Esau Posted March 8, 2005 Report Share Posted March 8, 2005 Number One Idiot of 2004 woman called the Emergency Poison Center very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. She was quickly reassured that ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation and happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. She was told that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Two Idiot of 2004 Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Three Idiot of 2004 A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag" While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Five Idiot of 2004 A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, because I don't believe you are over 21. " The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later. This guy definitely needs a sign! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Six of 2004 A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Seven of 2004 Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Eight of 2004 Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. Sign please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PassedOutGuy Posted March 8, 2005 Report Share Posted March 8, 2005 Hilarious~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bokonon Posted March 8, 2005 Report Share Posted March 8, 2005 ricky just told me he's two tiles short of a ceiling. it's not really related to this thread but i thought it was funny too so i put it here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted March 8, 2005 Report Share Posted March 8, 2005 i remember hearing of a bank robbery in MI a few years back and the robbers took a handful of candy from the teller's window. the cops followed the wrappers back to the hideout and arrested all. STUPID oh ya, and the name of the candy was "dum dums" Really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau Posted March 8, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2005 i remember hearing of a bank robbery in MI a few years back and the robbers took a handful of candy from the teller's window. the cops followed the wrappers back to the hideout and arrested all.STUPIDoh ya, and the name of the candy was "dum dums"Really. Now thats funny.A friend of mine years back got all wasted up with some other buddies he knew in Caledonia and they got the great idea to rob the Pioneer gas station across the street from the guys house they were drinking at with a toy hand gun (very dumb),now my buddy (my tattoo artist) pulled his shirt over his face for a mask but had his whole upper body tattoo'd (arms,chest,back etc) & was very known in town having lived there for years...amongst other things. ::Long story short,they took the cash & smokes...but left a trail of smokes from the gas station to the apt across the street,between that & the fact he was completley drunk he didn't realize the attendant was another buddy of ours he obviously got busted within twenty minutes of the cops looking for em,fortunatley (for him) the attendant neglected to mention the toy gun,although he wasn't the one holding the gun thankfully,he ended up getting a deuce less & served 18 months.Drunk or not that was quite the display of idiot-ism and we told him.[edit to add]This occured back in 1990 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamilton Posted March 8, 2005 Report Share Posted March 8, 2005 I'm just glad that another year has passed and I still haven't done anything stupid enough to warrant inclusion on that list... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazlo Posted March 8, 2005 Report Share Posted March 8, 2005 I'm just glad that another year has passed and I still haven't done anything stupid enough to warrant inclusion on that list... Then you ain't livin' son Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timouse Posted March 9, 2005 Report Share Posted March 9, 2005 heheheheeee...two tiles short of a ceiling! that's hilarious! but the folks on esau's list don't even know where to get tiles those folks sound like people that couldn't quite get it together enough to make the darwin awards list.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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