Song lyrics worthy of submission to Court

[StoneMtn]

The following is a quote from a publication by the American Bar Association, as a result of a contest they ran. Anyone want to add their own suggestions?

Two weeks ago, we mentioned a study that was done to see which songwriter’s lyrics could most often be found in legal opinions to illustrate or support a principle of law. It turned out that Bob Dylan’s lyrics had been most often co-opted by judges to give their rulings some pop-culture pizzazz. So we wanted to know whose music you thought would lend itself well to being used in a legal opinion. Responses ran the gamut, from Leonard Cohen to Jay-Z. Here are our favorites:

Winner!

In one of the early Talking Heads albums there is a song called Cross-eyed and Painless with lyrics that should be in an opinion. I tried to insert the following quote into a footnote in a 9th Circuit brief more than 10 years ago when I was a junior associate:

Facts are simple and facts are straight

Facts are lazy and facts are late

Facts all come with points of view

Facts don’t do what I want them to.

Unfortunately, the senior associate struck out the quote. Coulda made new law. But we did win the appeal.

Glenn Chernigoff

Washington, D.C.

Some issues that at one time seemed clear appear less so with the passage of time. The following is from Shades of Gray by Billy Joel:

Now with the wisdom of years

I try to reason things out

And the only people I fear

Are those who never have doubts

Save us all from arrogant men

And all the causes they’re for

I won’t be righteous again.

Andrew Orenstein

New York City

Leonard Cohen’s later songs have some pointed social satire that could be useful in the more creative, persuasive portions of briefs or opinions. For example, from the song Democracy, a shareholder dispute could be likened to:

The homicidal bitchin’

That goes down in every kitchen

To determine who will serve and who will eat.

Or the dissolution (or violation) of a pension plan could be summarized with these lyrics from The Future: "I’ve seen the future, brother, it is murder."

Marla Carew

Detroit

You can’t always get what you want

But if you try sometimes

You just might find

You get what you need.

The Rolling Stones, in an opinion explaining distribution of marital assets—or in any mediation, really.

Claudia Reis

Hackensack, N.J.

Several possibilities come to mind, but I think there’s a Jimmy Buffett song that sums up a good number of legal opinions: I Don’t Know and I Don’t Care.

Michael Meunier

Williamsburg, Va.

If a landmark criminal case is made of a person rightfully or wrongfully convicted of public drunkenness or disorderly conduct, the appeals judge should quote the poignant lyrics of Big Shot by Billy Joel:

You had to be a big shot, didn’t you

You had to open up your mouth

You had to be a big shot, didn’t you

All your friends were so knocked out

You had to have the last word, last night

You know what everything’s about

You had to have the white-hot spotlight

You had to be a big shot, last night.

Andrew Sindler

Germantown, Md.

As a civil litigator, I’ve never had the chance to quote it, but I’ve long thought that the Grateful Dead got it right with Truckin’:

If you got a warrant

I guess you’re gonna come in.

Siobhan Murphy

Chicago

The best lyrics for an opinion on an illegal car search would be Jay-Z’s 99 Problems:

Well, my glove compartment is locked, so are the trunk in the back

And I know my rights so you gon’ need a warrant for that

"Aren’t you sharp as a tack, you some type of lawyer or somethin’?"

"Or somebody important or somethin’?"

Nah, I ain’t pass the bar, but I know a little bit

Enough that you won’t illegally search my [car].

Name withheld by request

Atlanta

In United States v. McPhee, the defendant appealed his conviction for possessing marijuana while on board a ship. He argued that the ship was outside U.S. jurisdiction at the time of his arrest because it was in the vicinity of Saint Vincent Rock, which he maintained was an island of the Bahamas. The 11th Circuit noted that the whole case turned on whether Saint Vincent Rock "is a ‘rock’ or an ‘island’ for the purposes of determining Bahamian territorial waters."

The 11th Circuit also noted, "We can discern no reason why something could not be both a rock and an island at the same time." It cited Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel’s I Am a Rock. The court did point out, however, that "neither Simon nor Garfunkel has been identified as a nautical expert."

The court affirmed the conviction.

Name withheld by request

Washington, D.C.

How about the lyrics of Everybody Knows by Leonard Cohen for injecting some cynical realism into the kind of decision that elevates the interests of big business over those of the little guy with justice but nothing else on his side:

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded

Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed

Everybody knows that the war is over

Everybody knows the good guys lost

Everybody knows the fight was fixed

The poor stay poor, the rich get rich

That’s how it goes

Everybody knows.

