Jakis Posted May 1, 2009 Report Share Posted May 1, 2009 hillarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Wish Posted May 1, 2009 Report Share Posted May 1, 2009 OH yeah this is a great way to let Friday afternoon dissappear:(914): Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewRider Posted May 1, 2009 Report Share Posted May 1, 2009 AWESOME!!!(860): I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent(860): fuckk wrong person(1-860):.. who was that for? a girlscout? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewRider Posted May 1, 2009 Report Share Posted May 1, 2009 (201): he wasnt completely random(914): you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont(201): i get things done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianphan Posted May 1, 2009 Report Share Posted May 1, 2009 (973): On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?----(910): another moral hangover. fuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jakis Posted May 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2009 (262): Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cully Posted May 1, 2009 Report Share Posted May 1, 2009 (202): Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewRider Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 (202): Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.When I saw that one I actually thought "Oh, that must be a text from Cully!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cully Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 you know me too well...fucking absenthe!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d_rawk Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 (415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAlphaNerd Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 you know me too well...fucking absenthe!!You blame everything on it... everything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AD Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 (847): I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AD Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 (310): dude i need help, im throwing up blood.(323): no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.(310): oh, so thats why my junks red.(323): wow. cant help you there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d_rawk Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 (617): i feel rough(617): just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Low Roller Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 (212): Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.(248): hah, sarcasm, classic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAlphaNerd Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 (480): oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubberdinghy Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 what's with the three digit numbers before each text? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAlphaNerd Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 I am assuming it is to represent the time the text was sent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AD Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 area code Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAlphaNerd Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 Now I feel like a dork... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killatokes Posted May 4, 2009 Report Share Posted May 4, 2009 much thanks to OP for the link! this site is highlarious. trawling thru i found this messed up gem:(314): U should come over 2nite(1-314): $$$$(314): R u crazy I am offended(1-314): We totally had this conversation already(314): Ur totally a homosexual or either delusional(1-314): Neither, well maybe the 2nd one a little but def not gay. Plus, you agreed last night(314): First of all that wasn't last night and secondly I never agreed(1-314): Yeah you did(314): No I told u were crazy and to shut up about it cuz its not happening. Xanax clouds the memory(1-314): No sex then.(314): Y would you act like that esp after u really hurt my feelings by insulting me the last time I saw you(1-314): Sorry for hurting your feelings, but you did agree. You even gave me 5 bucks to seal the agreement(314): Yeah I gave u 5 bucks to bribe u into doin it right then doesn't mean I agreed to pay u from then on(314): I cannot even believe we are having this conversation, r u crazy?(314): Soo when r u gonna come over?(1-314): $$$$$(314): How do u figure I shud pay you for something u enjoy doing to? Im waiting to hear your rational answer(1-314): Because people search a lifetime to get paid for what they love doing, especially when they are good at it. I…(1-314): Im really good at making you orgasm, so why not get paid like al other professionals that are being paid good(1-314): Did I mention doctors, lawyers, and oh yeah NURSEs(314): U have an orgasm too did u forget(314): Ur crazy(1-314): I make you have multiple, and secondly the reciprocation of pleasure does not negate payment(1-314): You always say how you don't have to worry about money, due to your dad. Why is such a big deal(314): Cuz it makes me feel lowwwww(1-314): All lot of things people low. Don't do it if you don't feel its right and its immoral(314): R u fucking serious(314): Give me the dick nowwwwwW...T....F...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchoulia Posted May 4, 2009 Report Share Posted May 4, 2009 I got this txt sent to me @ 3:39 am Saturday morning from a buddy of mine..I think it's "texts from last night" worthy:"I'm eating a moon pie, Dave is getting married and I forgot how much whiskey we used to drink..."When I woke up, I wrote back saying, "Wow, that's a lot of information for 3:40 am.."A few hours later he wrote back, "Yeah, I think I did pretty well. However, that moon pie reformed in my stomach and is now eating me from the inside out."hehehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Wish Posted May 4, 2009 Report Share Posted May 4, 2009 Davey Boy on Booche?!:(202): He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted May 4, 2009 Report Share Posted May 4, 2009 Booche is so far in the closet that it would take a well organised search party to get him out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livingstoned Posted May 4, 2009 Report Share Posted May 4, 2009 (813): Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick. ----- (847): we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us. ----- (312): i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now