fluffhead77 Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 (edited) Maybe this has been posted here, but I've just discovered "what REALLY happened" in the beginning...I have been touched by HIS noodly appendage! W.W.F.S.M.D? Edited January 13, 2006 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SmoothedShredder Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 [color:purple]I believe The Flying Spaghetti Monster and Jesus's dad are one and the same. The lord works in mysterious ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 so glad you've seen the light brother! welcome aboard, yaaar!!! find yer pirate costume, and help me spread the word! it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t. You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freeker Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 God Bless Fark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 FSM Sightings -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brother Henderson, Forgive me for the obsession with His noodly appendage, but I have felt truly moved by the FSM experience and spent the entire weekend evangalizing my co-workers. I believe that Pastafarianism has a real future in psychiatry, as the FSM can explain all things which we once found mystifying. Let me give you an example of how you have enlightened us. Psychosis is merely the noodly-appendage making Its appearance known to those who are not yet ready to receive It. These are people who have likely avoided carbohydrates in their diets, being corrupted by refusing to commune with the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a normal dietary manner. We discovered recently that a plate piled high with spaghetti has been just as effective as antipsychotic medications in diminishing delusions and hallucinations! We are currently considering writing a grant proposal to study the possible correlation between tangled nerve bundles in the brain associated with Alzheimer's Disease and the FSM. We, the newly converted to praising His starchy name, will seek to apply the pirate regalia to our nursing scrubs. In honor of His desire for us to dress as pirates, I am attaching a photo that I made in trubute to His mysterious command. With sincere humor, Linda Straight, RN, MS, PhD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradm Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 Pirate regalia? There is only one regalia, peaches be ento it.Aloha,Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SmoothedShredder Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 Heresay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 yes, we shall flog him to death with wet noodles! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted January 14, 2006 Report Share Posted January 14, 2006 I spent too much of my day on this site. Ordered some funky stuff, too. If we're lucky enough to have it arrive by the 28th, I'll give out some buttons at the FUNdraiser to a few folks who want one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted January 14, 2006 Report Share Posted January 14, 2006 be honest, now, anyone else have pasta for supper tonight? fack...I'm a total fucking prosletizing idiot for My Noodly Master. I've seldom felt such drive in my life!! I hereby declare myself a pastafarian! and by the slap of His Noodly Appendage, I wish to 4-cheese sauce that I knew more about His concept of a hell, by which to threaten all you NON-BELEIVERS out there. Please post widely: The "1st Pastafarian Chapter of the Village of Osgood" will convene next Tuesday for study of His Noodly Wisdom and lasagna. Come in full pirate regalia, yaar! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluffhead77 Posted January 14, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2006 Ramen Sister, Ramen! preach on the good word of His Noodleness, and ye shall recieve the everlasting flavour of his carbohyrated love... wow that sounds REALLY filthy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted January 15, 2006 Report Share Posted January 15, 2006 hey StoneMtn, check this out...can you help?man, I'd love to take a working holiday to sail on this missionary pirate ship!!!The plan, for some time now, has been to form a non-profit organization, and then purchase a pirate ship, for missionary work - tax free. The government has anticipated needs like ours, allowing religious and scientific groups to continue their not-for-profit work without the burden of taxes. One would think that we, Pastafarians, would qualify, being a widely recognized religion, with overwhelming support by the scientific community.Consider that we are without question the most peaceful religion in existence, with zero documented deaths attributed to us, as opposed to - as an example - Christians who are responsible for millions of deaths (note to angry Christians: the Crusades).And, don't forget about our important scientific research. We've established that there is a statistically significant relationship between the declining pirate population and global temperature. Global warming is a serious problem, and the more pirate ships out there, the better for all of us - even the non-believers.But we've run into problems setting this up. Apparently we are seen as more of a joke - satire, if you will - than a real religion. I, for one, am offended. I feel that my constitutionally guaranteed freedom of religious belief is being unfairly discriminated against.Obviously, if we have to pay taxes, we won't be able to afford as large or bad-ass of a pirate ship. We will continue to fight this discrimination - and if there are any lawyers out there who want to help with the Cause, let me know. In the mean time, let your voice be heard. Sign this petition to show your support and let those government agencies know that ours is a serious religion and deserves recognition. in addition, "The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster" will be published in Feb. 2006 and Brother Henderson is donating ALL proceeds to the Pirate Ship Cause. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted January 15, 2006 Report Share Posted January 15, 2006 okay, clearly I'm living in too small a village, and have llamas for neighbours....but I need to share this news: for the second time in 2 nights, the divine FSM has made Himself known to me; and by His noodly and saucy Appendage, he has commanded me to partake in a late-night spaghetti snack/communion. Now to put this in perspective folks....I only eat pasta about ONCE A MONTH! What else can this be apart from Divine direction and guidance?? ALL HAIL THE DIVINE FSM! I have also come to humbly realize that our Noodly Master is not a vengeful being. In a post above, I 'threatened' non-believers that I would discover and reveal the horrors of the FSM's Hell. I have now seen that our Noodly Master only rewards the faithful and is unconcerned with the heathens (so far) and that heaven is a beautiful place with a Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory! play the game and claim your just rewards in Heaven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmelbatoast Posted January 15, 2006 Report Share Posted January 15, 2006 I was wondering is there any way to get a Pastafaria t-shirt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted January 15, 2006 Report Share Posted January 15, 2006 this link will take you to the FSM store & merchandise....glad you want to help evangelise the masses still left in darkness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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