Gillian Talwar

Southfield, Mich.

I’d vote for W.S. Gilbert. A quick Lexis search shows some 230 citations to W.S. Gilbert, Gilbert and Sullivan, or common phrases from the Savoy operas. The list includes three U.S. Supreme Court cases. Some 56 law review articles cite Gilbert.

Gilbert, though called to the bar, found that the bar was not his calling. Nonetheless, legal thought, situations and complications form the basis for the plots of the operas.

Because Gilbert’s work both captures the majesty of legal syntax and parodies the complexities of our work, the plays are very appealing to lawyers. Junior associates might well think of Sir Joseph Porter as "polish[ing] up the handle of the big front door" when he was in their position. Most litigators have, after a bad day in court, been in the situation sung by the judge in Trial by Jury:

Though homeward as you trudge

You declare my law is fudge.

Jeffrey Dine

New York City

I always loved Jethro Tull’s Farm on the Freeway, a song dedicated to the potentially devastating effects of eminent domain. The lyrics underscore how "just compensation" doesn’t always compensate. In fact, it can destroy the American dream. The lyrics drive home the dangers of decisions such as the Supreme Court’s Kelo decision. In the song, what went from a generational inheritance plan set deep in a sublime valley left father and son with nothing more than a check, a pickup truck and a farm on the freeway. As the former farmer poignantly states, "I was a rich man before yesterday."

Jason Massaro

Indianapolis

[Dr. J]

We walked in a cloud of smoke

She sold me over from the moment that she spoke

Well they got me now

I'll see you later

Tell my baby that i really don't blame her.

I'm out back to answer questions

And with a gun they make suggestions

What I should do

What I should say

Tell my baby that I loved her anyway.

Mafia Sting - The Spades

[StoneMtn]

Well, now that Dr. J got the ball rolling (and good one by the way!) I think I'll add a short one of my own...

The heat came round and busted me for smilin' on a cloudy day.

That's It for the Other One ~ GD

[Esau.]

My daddy told me of the comealongs

And the time came for me to wear my own

I swore I'd never wear them again

But it seems this here's my schoolin'

So I furthered myself academically

In the local correctional facility

The comealongs

by Jimmy Smith

[MarcO]

Good morning, Worm, your honor

The Crown will plainly show

The prisoner who now stands before you

Was caught red-handed showing feelings

Showing feelings of an almost human nature

This will not do

Call the schoolmaster

I always said he'd come to no good

In the end, your Honor

If they'd let me have my way

I could have flayed him into shape

But my hands were tied

The bleeding hearts and artists

Let him get away with murder

Let me hammer him today

Crazy

Toys in the attic, I am crazy

Truly gone fishing

They must have taken my marbles away

Crazy

Toys in the attic, he is crazy

Call the defendant's wife

You little shit, you're in it now

I hope they throw away the key

You should've talked to me more often than you did

But no! You had to go your own way

Have you broken any homes up lately?

Just five minutes, Worm, your Honor

Him and me alone

Baaaaaabe

Come to Mother, baby

Let me hold you in my arms

M'Lord, I never meant for him to get in any trouble

Why'd he ever have to leave me?

Worm, your Honor, let me take him home

Crazy

Over the rainbow, I am crazy

Bars in the window

There must have been a door there in the wall

When I came in

Crazy

Over the rainbow, he is crazy

The evidence before the court is incontravertible

There's no need for the jury to retire

In all the years of judging I have never heard before

Of someone more deserving of the full penalty of the law

The way you made 'em suffer

Your exquisite wife and mother

Fills me with the urge to deficate

Since, my friend

You have revealed your deepest fear

I sentence you to be exposed before your peers

Tear down the wall

"Tear down the wall, Tear down the wall, ..."

