Kaidy Mae

My grandfather used to be a pro speed skater and played hockey for Detroit back when "you had to buy your own jersey". He was also Irish and drank a lot, so he may have been making it up. Just kidding. My Mom has his medals in the bar. Jack ruled!

1) Learn to play piano well

Whoa Babsy, we have the same #1...and typed it at the same time. Cool!

-publish a book

Velvet, click here to get a jump start on that.

Man, this is a tough question. And while nothing tops Sharon's #2, I'll give it a go...

1. Learn to play piano (really kickass, like 'ersh kind of kickass).

2. Live in South America with Lacey (2006 wooohooo).

3. Build my log cabin.

4. Birth some youngins.

5. Finish my dang website.

There are a lot of crazy places I'd like to go and exotic people I'd like to sleep with, but I'm keeping mine realistic.

[color:purple]Brantford.

I've got an uncle named Paul Newman...but he's not the gazillionaire Paul Newman.

Hahaha. I was, and I wasn't even there!

I'm throwing on Half Shark Alligator Half Man right now.

Don't worry Carrie. Team Scully is well stocked with paints and fence painting aids. The pictures don't really do it justice. That fence is HUGE!

this album?

Anyone heard it? Any good?

Dear Birdy:

My sister puts soap in her brushes (when she's not using them) so they'll keep their shape.

Is she crazy?

Sincerely,

KM

my neighbour Kelly and I wrote our names in fresh asphalt right in front of our houses. I wonder if anyone would've figured out who did it?

Hahaha! That reminds me of when I was a kid and I wanted to vandalize and, of course, not get in trouble for it. I wrote my little sister's name all over the basement floor in my mother's nailpolish. For a long time I was stumped as to how my Mom figured out it was me.

My sister was 3. LOL

Yet another time where Kaidy ended up having her mouth washed out with soap.

She thought he'd call back. I was hoping he would

If you do see his number come up on your call display, answer it with a "Hello, is Jenny there?"

having them come home unexpectedly early

That is a dirty trick for parents to play. That happened to Brinapple and I after a wild night of intoxicants and heavy metal. I hadn't slept, folks show up at 11am...time to go to Mom's bday party. Eek!

They never got mad, just disappointed, which is far worse.

Oh, that's so true. My Mom used to avoid me and mope in her room when I had done something wrong. My little sis and I used to fight and when it was the worst we would hear her cry sometimes. I tell ya, it was like someone taking a bite out of your heart. I think that's when I stopped being such a selfish brat (or at least tried to stop).

By far I got in the most trouble for my infamous disappearing acts. From about 15-17 I would forget to call home, forget to come home, etc. It wasn't to be malicious; I just got to having fun and forgot. Well, one day (when I was about 16) I went to a friend's boyfriend's house after school. We skipped fourth period and were enjoying some delicious vodka. All was well. People continued to drop by throughout the day and into the night. By about 9 o'clock the house was raging. I didn't want to leave. I left a message earlier at my house that I wouldn't be home on the schoolbus and that I was getting a ride home around "dinner time". None of my other friends knew where I was and I (obviously) didn't call home to update my folks on my vodka fueled good times. Whoops!

Long story somewhat shortish, a vomitting Kaidy Mae is delivered to the doorstep by some John character my parents had never met. My Mom had phoned the police to file a missing person's report (it wasn't 48 hours, but when a 16 year old girl disappears from school people get a little antsy). THEN we had to go find my older sister who was driving around, in tears, looking for my mangled corpse on the side of the road.

There were also many incidents where I was out and mysteriously caught "the flu" and had to get the folks to bring me home. I remember falling out of the car one night and being sick in the driveway. My Mom just said, "The flu, my ass!" and went inside.

I was a horribly inconsiderate teenager. I fear that if I ever have a daughter that she'll be more wicked and wild than I was. Yikes!

BWAHAHA! i still laugh so much when i think about how i watched in fear as LM ate a bowl full of psychedelic pussy (which i found out later was black bean soup) LOL! it looked exactly the same. *phew*

I'm glad someone else thought that was chocolate as well. I came inside after a "medicinal" visit to the porch and saw Deb in the kitchen with a giant pot full of brown matter. I forgot all about the black bean soup and had just assumed that she was making a monster batch of chocolate. At first I was shocked. Then I thought it was a pretty good idea (hence me trying to melt more chocolate about 1/2 an hour later). LOL Good thing it was soup. Otherwise I may still be trying to claw my way out of some other dimension.

My sleepy head is still swimming from the 4 days of mayhem in Mousegoode and the looooooong drive home. Man, what a GREAT weekend!

Deb & Dave: Thank you guys so much for your awesome hospitality. I don't know if I've ever had a long weekend stuffed with that much good food, giggles and good times. Thanks for everything. Your generosity is astounding. Oh, and Deb, thanks for babysitting my "Let's eat 3 chocolate suckers and hide in the basement" boyfriend. Reading poetry, my ass! Oh, and we still have to work out the details for our Llamas & Lingerie Ecotour. LMAO!

Team Ottawa: It was so good to see all of you guys again. I was hesitant to go into the basement out of fear that I'd never get back out! Bouche & Ms. Hux are like freakin' snake charmers. I get stuck! LOL I wish the ladies could've stayed longer and that I got to hang out with Surly Booche more, but alas, next time.

