arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 You can change -your own- bad habits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 I once had a roommate addicted to porn - he owed me over $1000 in phone bills and express view! I changed him for the time I lived with him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 It comes down to respect for a person. Everything was in my name - he owed me money - that's not right Go ahead and masturbate if you have the money to pay for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Unfortunately - these kids that can't pick up after themselves, probably had mommy and daddy do everything for them. Kinda feel sorry for them in that way. They'll grow up someday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Go ahead and masturbate if you have the money to pay for it. Damn. I need a second job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Go ahead and masturbate if you have the money to pay for it. Now theres a signature quote. :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Greg - can I borrow $20? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 No I am saying that people need to be responsible for their own actions. At the same time when you move into a house with other people you need to respect each others space. It is stated in our lease that the kitchen and bathroom have to be cleaned every second week (for one day) for the maids. I do not really care how clean the place is the rest of the time. I do however care once every 2 weeks. Sure, and that's reasonable enough. And people can be dense sometimes, so you need to tell them when something is bothering you. However, some people are just slobs and they don't understand why that's a problem, or they don't care. At that point, you either have to remove yourself or take responsibility for cleaning up. I'm glad your situation didn't come to that. As for the gender thing, I didn't specify who is doing what to whom. Women can be slobs, too. (Ever cleaned up after strippers? Yuck.) Me, I'm not taking the rap for the foibles of an entire gender. Besides, maybe the man in your equation is a great housemate otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottieking Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Confessions on being the former dirty roomate As my sister can attest, I've never been one for complete order and cleanliness. Even in my older age I still subscribe to some bad former habits but nowhere to point that it was when I was 20-23yrs. I was your roomates. I was ballsy enough to pull this behavior in both houses that involved all females, all males and even the fair mix. Constant lectures, dishes in the bed, yelling, ignoring all lead to one simple fact. I could not be changed. Here's what you have to understand. Some people's tolerance for uncleanliness is higher than others. At the end of the day, no matter how much you yell, they will still see the mess and think, no problem there. I now know that a)it is tied into a larger problem I have with procrastination b)it is selfish to not consider other's levels of toleration in a co-habitation situatiuon (hey, check out my alliteration) True be told, understand that they are 18-20 and the universe does revolve around them. This war will only be won if and when a)they come to their senses b)you except that fact that it just can't be changed and so you may have to. just my2sense... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 I once had a roommate addicted to porn - he owed me over $1000 in phone bills and express view! I changed him for the time I lived with him! Sounds to me like you took control and responsibility by cutting him off temporarily. Here's a more extreme example: Let's say a pedophile is put in jail for five years. There are no children in jail. Does that mean he's "changed" while he's in jail? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 I am not making sweeping generalizations about men and women. Yeah, you did. It is a fact however that a large percentage of women in Canada have the double duty of working outside the home while also doing most of the work inside of the home. ... which is sweeping and general. Thankfully this is changing. The attitude that you can't influence someone else to respect your space is rediculous. Ah, but that's not what I said. And finally, given that gender is one of my areas of research, ... and disinfecting is a necessity of mine ... I highly doupt that I am blaming you for the "foibles of an entire gender." Give me a break. Then why play the gender card? I didn't bring it up, nor did I see it as relevant to the problem of slobby housemates. Obviously you saw it as relevant to the situation, and I'm wondering why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Post deleted by arcane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 But what if the pedophile kept a clean, tidy cell? Does that make a difference? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 I'm curious about the time you spent cleaning up after strippers. What kinda job was that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 What the heck does that have to do with this thread? Because pedophiles are never totally cured while they are in jail, we cant make people clean up after themselves or get them to pay you the money they owe? Removing the ability only suppresses the problem. Reinstate the ability, and you risk that the problem will return. In either case, someone else is taking responsibility for supressing the problem by caging it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 I'm curious about the time you spent cleaning up after strippers. What kinda job was that? Housekeeper in a motel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_sniffer_ Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Ok, this thread has gone from Sugarmegs asking for advice on how to deal with messy roommates to Arcane's militant verbal crusade against the rights of creating a cohesive agreement with roommates for maintaining proper sanitary conditions. I don't know about the rest of you, but if my roommates were messy, they would hear it from me, and I would expect them to acknowledge my problem despite Arcane's dismissal of this approach as being too draconian. You obviously fit the messy roommate profile Arcane, or you have some other deep repressed feelings on the topic. Either way, having you as a roommate must suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Yes - Scottieking was the master of MESSY - It's funny cause mom was usually really good about having us clean up for ourselves. But we always seemed to find those 10 chip bags stuffed into the couch, and his room was a nightmare! Yes he has gotten better - but it doesn't help that his girlfriend is a clean freak....I think he still gets off the hook a bit!!! Thanks for confessing Scottie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Sweeping and general would be saying: all men are messy, or all women are messy. Statistically speaking most women have a double duty. Saying "attitudes like this lead to that" is sweeping. Your example is one of stereotype--that's somewhat beyond "sweeping." Statistics can be used to create sweeping statements by taking a large, complex group and distilling it to a small set of generalizations and broadly representative conclusions. They ignore or discard individual elements of the group. Too often, stats can also overlook mitigating factors in a set of source data, or confuse correlation with causality (the conclusion that storks bring babies is the classic example). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamilton Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Scottie, were you Sunshine's roommate with the porn addiction, too? ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Ok, this thread has gone from Sugarmegs asking for advice on how to deal with messy roommates to Arcane's militant verbal crusade against the rights of creating a cohesive agreement with roommates for maintaining proper sanitary conditions. I don't know about the rest of you, but if my roommates were messy, they would hear it from me, and I would expect them to acknowledge my problem despite Arcane's dismissal of this approach as being too draconian. You obviously fit the messy roommate profile Arcane, or you have some other deep repressed feelings on the topic. Either way, having you as a roommate must suck. And your evidence is ... ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 C'mon now! Don't put vision's into sweet little innocent sister's head!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 SugarMegs - when it comes to your kitchen sink - do you have one of those Wash Brushes instead of a dishcloth? Show the boys how easy it is to just grab the brush (already soap filled), and give that one plate and cup a quick swipe - toss it on the drying board - and away they go. Dishes don't have to be that hard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamilton Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Arcane, isn't there a difference between trying to force someone to change, and trying to encourage someone to change? Certainly, no one changes their habits unless they want to, but if SugarMegs ignores her own frustration, *nothing* will change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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