[allison]

Now thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house

Or covet thy neighbor's wife

But for some

Murder is the only door thru which they enter life

Tom Waits-Murder in the Red Barn

[mark tonin]

"Victim Or The Crime"

Words by Gerrit Graham and Bob Weir; music by Bob Weir

Copyright Ice Nine Publishing (1988)

Patience runs out on the junkie

The dark side hires another soul

Did he steal his fate or earn it

Was he force-fed, did he learn it

Whatever happened to his precious self control

Like him I'm tired of trying to heal

This tom-cat heart with which I'm blessed

Is destruction loving's twin

Must I choose to lose or win

Maybe when my turn comes I will have guessed

These are the horns of the dilemma

What truth is proof against all lies

When sacred fails before profane

The wisest man is deemed insane

Even the purest of romantics compromise

What fixation feeds this fever

As the full moon pales and climbs

Am I living truth or rank deceiver

Am I the victim or the crime

Am I the victim or the crime

Am I the victim or the crime

Or the crime

And so I wrestle with the angel

To see who'll reap the seeds I sow

Am I the driver or the driven

Will I be damned to be forgiven

Is there anybody here but me who needs to know

What it is to face this fever

As the full moon pales and climbs

Am I living truth or rank deceiver

Am I the victim or the crime

Am I the victim or the crime

Am I the victim or the crime

Or the crime

[mark tonin]

One more submission to this thread from Talking Heads, from their Fear of Music album:

Electric Guitar

Electric guitar gets run over by a car on the highway

This is a crime against the state

This is the meaning of life.

To tune this electric guitar

An electric guitar is brought in to a court of law

The judge and the jury (twelve members of the jury)

All listening to records

This is a crime against the state

This is the verdict they reach:

Never listen to electric guitar

Electric guitar is copies, the copy sounds better

Call this the law of justice, call this freedom and liberty

I thought I perjure myself, right infront of the jury!

Is this a crime against the state? no!

This is the verdict they reach:

Someone controls electric guitar.

[timouse]

Framed - Cheech & Chong version

(Lieber & Stoller)

I was sitting in the coffee shop

Just minding my own affair

When all of a sudden, this

Policeman caught me unaware

Said, is your name Pedro

I says, yeah, I guess so

Said, then come with me cause

You're the man we been looking for

I said, hey, man

I been framed

Hey, no, really, man

I was framed

Aw, I never do nothing wrong, man

But every time I get the blame

I been framed

They put me in the lineup

And let the bright lights shine

There was ten poor dudes like me

Standing in that line

I knew I was the victim

Of somebody's evil plan

When this scroungy looking dude

Came up and said, yeah

That's him, man

Hey, wait a minute, man

I been framed, man

Aw, listen to me, judge

I was framed

I never do nothing wrong

But every time I get the blame

Hey, I been framed

Then the prosecuting attorney

Started prosecuting on me

That dude gave me the first

Second, and third degree

He said where were you

On the night of July 29

I said, man, I was home in bed

He said, judge, that man's lying

I said wait a minute, man

I was framed, man

Hey, judge, listen to me, man

Really, you gotta believe me

I been framed, man

I never do nothing wrong

But every time I get the blame

Oh, I was framed

Now look, I deny the charges

Of having any weed

And I also deny the charges

Of taking any speed

I deny the charges

Of selling any grass

But when the judge

Looked down and said guilty

I said, judge, you can kiss my

Framed

Judge, I'm telling you the truth

I was framed, man

I never do nothing wrong

But every time I get the blame

Hey, I was framed

Oh, framed

[Dr_Evil_Mouse]

"Test me, test me, test me, test me...

Why don't you arrest me?

Throw me into the jailhouse

Until the sun goes down..."

[Blurry]

The Facts of Life

You take the good,

You take the bad,

You take them both and there you have the facts of life.

The facts of life.

There's a time you gotta go and show

You're growin' now,

You know about the facts of life.

The facts of life.

When the world never seems,

To be living up to your dreams.

And suddenly you're finding out,

The facts of life are all about you.

All about you.

You-u-u-u,

A-ll about you.

It takes a lot to get em right,

But you're learnin the facts of life.

Learnin the facts of life.

Learnin the facts of life.

Learnin the facts of li-fe.

[bONES]

Cold Blood - Peter Tosh

Every time I see Babylon my blood runs cold

Every time I see the wicked men my belly moves

You say after me sir

I solemnly swear

That the evidence I shall give

Shall be the truth

The whole truth

And nothin but the truth

So help me God

So help I Jah(3x)..Rastafari

Every time I see the wicked men my belly moves

You are brought before this court

For having ganja in your possession

Guilty or not guilty

Not guilty your honor

How could one man do such a thing...ganja

It is totally impossible your honor

I can remember yeah

When I was framed and jailed, brutalized

The grudge would find me guilty

For an exhibit they could not find

Every time I see Babylon my blood runs cold

Every time I see the wicked men my belly moves

When I see the condition

I said it's a curse

For the past 400 years ago

Things get from bad to worse

Every time I see Babylon my blood runs cold

Every time I see the wicked men my belly moves