arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Wow this thread is hillarious :: Yep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Arcane, isn't there a difference between trying to force someone to change, and trying to encourage someone to change? Certainly, no one changes their habits unless they want to, but if SugarMegs ignores her own frustration, *nothing* will change. A careful re-reading of my posts should show that I'm in complete agreement with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Suggestions: Get a wash brush (instead of dishcloth) Always have Drain board set up Only have enough dishes and glasses in the cupboard for a days worth of meals (instead of having 15 plates, and 15 cups) have one cup per person etc. Post a friendly reminder by the sink (kinda childish, but may work) - "For Respect of others -- please do your dishes" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 [color:"purple"] Perhaps I should renounce sociology and anthropology and just ask YOU what is Truth. In that world men and women apparently have equality in the home. I get it now...I get it I suggest that you re-read what I actually wrote before you try to explain to me how you concluded what my world looks like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Im going home Donny Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 sounds to me like your roommates are insensitive, self centered baffoons...who surely are capable of changing but are choosing not to do so. Why don't you just find another place to live with roommates that give a sh!t about those they live with? ....and hey why are so many of you jumping on Arcanes back.....weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy_Milbury_Esq Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 TEN STEPS IN RESOLVING CONFLICT 1. Get everyone together involved in the conflict. 2. Each roommate should take a turn describing his/her perception of the situation, how he or she feels about it and what he/she wants. 3. Together, come to an agreement on what the conflict is. 4. Everyone should agree to be willing to compromise something to come up with a solution. 5. Together, describe a situation which would be a compromise among yourselves. 6. Come to an agreement on the described situation. 7. Talk about what changes will be needed to bring about the acceptable situation. 8. Together, make a plan of action which will help achieve the desired new situation and set a time frame for these changes. 9. Make a commitment to make the necessary changes. 10. Set a future date to evaluate the situation and to re-negotiate any differences if necessary. These steps sound very simple but to make them work you need to know how to fight fair. The key to successful dispute resolution is effective communication. To resolve conflict, communicate with each other on a one-to-one equal basis and avoid behavior that will break down communication. GROUND RULES OF SUCCESSFUL DISPUTE RESOLUTION 1. Start right. Set a time to discuss the conflict that is convenient to everyone involved. Avoid bringing up the problem when your roommate is walking out the door on the way to a mid-term exam. A better approach would be, "We need to talk about what is going on. When do you have time to work this out?" Schedule enough time so you will be able to prevent time pressure. 2. Remember that everyone involved is an equal and should have equal rights to be heard in the discussion. To create a sense of equality, you may wish to meet at a neutral place. It may help to have everyone sit on the floor or at a table (all at the same level). 3. Set aside your desire to "Win." Winning an argument is not the same as succeeding in conflict resolution where, together with your roommates, you will all win over the conflict situation. 4. Each roommate should be able to talk freely about how he/she feels. Make sure that each person's ideas and feelings are clear to everyone involved. Be willing to share your feelings honestly and don't expect others to know how you feel without being told. 5. Assume each other's perspective. Ask your roommate to reverse positions, i.e., to stand in your shoes while you stand in theirs. This can sometimes be the most effective way of getting your point across and, contrariwise, understanding where your roommate is coming from. 6. Avoid blaming each other. Assessing blame often has the effect of making the other party defensive and anxious to find fault with you, widening instead of narrowing the conflict. 7. Talk about actions which can be changed rather than personalities. "You leave your books on the dining room table," can lead to a change of habit; while, "You're a lazy slob," will only lead to defensiveness and hostility. Personal attacks destroy communication of productive ideas. 8. Don't team up with one roommate against another. This creates defensiveness in the third roommate. You are all working together for a solution. 9. Don't psycho-analyze your roommate. Avoid a statement such as "Maybe you don't realize this about yourself, but...." Most people don't like the feeling of being analyzed. Instead, take responsibility for your own feelings. A better approach might be, "What you're doing makes me feel...." 10. If your roommates begin fighting unfairly, take responsibility for getting things back on the right track. You don't have to let a confrontation go from bad to worse. Help set and maintain the positive tone of the discussion by your example. 11. Don't put your roommates on the spot by insisting on an immediate response to your demands. If possible, give each other time (at least overnight) to think over a specific demand or suggested cause of action. Party On. