Jump to content
Jambands.ca

bokonon

Members
  • Posts

    3,839
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by bokonon

  1. A Newfie moves to Ontario and gets a job in construction. His boss sends him to the lumber store for forty two by fours. The store employee asks him how long he needs his two by fours. The Newfie replies "Quite a while, we're building a house".

    Little Johnny is going on a fishing trip with Grandpa. They get up early, pack the boat with supplies and head out in to the lake. They cast their lines in the water to wait for bites. After a while Grandpa opens the cooler, grabs a beer and cracks it open.

    Little Johnny says "Grandpa, can I have some of your beer?"

    Grandpa replies "Well, Johnny, can your dick touch your ass?"

    Little Johnny answers no.

    Grandpa says "Well, then you're too young for beer."

    A little while later after boredom sets in Grandpa starts reading a Playboy and Johnny asks to look at it too.

    Grandpa says again "Well Johnny, can your dickie touch your ass?"

    Again Johnny replies no and Grandpa says he is too young.

    An hour or so later hunger is setting in so Johnny reaches in to his pocket and pulls out a bag of cookies.

    Grandpa says "Hey Johnny, share some of those cookies with me"

    Johnny says "Well, Grandpa, can your dickie touch your ass?"

    Grandpa says yes.

    Johnny replies "Good, then go fuck yourself, Grandma made these cookies for me!"

  2. moist

    slacks

    panties

    Bokonon?

    hahahaha! I was thinking the same thing.

    Except I prefer the following:

    trouser snake

    junk

    bumping uglies

    and the following too, but they do not fit in to the preceeding theme (not for me anyway)

    shits and giggles

    ass over teakettle

    tighter than a witche's cunt doing a nosedive (i heard that one from my grandmother!)

    barrel of monkeys

    crapsicles

  3. The Magnum pictures are always funny. It's odd how the ideals of attractiveness change over short periods of time. Look how hairy Magnum is and compare that to the shaved-chest boys that are the standard of hot now. Personally, i like a fine balance. Guys are hairy because of testosterone and to me hair is a sign of verility. I kinda like hairy, but don't like clogged drains, so show me a guy with some hair but not a yeti.

  4. I made a mixed tape for a boyfriend in highschool that was taped over an album. I had a few seconds left at the end and spliced in one lyric from the original album, it faded in with a little guitar...the lyrics "thinking of you" were heard and then it faded out. That took some serious effort but he loved it. He didn't like that album which is why I taped over it, but he thought that one little part that came through was cool. Ah, the good old days!

  5. I'm glad to hear your friend woke up and is cognizant. Will he be able to get help for his addictions? How about legal help?

    It's very upsetting about his medical bills. But I always get frustrated because people think that in Canada this would all be paid for, which isn't true. There are a lot of medical expenses that aren't covered. For example, I know a man that is taking pills for chemo right now and it costs him $700 per month!! You have to be pretty well off to afford an extra $700 a month, especially if your work schedule is seriously affected by cancer.

    Karin, it's awesome that you are sticking by your friend and helping him to pick up the pieces of his life. That takes a very strong person and there aren't many like you around.

    Cheers to you!

  6. P.S. I just sold another Ford because they fuckin' rock!! '03 F150 FX4 in black, hothothothothothothothoth ot!!

    happy to hear people are still buying fords

    had one ford ltd caused me many problems now its only honda , ah i think they are all the same they put them together too fast

    but i am thinking of a grand prix

    Grand Prixs aren't Ford. They're Pontiac.

×
×
  • Create New...