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bokonon

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Everything posted by bokonon

  1. You really heard about my tacos? I make kickass tofu tacos with fresh guacamole and salsa. But who told you about them? I'm a legend in my own time.
  2. Mikado? Where is this Mikado? Do they have lots of veggie stuff? Delivery?
  3. Wanda and I are in! Who else is coming?
  4. This week has officially sucked in the literary world. Two of my favourite authors died. What an unbelievable loss has we are enduring in North American culture this week.
  5. Oh yeah, and there's this little place called Friends deli near Yonge and Davisville that has the best samosas I've ever had, I get them every day for lunch at work. Get the big veggie samosa. It's filled with potatos and veggies that are fresh cooked in a curry and cinnamon spice mix. Good pastry too.
  6. I think I've found the best sushi in Toronto, at Sushi on Bloor. It was incredibly fresh, tasty and nicely rolled. They have a metric assload of vegetarian options and they deliver too. With generous amounts of soy sauce and wassabi, they have effectively greased my palms for some free promotion. I don't know about Mexican, but I have had a ridiculous amount of sushi and felafel since I moved here. The best felafel is still that place in Kensingtion Market beside Roach-a-Rama. Get it extra spicy, if you can handle it.
  7. That helps a ton! Thank-you all very much. I love this forum, it totally follows the old adage of ask and you shall receive.
  8. You've made me laugh. Hillarious stuff. Me too. I'm still on his Myspace list.
  9. Is there a proper format for manuscripts other than double spaced with one inch margins? Are there any other guidelines I have to follow? Is it better to try to get an agent or go it alone? When an agent or publisher says "no manuscripts, inquiries only", what exactly do I send? I was thinking of getting a copy of the Writer's Market. Is this actually a useful tool with accurate information?
  10. I totally agree. Mel Brown is one of the best shows I've seen so far, anywhere. He's really nice too. Is his wife singing with him? She's great.
  11. The plane in my pants is in reference to a forward I got from Wanda. Here's the whole thing: - - - - AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. February 6, 2007 Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core™ or Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing? As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period." Are you fucking kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness—actual smiling, laughing happiness—is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us? Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always. Best, Wendi Aarons Austin, TX
  12. I have a couple book ideas and am looking for advice not on writing, but on handling the publishing industry. Should I try to get an agent or should I go solo? What general advice would you have?
  13. No it wasn't. You call me Alexis all the time. It's because you are too self-absorbed to listen to anyone.
  14. Totally, Allison you are an asset to the board undoubtably and I'm sure the world at large. Thanks for spending some time on the board and I hope to see you at shows. So the big question would be, have you been to CTMF and will you be going this year?
  15. Dude, my name is not Alexis. And really, you should know that.
  16. I think everyone should come to the Liquid Lounge in Brantford tonight. and remember, Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
  17. Live by the foma that make you glad. P.S. I love this granfalloon.
  18. I just didn't like his attack on lawyers in general. It's assinine to say that anyone doesn't deserve to be defended. But thanks for the heads up. And thanks for using little words. I still think that using the word barrister is arcane in this context though, as most people on this board do not have that intimate experience with the legal profession.
  19. First off, no matter how foul or corrupt a person is they are entitled to a fair trial. To have a fair trial means you need a lawyer. To defend a foul and corrupt person does not mean that you have to believe or plead that they were innocent, you must simply uphold the law so that they get fair treatment in the courts, in short to make sure justice is served. Your juvenile understanding of this concept combined with your inability to form a coherent argument clearly illustrate that you would not have made a good lawyer. The fact that you were pretentious and ignorant enough to use the term barrister is quite comical. Barristers rarely have direct contact with their clients, whom tend to reside in England and Wales since we do not have a split profession legal system here. We have lawyers, not barristers and solicitors. Why don't you write for clarity and meaning instead of clouding your weak arguments with arcane diction?
  20. Yeah, I have some fuzzy memories of Luke ripping on Diesel Dog, no? This sounds like a good show, I wonder if I can make it a perfect day with some Friday 13th Dover action and a Doug Feaver/Diesel Dog show combo day. Hey, Band_Whore, you going?
  21. Nellie is great. But I should warn you, a Brantford minimum is a whole fuck of a lot.....pardon the pun.
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