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I feel strung out

SaggyBalls

By SaggyBalls
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SaggyBalls Newbie

SaggyBalls

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So I leave tomorrow for Vancouver from a nice long trip back home for Thanksgiving. I've been thinking bout how I've been feeling this trip and then looking back to the arthquake thread I have to try to make some sort of connection.

I am now surrounded by television. I get zoned into the internet. I went from my happy world of moving forward out west to having my senses overstimulated and I apologize if I took it out on any of your sensibilities. It's going to be really strange to readapt to a regular routine when I rid my life of routine for 2 weeks.

Even after crazed parties and chemical fun I never felt like this...

television, caffiene, and a total change of routine and eating habits. shit.

Now, i've always been sensitive of sounds and radiation...I even stopped using a microwave

I remember when i was living at home and going to college at algonquin - Mom would leave the television on with no video and not notice the ear piercing screech of a idle television...it actually made me physically angry to get home and hear that.

now i must ask...do LCD screens give off similar electromagnetic radiation to cathode ray monitors?

I'll be saving up for a new iMac in the coming months and really hope I won't have too much to be sensitive about when the time comes.

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Deeps Newbie

Deeps

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Don't sweat the earthquake post I guess too much. Seems that you're reflecting on it alright and asking yourself some decent questions.

Agreed that getting sucked into a TV or PC can change a lot in a person even in a short time.

I go buggy when I go to my Dad's and it's CNN all day. I end up feeling out of sorts and don't act myself. I get pretty negative and incompassionate afer a while too....it's like I've been re-sensitized by not having cable and then getting back into it with my gaurd down kinda effects more than it used to.

I sit in front of a PC ALL day @ work too and it srews my social life up somewhat. I can feel drained from talking to virtual people all day sometimes and thus can't relate to the one's with a pulse for an hour or 2 after work.

Ahhhh the modern era ;-)

No worries Beats and sorry to kick you when you were down yesterday.

Peace.

Steve (yeah I have a real name and everything)

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AdamH Newbie

AdamH

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the best thing to do would be to get on some serious drugs in you (maybe robotrip)and forget everything you just said.

New quote Pops, thanks!

CB I know that you like to stir controversy but in doing so you make people think you're a prick which I'm sure you aren't.

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Birdy Newbie

Birdy

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It sounds as though you've tried pretty hard to remove yourself from a culture, and then threw yourself back in head first.

go back to van.. recoupe.. breathe... your realism seems to be too much. drop it back a notch so you can still function in the world you detest so much. then you'll be okay.

just remember if you live your life learning from the mistakes of others, you're not living your life. the same can be said for mankind vs. mother earth. one day, eventually we'll learn. patience, my friend.

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SaggyBalls Newbie

SaggyBalls

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Mental health? I'd say more wellness. I've got a lot to sort out for myself. this trip's given me a lot of perspective and confused the hell out of me.

thanks though, MarcO - I'm a pretty sensitive guy when it comes down to it, on a bunch of different levels. One of which, unfortunately is radiation.

I definitely think a lot, but too much? I sort of agree but it's more the issue of focus and using my powers for good.

I generally don't think about the things I post genuinely affecting people to think I'm a prick but sometimes I forget that some people tie real life into freedom of online speech. I think 'it's a forum - I'm speaking my mind and maybe i'll get people thinking and reacting differently' and forget that most people meet me and say 'YOU'RE canned beats???' or 'oh!!! you're CB...this is interesting'...

well to be honest, most people say 'hi rob nice to meet you my name is _________' but if it's a skank it's 'oh really?'

unless it's a REAL skank and that glimmer of desire flutters around the stunned look on her face.

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Super Freak Newbie

Super Freak

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Sounds to me that it is a self discipline issue not a east v. west issue. I've been to Van a few times and it's a big ass CITY, avec smog, crazy drivers and mass junkies. You just seem to be happier there and unhappy here...been there. Home is where the heart is, as cliche as it is. Home will be there(Van) to you until you are happy with all your things, no matter where you are. You can always turn the tube off, log off and say no to caffeine. Be well.

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SaggyBalls Newbie

SaggyBalls

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Thanks for the advice superfreak, but the television issue isn't because i'm sitting in front ofit watching, it's that it's ON in the house. I'ts a fairly open concept side split. 3 bedrooms, and you can see from the downstairs rec room up to the upstairs living and dining rooms through the foyer.

so unless I leave the house I'm going to deal with it.

Now that being said, I have spent more time online than in a very long time and that's definitely my choice. I've got some things to do and another week here (bus ticket fiasco) so it's going to be tricky.

wish me luck folks.

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