Patchoulia

I am sooo psyched...out of this deep freeze and into a hot pile of music! Yeah! Oh, and: WidespreadmothfuckingPanic, baby!!!

Most people who live in climates like Winnipeg carry an extra key so they can leave the car running when it's extremely cold and yet still lock the doors.

I've seen these guys soo many times...was never really a fan since I couldn't get past Reid's voice, which just annoyed me. But lately I've been really diggin' them. I found myself singing one of their songs that has been in heavy rotation on Sirius and was shocked! Great band, for sure.

My secret shame(s): I used to like Roxette. I used to do synchronized swimming. I still like Hanson. Mmmmmm Bop!

Happy, happy birthday Trevor (the sauciest dude with the sauciest sunglasses..)

I have a lumpy head! (please sing to the tune of Carini..thanks...

I will be funkin' it up both nights..no prom dresses, just funky sparkly pants and sequined hats...

Dear Bob, Congratulations!! I am soo happy for you both and I can't wait to meet your Mrs.! Love, Julia

Old school colognes such as Old Spice and English Leather are excellent for masking the smell of alcohol. They are so effective it makes me suspect they were created by our hard-drinking great-grandfathers expressly for that purpose.

Why Drink on the Job? Because most jobs suck. If you love your job, if the workday just flies by and you have to be dragged away from your desk at the end of the day, you don’t need alcohol. You need a psychiatrist. If you dread going to work, if the workday drags along like a crippled slug crawling across sandpaper, if clocking out feels like a jail door springing open, then a little booze can go a long way toward making a nightmarish death march of a shift seem a hop, skip and sip through a field of flowers. You may wonder if you can actually perform your job while drinking, which is a ridiculous notion. Jackie Gleason threw together one of the greatest feats of television history (The Honeymooners) while fully in the bag. Alfred Hitchcock directed some of the finest movies ever committed to celluloid in between champagne breakfasts and gin-soaked lunches. So did Orson Welles. A prominent biographer estimates that Sir Winston Churchill spent the entirety of World War Two with a measurable amount of alcohol in his bloodstream. And if Sir Winston could survive the Blitz, rally a reeling nation and eventually whip up on millions of Nazis, surely you can throw together a spreadsheet by Friday. The best reason for drinking on the job arrives with the realization that a quarter of our adult lives is ritualistically sacrificed to the cruel tyrant known as Working for a Living. For most of us, it’s something we have to do, but would rather not. Drinking, on the other hand, is something we choose to do, and would like to do more of. So why not invade that which we don’t like to do with that we very much like to do? Indeed, why not have the good times, for once, spill over into the bad. Eh, sir?

Homer: Hello, Marge. Hello, Bart. How are the tennis partners? Marge: Oh, Homer, I'm sorry to hurt your feelings. [hugs Homer] Homer: [pushing her away] Don't touch me. Your hands feel like salad tongs. Marge: I just wanted to win for once. Please don't take it as a threat to your manhood. Homer: [gasps] My manhood! I never thought of that! Bart: We were good, Dad. They asked us to play in the Krusty Klassic. Marge: It's for charity. It benefits victims of balcony collapse. Bart: We can wipe out BC in our lifetime. Homer: I don't care about BC. I care about M. E. -- My Enjoyment!

Dr. Nick: Hi everybody! Homer & Bart: Hi Doctor Nick! Nick: Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology. Homer: [pensive] Of course. Nick: [points to a chart] You'll want to focus on the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic! Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, Doctor? Nick: Well...be creative.Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use poptarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon, heh... Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes! Dr. Nick: Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too? And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain. Bye bye, everybody!

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man...which makes me the woman. I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear (which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing).

But, on the plus side, I knocked over the Sunsphere...and crushed a new car, too!!

Please conduct yourself accordingly.

Question: Has anyone ever seen Punk wear pants?

Marge: It's almost lunch time. Do you know where your brother is tutoring? Lisa: Pfft. Tutoring? The only thing Bart's teaching is guerilla combat in Shelbyville. Marge: Well, do you have a number where we can reach him? Lisa: No, Mom, Bart and some kids ran off to wage war on Shelbyville! Marge: [gasps] Homer! Come quick! Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!

Jebus, that blows. Hope she heals quickly and the jackass in the car gets hit with karmic retribution.

If those were really IKEA instructions, they'd throw in an extra dick or 2, just to confuse you.

Well, yes, that was the point of the preamble "appropos of nothing"... I did a Google images search for "chickens" for someone at work and THIS was in the FIRST ROW of hits! What the hell? It IS so stupid...so stupid I had to share!

Apropos of nothing... Chicken Knickers!

I got back to my office @ 11:50 am after picking up some stuff on Cumberland (right beside Sassafraz)...some of my co-workers questioned the timing of the fire and my proximity to the restaurant, knowing how much I enjoy a fireman or two..but I had NOTHING to do with it!

Happy Birthday, my friend!! Let me know when we're awake at the same time so I can take you out for dinner to celebrate.. Love you! Julia

Have a fabulous day, William!! Celebrate in style (I have faith that you Will!)