I generally seek understanding, as to why someone may have behaved a certain way, or decided to disregard my feelings. Or why they are perhaps so wrapped up in the process of seeking self-affirmation, and reinforcement/affirmation from those around them, that they lose sight of how they actually interact with the rest of the world (losing sight of the importance of responsibility, accountability, etc). If I can understand why someone may have acted in a certain way, than I can atleast possibly begin to put myself in their shoes, and then decide whether I could have ever followed along the same wayward path (regardless of whether their path is leading them astray), if I had been granted different life circumstances. I'm not sure if this is the same as forgiveness. Yet if I can understand someone's motivations, or environmental influences, then I seem to feel better about things. It helps me to take things less personally.