Patchoulia

Q: How can I prevent a hat of meat from going bad?

A: We suggest that when not in use, you keep your hat of meat in the refrigerator or freezer. For periods of prolonged exposure, spraying your hat with a thin coat of hairspray or Pam provides hours of protection.

Q: How do I discourage flies and dogs from pestering me when I am wearing a hat of meat?

A: A squirt-gun filled with lemon or lime juice is an excellent canine deterrent. A thin coat of hairspray on your hat of meat will keep the flies away.

Q: Is it safe for me to eat a hat of meat?

A: Except for hats made of beef or other types of jerky, it is not recommended that you ingest any type of meat hat.

Q: How can I combat the foul smell that sometimes comes with older hats of meat?

A: A simple solution is to lightly baste your hats of meat with barbecue sauce, teriyaki or other aromatic marinades.

Q: Is there such thing as a wig or toupee of meat?

A: Yes. Manhattan’s trendy “Meatheads†shop offers a wide selection of hair replacement options made entirely of meat.

Is this the best website or the sickest, you being a vegan and all?

Sick, shmick--whoever came up with this may the most warped person in the world. You gotta admire that.

Q: Is wearing a hat of meat harmful to my hair?

A: On the contrary, the protein and natural juices found in meat provide your hair with essential nutrients. Traces of fat lubricate the follicles, in some cases even encouraging new growth.

THE BASE-BULL CAP - This classic is made from the best of the male bovine to bring out the best in the sports fan, male or female. It features a visor of fine flank steak and a helmet of lean, grade-A 100% ground beef. It's a tailgate party for your head!

THE CANADIAN - This cold-weather cap features a helmet of fine Canadian bacon and a chin-strap of sausage links. Just as their dense flesh protects pigs through the harsh Canadian winters, this hat keeps your head warm in the coldest of climates.

I can die content--now I have seen everything.

THE PORKPIE - Modeled after the classic porkpie hat, this sharp number is made of genuine Louisiana pork.

www.hatsofmeat.com

"Life is grand, with Dave as my man"

Awwwwwwwww...

Barf.

j/k

Congratulations to 2 people who I thought were super cool until I heard they were moving to stupid Ottawa, away from me.

Is it just me or does this sound like something Stephen Baldwin's character in "Half-Baked" would say?

Something involving a bucket of bleach, a coat hanger and peanut butter.

"Hey man, we're out of papers man."

"Alright, then get me a toilet paper roll, a cork screw, and some tin foil."

"We don't have a cork screw."

"Alright, then get me an avacado, an ice pick, and my snorkel. Trust me bro, I've made bongs with less. Hurry up."

Man...that's a nice ass...wait a sec...what a gorgeous fan.

LOL

LOL - I think that was the only circle of "heads" I have ever seen that didn't know the words to Truckin'.

Listen, ass, it wasn't that we didn't KNOW the words, it was that we couldn't REMEMBER the words...big difference..

Let's get Beth to repeat her theory about how short-term memory loss is a GOOD thing...

I should probably bring my GD songbook--if the sad display at Izzy's is any indication, our collective lyrical prowess is, shall we say, less than stellar....

Good luck rebuilding your various cyber-collections.

In other news, I just have to comment that this is the most overwhelmingly depressing thread title I've ever seen.

Does this mean your cat feels better?

On an altogether different note, I just want to evolve. I've been waiting, for, like, weeks. Not fair.

Ah, the melodious strains of pathological jingoism...

Is NO ONE going to address my queries?

I was at Lakehead for a summer program before Grade 13--I went to Queen's for university (primarily to get the hell away from Northern Ontario..the "good education" part was secondary...)

Yep, I grew up there. I also spent a summer at Lakehead (I was in Nipigon house).

The big apple is in Coburg, not Colburne--that's an error.

My dog that I had when I was growing up was named Chimo--because I saw a show about Eskimos and they called their dogs "chimo" so I insisted that my dog be named Chimo also.

Chimo means friend.

Can you tell I have no compunctions whatsoever about accomplishing nothing at work today?

Other "big things" in Ontario (insert _____'s penis joke here):

The Big Nickel (Sudbury)

The Mutant Hickhiker (or Big Foot)

This was located in a town very near where I grew up. I loved that guy when I was kid. I have several pictures of myself between the ages of 4-7 with this guy. I always thought his loincloth was just super!

The Big Goose (Wawa)

Why is this thing so famous?

oooh, and another one:

it's

"I may be biased"

not

"I may be bias"

Along those lines, here's another one:

If you're hesitant or unsure about something, you can be leery or wary but not weary--that means you're feeling sleepy.

Awww..don't be a sad dinghy. I jest, I jest!

Doesn't a period do the same thing?

A period indicates a stop to a sentence. Duh.

This is Max. Here's a little story about him from www.bigthings.ca/ontario (Big Things In Ontario!)

Designer: Elwin Palmer, a Past President of the Dryden District Chamber of Commerce is credited as being creator..

When Built: July 19, 1962

Dimensions:

Height: 18 Feet (5.5 Metres)

Weight: 4000 pounds

Antler span: 11 feet (3.4 Metres)

Construction Materials:

Steel and Concrete

Reason for Building:

Dryden has had a moose as a symbol for 50 years. It was decided that a 'Moosecot' would be a fitting symbol for the community.

Additional Information:

Maximillion was at one time anatomically correct, but vandalism was too great, so he is now "politically correct".

There is apparently a Friend to Max quiz, stories and poems about this statue.

I love the part about how he used to be anatomically correct but they changed that due to persistent vandalism..yes, yes, it was likely my friends who caused that...they once cut his boy-bits off as a souvenir. Another time, they spray painted the cock and balls red and wrote "HUNG" on both sides of Max.

Ah, small town shenanigans. And people wonder why I didn't move back there after graduation.

An ellipsis (or ellipses' date=' plural) does not have to be three dots.....it can be any number of dots....actually, it doesn't matter--it can be any symbol indicating a pause in speech.[/quote']

No!!! 3 dots! It must be 3 dots!!

Okay, okay! It's three dots!

Jeez.

In "Kooky Ollie Land", an ellipsis is three dots...and ONLY three dots...