A reception desk in a sort of office building. Receptionist (Rita Davies) Yes, sir? Man I'd like to have an argument please. Receptionist Certainly, sir. Have you been here before...? Man No, this is my first time. Receptionist I see. Do you want to have the full argument, or were you thinking of taking a course? Man Well, what would be the cost? Receptionist Yes, it's one pound for a five-minute argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten. Man Well, I think it's probably best if I start with the one and see how it goes from there. OK? Receptionist Fine. I'll see who's free at the moment ... Mr. Du-Bakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory ... yes, try Mr. Barnard - Room 12. Man Thank you. The man walks down a corridor. He opens door 12. There is a man at a desk. Mr Barnard (shouting) What do you want? Man Well I was told outside ... Mr Barnard Don't give me that you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings! Man What! Mr Barnard Shut your festering gob you tit! Your type makes me puke! You vacuous toffee-nosed malodorous pervert! Man Look! I came here for an argument. Mr Barnard (calmly) Oh! I'm sorry, this is abuse. Man Oh I see, that explains it. Mr Barnard No, you want room 12A next door. Man I see - sorry. (exits) Mr Barnard Not at all. (as he goes) Stupid git.