Davey Boy 2.0

23 pounds after the grump I took this morning

no but he's got others he can share with you i particularly like the one entitled, "Tracht Prügel"

...maybe he's retired though, dunno

I heard that he's now a reptilian

Are those quotes from the Ottawa Sun?

Verily, Verily, I say unto you dumb twats, he that believeth in me, the works that I do, shall he do also: and Greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father. If ye dumb twats shall ask anything in my name I will deal with it.

you should've crushed him with your thumb

A New Zealand truck driver who fell on a compressed air hose that pierced his buttock has survived being blown up like a balloon. Steven McCormack had fallen between the cab and the trailer of his truck, breaking the air hose. The nozzle pierced his buttock and began pumping air into his body, which expanded dramatically. As he screamed, Mr McCormack's colleagues turned the air off and laid him on his side, saving his life. The accident happened at Opotiki on the North Island on Saturday. Mr McCormack, who is 48, is still in hospital in the nearest town, Whakatane. He said that doctors had told him they were surprised that his skin had not burst, as the compressed air - pumping into his body at 100lb/sq in - had separated fat from muscle. "I felt the air rush into my body and I felt like it was going to explode from my foot. "I was blowing up like a football... it felt like I had the bends, like in diving. I had no choice but just to lay there, blowing up like a balloon," he told the local newspaper, the Whakatane Beacon. He said his skin feels "like a pork roast", hard and crackly on the outside but soft underneath. He credits his colleagues, especially Jason Wenham who put him on his side, with saving his life. Mr Wenham, Ross Hustler and Robbie Petersen had lifted Mr McCormack off the brass nozzle which was still stuck in his body, and packed ice around his swollen neck until an ambulance arrived. Doctors inserted a tube into his lungs to drain the fluid and cleared the wound in his buttock using what felt to him like a drill. "That was the most painful part," he said. "It's fair to say he's lucky to be alive, it was a potentially life-threatening situation," a hospital spokeswoman told AFP on Wednesday. Mr McCormack confided that the air was gradually escaping his body in the way that air usually does.

sounds mostly harmless

just add jenkam

Two builders go into the pub after a hard day's work. They're sitting drinking for a while when a very smartly dressed man walks in and orders a drink. The two began to speculate about what the man did for a living. "I'll bet he's an accountant." said the first builder. "Looks more like a stockbroker to me." argued the second. They continued to debate the subject for a good while until eventually the first builder needed to use the toilet. On walking in, he saw the smartly dressed man standing at a urinal. "Excuse me, but me and my friend have been arguing over what a smartly dressed fella like you does for a living?" the builder said to the man. Smiling the man replied, "I'm a logical scientist." "A what?" asked the builder. "Let me explain" the man continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?" A bit puzzled, but intrigued the builder decided to play along, "Yes, I do as it happens." "Well then it's logical to assume that you either keep it in a bowl or a pond. Which is it?" "A pond" the builder replied. "Well then it's logical to assume that you have a large garden." The builder nodded his agreement. So the man continued, "which means it's logical to assume you have a large house." "I have a 6 bedroom house that I built myself." the builder said proudly. "Given that you have such a large house, it's logical to assume that you are married..." The builder nodded again, "Yes, I'm married and we have three children." "Then it's logical to assume that you have a healthy sex life." "Five nights a week!" the builder boasted. The man smiled a little, "Therefore it's logical to assume you don't masturbate often." "Never!" the builder exclaimed. "Well there you have it" the man explained, "That's logical science at work. From finding out that you have a goldfish, I've discovered the size of your garden, all about your house, your family and your sex life!" The builder left, very impressed by the man's talents. On returning to the bar the other builder asked, "I see that smart guy was in there, did you find out what he does?" "Yeah," replied the first, "He's a logical scientist. "A what?" the puzzled second builder asked. "Let me explain" the first builder continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?" "No" replied his friend. "Well, you're a wanker then!"

http://www.vintageccm.com/content/books

Interesting article here.

Be careful if Fluffhead invites you for a stroll in the garden afterward

is that Eastern Standard Time or Eastern Crazy Time?

::oinks nervously::

I heard that if you enter that code into your crock pot it'll either make the best lasagna ever or a big vat of dimethyltryptamine

I've heard people use those exact same adjectives to describe ollie

::nods slowly::

they do bring the ruckus

Halcyon daze :chug: :surprise: :chug:

i'm gonna be an extreme mess in about 10 hours 23 minutes

aha~ taking it easy on a thurs night i see

::bites virtual tongue::