Heather, it was SO nice to meet you. Thanks for your help with the late night attempt at "Psychedelic Pussies". Hahaha. I still can't get the damn things to solidify. It was a hoot hanging out with ya!

Velvet, you are quite possibly the only person I know that could be an appropriate stand-in for Surly Booche. Thank you for yelling, screaming, sliding and carrying on like a maniac that you do so well. Really though, it was a pleasure to meet you!

So great to finally meet Jay, Hux & SugarMegs. You guys rock. I'm glad you enjoyed the book Jay. Check out David Sedaris. He's hilarious! I hope I'll get more time to hang out with all of you guys the next time I'm in the area.

Lauren, if you're reading this...HELLO FRIEND! If I'm ever heading to Montreal I'll be sure to let you know.

My frantic typing is causing me to get the evil eye here at work (what else is new?), so I'll wrap this up by saying that the fence looks amazing! What a great idea. I honestly never thought it would fly. Thanks to Large Marge for being my partner in crime for the fence door. I still laugh my ass off every time I picture the Scullys arriving home and that being the first thing they see. Dr. Evil Mouse, once the neighbours start to inquire as to the meaning of the dancing pineapple you're going to wish you had've let me paint that glitter crucifix on the gate!

More stories to accompany some photos once they're up on flickr (and once I remember them).

No TV over here either. I grew up without one, so I don't jones for it like some folks do when they remove it from their life. When you're a kid growing up in a beautiful forest (with 9 people and a daycare in the house) there's no need for a TV. I always had someone to play with and there were all sorts of adventures to be had in the woods. I remember first becoming aware of the tube when friends at school would reference things and I had no idea what they were talking about. Before that I didn't really realize that the majority of the population watched it every day.

I still see some stuff from time to time when I'm over at other people's houses...and my folks have a set as well. I do love the Simpsons, Family Guy etc., but it's better for me to have to go out of my way to watch it. I'll watch the odd DVD, but on the laptop. I don't ever want to own a TV. It makes me restless. I'd much rather crank some tunes and cook or clean or curl up with my cat and a good book (there are so damn many of them).

edit to add: Never in my life have I had cable. I think that's also one reason why I never really got sucked in. It was never available at my house because we were too far away from the city. We still can't even get highspeed internet!

WATCH? I'm bringing my own freakin' hula hoop man! How about a hula-strip tease combo? YEAH! Then we can make our OWN video.

(i'll bring the video camera)

This sounds like an assignment for a saucer-eyed Brinapple.

Bouche, this is how crazy rumours get started.

Dave, safe drive buddy. We'll have warm apple pie and other unmentionables waiting for you upon arrival. Good luck keeping Lacey awake.

We actually started priming the fence! Hurray. That thing takes a lot of primer. Whew! Where's Cjamson with his professional opinion?

Yay to Mike & Sharon and to your lovely yellow house and your cutey little dog and your bubbley warm hot tub and your timeless basement and your AMAZING HOSPITALITY. I truly love Ottawa/Hull so much because of the amazing times (what a crazy weekend) I had at your place this past year. Thank you so much for continually opening up your home to out-of-towners and showing us the best damn time around.

Oh, and Bouche, you've got some competition in Osgoode. Better come out tomorrow and show us how it's done.

No harm intended Kaidy-mae. You were similar in name only.

Well, that's good to know! As long as it wasn't a voodoonapple, I'm good.

I remember the first time I met you and Lesley at Guigsy's (pre sringtime BNB in London). I instantly adored both of you. And then at CTMF you two nearly made me pee!

Ian: "Fuck yeah!" *kick* [shoe flies off and lands on tent containing a sleeping Lesley]

[zipper of tent opening]

Lesley: "Ian?"

Ian: "Yes honey?"

Lesley: "Could you please come here for a minute?"

[ian leaves to attend to sleeping (now awakened) girlfriend in tent while his collected friends giggle in the morning light about him being "in trouble"]

Upon his return...

Friends: "So? What happened? Are you in trouble?"

Ian: "Nope! She just told me to keep my shoes on."

You two cracked me right up! Hilarious. I hope to spend more time with the both of you in the future. Thorngor, have a kickass birthday goven'r! Lesley, good luck.

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YOUR BODY IS A WONDERLAND.

Fuckin' John Mayer!!! :mad: My better (?) half revealed to me in recent weeks that he likes that song? I am 100% with you Lex. For a moment I had to reevaluate my entire relationship.

It was so great to meet you this year! Too bad you're back in the 'Shwa (no offence Schwa) now. I hope you have an awesome day. I'll drink my next drink for you buddy!

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We've picked up gallons and gallons of bright colourful paint, and Kaidy Mae and I are just about to start priming the fence (on the agenda immediately after we start drinking!)

First off, Deb's crazy. My liver is primed (thank you Bombay Sapphire!), but we have yet to touch the fence.

I've had an awesome day here in Osgoode. I've been to a llama farm, biked around the town, picked up Deb & Dave's kids from school and stopped by a lingerie shop (yes, with the kids). All we have to do now is sand/prime the fence, make dinner and make some "fun" enhanced chocolates.

Bouche, who are these townie Scullys that you speak of? Do you think they know how to play Uno? Would they like pineapple? I want to see your 20" before I go home (OMG, that sounds so bad!).

We'll be thinking of all of you who can't make it. CoP, I'll run into you one of these days.

Mom burn!!! Right on. LOL