Jump to content
Jambands.ca

bokonon

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    3,839

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Posts posted by bokonon

  1. Tips for Dating a Musician

    in Soundboard

    Posted

    My friend Wanda forwarded this to me, a little later than I needed it, but it's never too late for everyone else!! :P

    Dating a musician is no easy feat. First you have to realize that the band will

    always, no matter how important you think you are, come first. If you can't handle

    that basic point, then don't bother reading the rest of these tips. It's never

    gonna work out. Move on. Go date a dishwasher. If you're okay with being second

    or maybe even tenth - below his tour manager - on his priority list, then you

    might have a chance of happiness. Keep in mind, not all musicians are total

    freaks. Some of them can end up being really sweet, especially if they have grown

    up a little and realize that you love them for for who they are and not because

    their video is playing on MTV. Good luck - you're gonna need lots, honey.

    Make sure he realizes that you are indeed his girlfriend and not a groupie.

    You're definitely gonna feel like one when you go to all his gigs to show

    support. And don't get pissy when girls flirt with him. He's a musician and that

    sorta thing goes with the territory. Just be sure he knows not to transform those

    groupies into bimbo bed tourists. After all, if you trust each other, you

    shouldn't be jealous of a drooling tart in pink fishnets.

    Don't freak out if he breaks a romantic dinner date on account of band practice.

    This will happen a lot. Chances are he was looking forward to spending time with

    you, but spaced a band rehearsal. He means well. Really. Try not to place tons of

    importance on timeliness.

    Assuming his latest love song is about you is a bad idea. He did date girls (and

    maybe guys) before you and probably still harbors feelings for them. Most likely,

    unless you fell for a bubblegum pop star, he'll play the angry singer and won't

    write a song about you until you break his heart or he breaks yours.

    Album credits are for kissing peoples' butts or making amends. Don't expect to be

    thanked in the liner notes unless you paid rent for the entire band for a year.

    Remember, tributes are for bill payers (a.k.a. parents) and dead folks.

    His guitar is his child. Do not borrow it, touch it, trip over it or mock it.

    Even if it's a purple glitter guitar with a torn Alf sticker on it. His guitar is

    sacred. His guitar is sometimes his only key to communication. He loves his

    guitar more than people.

    No one understands him and he likes it that way. It makes him feel different and

    interesting. If you don't get his lyrics or you think his comments can be

    slightly cruel at times, just deal with it. It's part of his act. If he makes a

    mantra out of the phrases "you don't understand me" or "you have no idea what

    it's like to be me," then just let it go. You probably do understand him all too

    well, and that's what bugs him. You don't always have to be a musician to

    understand one.

    Many musicians also go down the path of indifference. Sometimes it's a direct

    result of taking anti-depression meds, but on the whole it's just who they are.

    It's amazing how musicians seem to pour out their souls in their music, but can't

    handle an emotional conversation with their girlfriends.

    On the other side of the coin, your boyfriend might end up being a drama queen.

    This means he yells a lot about annoying band members or freaks out when the

    sound system is screwy at his concert. Beware of this type. They often think they

    are Jesus and have the nail marks to prove it.

    Be careful dating the depressed musician. It might be nice to feel like this lost

    soul needs you and only you. But as soon as you screw up in the slightest, you're

    off his pretty pedestal and in the dumpster.

    Getting collect calls at 3am on a regular basis from a boyfriend on tour who's

    asking to be talked out of suicide, does not count as foreplay. Get him the kind

    of help from people who are paid to deal with this sorta thing. You're supposed

    to be his best friend, not his therapist.

    Don't let yourself become your boyfriend's free promotions director. Seriously.

    Just because he's your boyfriend doesn't mean his band is godly. So don't shove

    his demo tapes in your friends faces like a religious cult member.

    Heroin use is not cool. He may think it's neat because all his band heroes do it.

    But unless you want to hold his head while he vomits nonstop or wake up next to a

    corpse - stick with the fella whose only vices are coffee and cigarettes.

    If your boyfriend takes up residence in the studio, be prepared: many a

    relationship gets shoved into the tar pits because either he can't handle the

    pressure of both a relationship and a record, or you'll get frustrated because he

    knows how to use a mixing board but somehow forgets how to operate a phone.

    Personally, I think if your relationship survives the studio stage, it'll survive

    through anything. Of course, I've never passed this stage.

    Get a life. Have other interests besides watching him practice his new song in

    his bedroom twenty times. You don't need to be around him 24-7, and he'll be glad

    to have the space. This tip holds true for any kind of boyfriend.

    All contents copyright © 1996-2006 by Bonnie Burton. DISCLAIMER: By the way,

    these tips aren't meant to upset the actual punkers, stoners, musicians, ravers,

    goths and other types who visit Grrl.com. Sure not all musicians care more about

    their guitars than their girlfriends, and not all stoners eat tons of Ho-Hos, and

    not all goths wear black eyeliner, and not all ravers take E. But that's not the

    point. THIS IS IN JEST AND GOOD FUN. Learn to laugh at yourself a little. After

    all, not only have I dated all these stereotypes, but at different points of my

    life I was each of these stereotyoes myself -- except for the Redneck, that is.

    And discuss....

  13. Hey y'all!!

    in Soundboard

    Posted

    I figured I've lived here for over a month now, so I decided it was time to join the community..

    Fucking hippies are always late! Welcome to the board, you're gonna be just fine as long as you don't feed the animals. Watch out for Kung (but Zero's cool) and Lazlo is not to be taken seriously or with food. If you talk about one topic too much you are going to get relegated to your own forum. It's like being in Jambands.ca exile. And as for me, I am an enigma wrapped in a riddle surrounded in mystery. Or maybe I just lie a lot. Only time will tell.

×
×
  • Create New...