probably go with:

Real men having lost all hope

Feed hope's devouring fire

Opening together the future's last bud

It's a question of the conscious choice of the translator to convey the sonority and the sense of the poet's intention. I had a well regarded translator of french poetry for a prof and he took some serious licenses to convey sonority.

[Davey Boy 2.0]

My take:

Real men are porky and hopeless

and have fiery ailments but hope

to open together the last portion of tomorrow's

beef bourginon

[allison]

As far as I remember from an art history class(the obvious tie to Picasso) I think all the above translations are a bit off.

I think( in the interests of the intent of the stanza)in English it should read more like;

Real men for whom despair

Fuels hope's devouring fire...blah blah blah.

That being said my French is abysmal and my remembrance of art history class is drug addled.

[adambrot]

No, the original French implies that the fire that devours hope is fueled (for real men) by a lack of hope. The last sentence is the optimistic one, saying let's get together and open the future's last remaining bud.

cheers

adambrot

[zero]

No, the original French implies that the fire that devours hope is fueled (for real men) by a lack of hope.

Explain that point better? I'm interested in specifically what in the tense and phrasing your getting at.

[phorbesie]

desespoir = despair

[AD]

My take:

Real men are porky and hopeless

and have fiery ailments but hope

to open together the last portion of tomorrow's

beef bourginon

i just spit out water from laughing.

[adambrot]

Yes, despair is a more succinct translation however, while redundant, I was going for a direct literal translation of the repetitious play on the 'hope' word (espoir).

Real men, for whom despair (the lost hopes)

Fuel(s) the fires that devour hope

Together, let's open the last bud of the future

cheers

adambrot