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Just intercepted a PM between Hal and New Rider


Booche

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So being a moderator has its privileges after all. Check out this private message between Hal and NewRider. Its been going on for a couple of days and is facking outstanding!

NewRider: yo dude, it’s taco tuesday at Fionn Mccolls, that sh!tty irish pub, they have great tacos, let’s get some beers later

Hal: no can do amigo

NewRider: por que?

Hal: got a spa appointment

NewRider: of the happy ending variety?

Hal: sort of, yes

Hal: the appointment is at my house

NewRider: you hired a masseuse?

Hal: nope

Hal: this is a one-man job

NewRider: haha, sounds like a gentleman’s spa treatment

Hal: indeed

Hal: it goes something like this:

Hal: as soon as i get home

Hal: I fire up the internet

Hal: beatoff

Hal: after soiling myself i head to the bathroom

Hal: but not before cranking up the tunes on the ol’ hi fi

Hal:some zz top perhaps

Hal: tres hombres

NewRider: naturally

Hal: I take a long and satisfying deuce

Hal: then — light as a feather and drained of all pesky secksual urges — it’s off to the shower with a beer in hand and a long soak on the horizon

Hal: voila

Hal: a gentleman has recharged his engines

NewRider: god, that sounds awesome. an urban vacation no less. The glow of internetporn is better than those smelly candles and the ZZ top is much more soothing than the Enya they play at the non-gentleman spas

Hal: exactly. i wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those dens of ill repute.

NewRider: you are like a new man, ready to face the challenges of the unemployed non-work week

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Sorry to intercept this love-connection, but I thought I should tell you all that the PM interception is not at all fabricated. That is exactly what Hal does every day after work, except he forgot to add the part about how he makes me dress up as Billy Gibbons and wash his back for him. Some nights I have to be Dusty Hill, those are only special times though.

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