arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 I find it amusing that you feign some sort of control in this conversation. Why can't you just answer my question rather than trying to avoid it and placing the onus on me to explain myself? I wasn't making accusations. You were.I'm not pretending to have sufficient expertise to analyze out-of-context statements and present them as valid evidence. Need I remind you that this whole conversation is not about me, rather about your poor inter-roommate skills? At which point, I should call my roommate as a witness, hmm?No, this isn't about me. It's about your apparent pretensions of a kangaroo court, which appears to me to be an attempt to put me on the defensive to support your personal attacks, which you appear to have based on conclusions "analyzed" from out-of-context statements rather than from any genuine evidence of the conclusion you're alleging to be true. In other words, you're making up stuff and trying to convince others that you're right simply by attempting to put me in a defensive position.You have no evidence of your conclusions, only your own opinions. You have provided no statement of your expertise in psychological analysis. You have provided no professional standard for the validity of your methods.If you want to play court, then consider this: In a real court, I could move to strike your statements as being as opinion presented without expert qualification. I asked for your qualifications; you failed to provide them. Such statements are not admissible in court. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 She's the one that claimed that Sugarmegs had no right to tell her roommates to clean up after themselves Please, show us the statement where I supposedly claimed anyone's rights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob_Vila Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 another very fun and engaging thread. thank you, participants. my afternoon is better for having experienced this. serious. and no... you cannot change a person, but you CAN coerce (spelling?) them. the words "clean up your fu©king laundry or i'll cut your fu©king balls off while you sleep tonight" went along way toward improving my poor cleanliness habits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_sniffer_ Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 At which point, I should call my roommate as a witness, hmm? Actually, I would like to hear his stories about living with you and your pet rat. Then we can put this whole thing to rest, because I'm pretty tired of having you push me around like I was your roommate or something. I have much better things to do with my day then sit in front of a computer and argue with someone who is uncompromising and hard-headed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 I was left with no other discourse than to challenge her on the issue. You chose to respond--nobody forced you to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Alright -- I think it's about time to go your separate ways. NO ones getting ahead here. Agree to disagree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouche Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 This deserves, the crazy thread of the day award! SugarMegs, you could opt. for a non-heady solution... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Just as you chose to respond to the question at hand, arcane. It's a DISCUSSION board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy_Milbury_Esq Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Marc0, I always obey proper road saftey while riding my bicycle.My brother thought he was cool the other day and tried to ride with no hands,he wiped out huge!But he was wearing his helmet and only sustained minor brusies and scrapes.I told him thats why handle bars were designed for two hands!!Hahahaha. Rock out! I wish to hijack this spiraling thread and welcome back Mr. Jimmy Milbury Esquire, who provides both relevant advice to sanctuarians and humorous insight into his own life. And for this I say we re-classify him from Junior member too Grand Poobah. Oh, and we make him lead lawnmower for Nero. Wow,big thanks for the welcome back and nomination for re-classification to Grand Poobah ahess6488,ack,ack a-dak :: School keeps me really busy so I'm not around alot.But I like to offer some helpful words here and there when I can,to which a big thanks goes to Anthony Robins for his powerful words and driving motivational skills that have assisted me in being a more positive person.I doubt my dad would let me take the John Deere off the property for a nero show though. Party on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PalacePrincess Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 just serve to reinforce my point? ummmm, no, actually they don't at all. your "evidence" doesn't even prove your point. at ALL. i think arcane has just lived with enough roommates in her time to know the score. she's speaking frankly. and she's right. which is precisely why you're not going to find a viable solution to sugarmegs' problem, here in this thread, or anywhere. (sorry, sugarmegs ) velvet hit it on the head -- roommates suck. it doesn't matter how nice your roommates are or how much you like them, you're not just living with them, you're living with their entire lifestyle. the bottom line is you either learn to live with the differences in lifestyle, or you move out. yes, that sucks. and yes, that's a pessimistic answer. but it's also the truth. she's not going to be able to permanently change her roommates slovenly habits any more than they'll be able to change her tidy ones. sure, that would be awesome if they pay attention to her concerns and try to compromise and improve their habits. and i hope they do. but chances are this is going to pop up again down the road. so i think all arcane was doing was getting right down to the end of what is unfortunately sure to be a lengthy battle with a lot of frustration experienced by everyone in the household (especially you sugarmegs!). of