Nero Infighting

[bradm]

You have a special rocker dedicated to fucking? Does Ikea carry those?

Aloha,

Brad

[Hux]

Yes Brad, IKEA does carry those, under the cute swedish product name:

"Coito", with scotchguard stain resistent fabric.

[bouche]

wok the heck is real anyway?

- Yan circa 1984

I wish I had had more time to tell the difference between reality and fiction before I react sometimes.

I was all day on the phone, calling around Canada trying to corroborate the story. I even made a couple of calls to the white house, but Bush kept asking if nero wanted to join the to fight the war on terrorism. I kept telling him that they have been fighting in the war on terrorism all across canada, and if he'd open his big ass ears, he'd hear it.

[dave-O]

You're right, this was a waste of my time.

[Hux]

But the OFFICIAL Jambands.ca slogan is:

"come waste your time with us"....

So, isn't that the point Dave-O?

[Velvet]

No, you can't call me Velvy.

Burlington is December 14th.

Sorry Kung, I wasn't sure if you were joking or not (I guess the piece was a bit too true and a bit not funny).

Check this:

Northernheads.com Sold To Time/Warner For $3.9 Billion

(AP) The useless website that could has skyrocketted into one of the most hit sites on the entire world wide web, it's popularity catching the eye of major internet players. What was until just a few days ago an insignificant, contentless website dedicated to Canadian "Druggy Rock" has exploded into a multi-billion dollar cash cow for site master King Kung. "I don't believe it, I just started making shit up and posting my link on real sites and all of a sudden, pow, people were finally going to my site," Kung was quoted as saying.

After several fledgling years, as Kung watched site after site rise above northernheads.com, finally his new strategy paid off. "I realised, hey, all these losers will believe anything, and if they get pissed I can say I'm joking, it's beautiful!" said Kung. "Plus, whoever pays attention to what I'm doing, I get to call them losers! What a deal!"

Time/Warner has stepped up to bat with a massive buyout, making Kung a very rich man. "The only downside is, now I feel dumb bragging about scoring free tickets to shows...I'm still gonna try and score freebies though, it's only right," Kung said as he climbed into his helicopter bound for the comp line at a benifit for Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto. Displaying a possible penchant for Tourettes, Kung was heard to yell over the sound of the chopper lift off, "Fuck you all...Just kidding hahahahaha!"

To wit: Parody should be a) obvious, and funny.

[dogatthestation]

Probably not you.

[Velvet]

Kung, we've spoken about this stuff in person, and you know I agree with you - 100% praise is no fun and of little use. But we can't let you have ALL the fun, now can we? Hope you weren't offended by my little comedy piece, just stirring the pot a little.

[kung]

I'll take what I dish in this case with one major fucking proviso. The bands need people like myself, they need to know that there are people in the audience who aren't going to say 8 million variations on 'it's all good braaaaah'. Does anybody really take the time to track what these bands are doing, what they're singing about (or not), what directions there moving in. Does any American ever even see the names of these bands written in print. Besides the fact that no one pays me to do this and I rarely ask for comped tickets. I'm not a fucking journalist, I'm not a professional, and like all the musicians I don't ask (or have to) for permission before I create something (or urinate in peoples ears as it were). And so what if there are a whack of slick ass looking websites out there jambands, jamhub, jamaholic, jamalamadingdong, jamorama, jammeupthehoop.... It all comes to naught if there isn't a story to tell. Content is king you know. So whose going to tell the story?