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Suggestions: Get a wash brush (instead of dishcloth) Palmolive makes disposable cloths with dishwashing liquid right in them. They sell for about $2 for 20 (I think) at Wal-Mart. Good suggestions, Sunshine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_sniffer_ Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 And your evidence is ... ? I will hereby present the evidence of why Arcane would most likely make a sh!tty roommate based on statements she made in this very thread. Exhibit A: "The only person you can change is you. Either move out or learn to like cleaning up after them." Analysis: With this statement Arcane has clearly established that roommates opinions don't matter. Exhibit B: "So? If intelligence is a factor, why aren't you licking my boots?" Analysis: With this rather blunt statement, Arcane is displaying her superiority complex over someone she has most likely never met, and therefore has no proof to back up her bombastic claim. We can conclude that this attitude will be extended to any individual she comes in contact with. Exhibit C: "Then keep that in mind while you're cleaning up after them." Analysis: This demeaning statement's only purpose is to yet again establish hierarchy within the house, of which Arcane sees herself as out-ranking anyone who claims fault in her ways. Exhibit D: "Are you saying that you can, and should, change people to meet your standards when you live with them?" Analysis: Unwillingness to compromise or form any sort of environment which leads to cohesiveness and mutually acceptable living standards. Exhibit E: "You can change -your own- bad habits." Analysis: "fu©k you" Conclusion: Arcane would most likely make for a sh!tty roommate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 I love Jimmy Milbury. Guess he got the grass cut, had some time to make a post...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Sponge on a stick - with the liquid in the handle - $1.00 at the Dollar store (howler - just the internet arguements - no harm ment to Arcane on my part) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Sniffer, what are you qualifications as a psychologist? "Opinion" isn't evidence unless you can demonstrate expertise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy_Milbury_Esq Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Thanks Marc0, I made enough money over the summer cutting grass to buy that ten speed bike I had my eye on in may.Its a radical Peugeot AO-8. Party on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_sniffer_ Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Sniffer, what are you qualifications as a psychologist? "Opinion" isn't evidence unless you can demonstrate expertise. Why do you keep feeding me these great lines that just serve to reinforce my point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 no harm ment to Arcane on my part None taken. I haven't seen you make a personal attack on me, and you're making some good points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Don't forget your helmet, Jimmy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Im going home Donny Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Sunshine....I wasn't referring to you..I know you're the bees knees sweety)...just attempting not to single one or two jerkoffs out .....whatever I'm outa this thread. : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Why do you keep feeding me these great lines that just serve to reinforce my point? Why did you answer a question with a question instead of an answer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamH Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 I wish to hijack this spiraling thread and welcome back Mr. Jimmy Milbury Esquire, who provides both relevant advice to sanctuarians and humorous insight into his own life. And for this I say we re-classify him from Junior member too Grand Poobah. Oh, and we make him lead lawnmower for Nero. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_sniffer_ Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Why did you answer a question with a question instead of an answer? I find it amusing that you feign some sort of control in this conversation. Why can't you just answer my question rather than trying to avoid it and placing the onus on me to explain myself? Need I remind you that this whole conversation is not about me, rather about your poor inter-roommate skills? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Seconded, ahess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancingbear Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 oh lord, after 5 years of living alone...i am very broke...and i have to get a roomate..., bad timing for this thread! :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Im going home Donny Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 sniffer-you are not making a whole lot of sense. You seem more like a bully who's picked up Arcanes scent and won't get off her back for some inexplicable reason? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 My roommate is the best. He never does the dishes...anymore. He sleeps in his catbox and he shits on the floor. But he purrs, and that's good enough for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 excuse me - sniffer is the bully in this exchange?!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_sniffer_ Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Well of course I picked up on her scent. She's the one that claimed that Sugarmegs had no right to tell her roommates to clean up after themselves which I find to be completely unreasonable. I kept quiet for a while, but she just kept compounding her view until I was left with no other discourse than to challenge her on the issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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