course, that's not to say you shouldn't try and improve things. have a household meeting. let your roommates know your concerns, and throw a bit of guilt in there too. let them know you aren't trying to boss them around, but you feel this is disrespectful to you, and it's not fair that your only options are to either clean up after them, or live in their mess. be as calm and non-bitchy as you can -- it's way too easy to have things turn into a full on roommate war. and if they're going to try and improve their cleaning habits out of respect for you, and not because you're pissed off at them, they'll probably try harder than if you just laid down the law with them. how many people are living in the house? why don't you all pitch in a few bucks & get a second hand dishwasher? you can even get one of the portable ones that hooks up to the sink so you don't have to actually install it. and your landlord may even let you take the cost of it out of rent if you talk it over with him first (after all, it's an improvement to the house). if anything, it'll keep the dirty dishes hidden so you don't have to look at them all the time. and you can take turns unloading it. yeah, sorry megs. i hope things work out for you. if these kids are 18-20, they've probably never lived on their own before, so hopefully things will settle down and improve in a few months when they realize mom isn't coming along to pick up after them anymore! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradm Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Cavern! OK, now that that's out of the way, continue as you were... Aloha, Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Actually, I would like to hear his stories about living with you and your pet rat. Then we can put this whole thing to rest, because I'm pretty tired of having you push me around like I was your roommate or something. And what did I allegedly do to push you around? And what evidence do you have that I allegedly push around my roommate? Not your analysis, but actual facts. Your statements are verging on defamation of character, and in such a legal matter, the onus is on the accuser to prove the validity of the claim. I'm also puzzled as to what a pet has to do with anything. I have much better things to do with my day then sit in front of a computer and argue with someone who is uncompromising and hard-headed. Then do them. I must admit, I'm curious as to what you would see as a "compromise" to your personal attacks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Thanks, PalacePrincess. As far as I'm concerned, you've hit the nail on the head. My impression of the original issue was the problem had been raised and nothing had changed. If that was incorrect, so be it. It is my experience that when you're committed to staying in a situation, sometimes you have to take on things you don't like to do. The risk is--as Sunshine illuminated --that if you do that, the expectations can get out of control. People can and do change themselves if they feel they have sufficient reason, but it has to be their own reason, not someone else's. Otherwise, it comes across as control. When it comes to that, the problem persists and the bad feelings get worse. Sometimes it's better to agree to disagree and part as friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamH Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Dear Jimmy, When you DO have a spare moment please contribute where you can. Dear MarcO, You're my new best friend. Wanna hold hands? Dear Sugarmegs and Arcane, Roommates are tough. Dear Brad, Are you taping this show? Dear myself, I think you're great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamH Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Did I mention that the roommate left the poo rag hanging in the shower stall? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 excellent!!! May the force be with you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Irony or not, take it where you can get it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Roommates are tough. Not if you soak them in enough papaya extract. Preferably in a hot tub. In Rio. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 ahess6488 - sure, why not? I'm sensitive too. It can't be worse than what Booche wants to do to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_sniffer_ Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 I must admit, I'm curious as to what you would see as a "compromise" to your personal attacks. Well maybe meet me half-way and admit that you were perhaps overly harsh with your statements that roommates should not be able to negotiate with other roommates over living conditions within the house. I agree that you can't change a person, however, as part of the household, there needs to be a certain order, and therefore compromises need to be made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Well maybe meet me half-way and admit that you were perhaps overly harsh with your statements that roommates should not be able to negotiate with other roommates over living conditions within the house. One problem: I never said that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PalacePrincess Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 the funniest part of this thread is either the parts where people are arguing what you're saying without actually reading (or maybe just comprehending) your post(s), or the parts where they don't get your jokes. i haven't decided which yet. :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamH Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 I banish sniffer to the poo rag! MarcO - 5:00pm behind Fabricland. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_sniffer_ Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 One problem: I never said that. You inferred it with your posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted October 5, 2004 Report Share Posted October 5, 2004 Nope. You inferred it, but I didn't imply it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now