bONES Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 March 07, 2006 The radical gay penguin agenda must be stopped Posted 12:23 pm | Printer Friendly As a rule, I find conservative activists embrace a rather silly agenda, but they're particularly entertaining when they go after harmless children's books. In the latest example, children in Savannah, Missouri, need to be shielded from allegedly-gay penguins. A children's book about two male penguins who raise a baby penguin has been moved to the nonfiction section of two public library branches after parents complained it had homosexual undertones. The illustrated book, And Tango Makes Three, is based on a true story of two male penguins, named Roy and Silo, who adopted an abandoned egg at New York City's Central Park Zoo in the late 1990s. The book, by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson, was moved from the children's section at two Rolling Hills' Consolidated Library's branches in Savannah and St. Joseph in northwest Missouri. Two parents had expressed concerns about the book last month. Apparently, experts said these kinds of adoptions are fairly common in the penguin world, and the events in the book actually took place in real life. But the library director agreed to move the book so it would decrease the chance that the story would "blindside" readers. Who could argue with such sensible thinking? Children might learn more about penguins' social structures, which might lead them to believe unattended baby penguins would be better off with two adoptive parents than not. It's clearly a plot by the radical homosexual penguin community to poison the minds of America's youth. ludicrous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YearsAlongTheSea Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 I was a huge catalyst in the Anti-Homosexual Penguin Movement of the early millenium until someone put a towel over my head and I fell asleep. Now I'm a Parrot Abuse sympathizer. The point is, if we put a huge towel over Missouri and all the other red states, would they go to sleep and stop over-analyzing gay bird agendas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 (edited) An excellent idea! Who knew it would be so simple to stifle the voices of such wackos! We'd need a couple cubic tonnes of chloroform, and we should call Cristo and Jean-Claude immediately. I think they're the only ones with blankets large enough!!!Now...where to drag the drugged and unsuspecting states? Where'd be the best place to dump 'em??edit to add: I bet Kelly_Anne and her bunch are behind this whole thing. We can't let her know of our plans. Gawd, that chick needs to get laid!!! Edited March 9, 2006 by Guest Kelly_Anne: I'd still go away with you for a weekend and promise not to tell ANYONE ANYTHING...not even God!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YearsAlongTheSea Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Got it. I'll have distracting sex with Kelly_Anne on behalf of the 'team' while you're down yonder in middleville, with two artists, with way too much fabric and time on their hands, blanketing middle-earth.We can put the red states in the bone-dry wetlands of Iraq. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 can we please switch 'jobs' I'm really bad with "attention-to-detail" tasks...who knows what could happen? besides (and keep this under yer hat) I think Kelly_Anne is warming up to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YearsAlongTheSea Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Fine. I'll take middle-earth and (from under my hat) you get K_A and Giv'er.I'd hate to accidentally drop the red states in Harper's back yard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afro poppa Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 I was a huge catalyst in the Anti-Homosexual Penguin Movement of the early millenium until someone put a towel over my head and I fell asleep. Now I'm a Parrot Abuse sympathizer. The point is, if we put a huge towel over Missouri and all the other red states, would they go to sleep and stop over-analyzing gay bird agendas?I just spilled my soup all over my pants...hahahaha hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly-Anne Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 (edited) What you people don't understand is that this is type of pro homosexual propaganda is like a gateway drug. Get the kids early seeing positive gay images and soon they'll be down in the gay village sodomizing each other and bringing shame to their parents and disrespect to their culture. George W Bush may be seen by many as horrible human being by leftists, but he's stood up for Christian values like NOT accepting someone else's inferior morality. Like in Iraq. Did you know that they don't have a christian music television station there or an Arby's?? And for that he is a true hero and role model for youth everywhere. If we don't stand up to books like this and get them away from our youth, in 10 to 15 years, the human race will face extinction and an over burdened health care system dealing with a generation of males with various ass aliments. Not to mention all those poor women who'll be dateless and heartbroken. A woman's place is rasing children, and without dates-- how does that natural progression from lonely femminist spinster to fullfilled mommy serving her god and nation occur?And we'll look back and say "it started from a book about penquins". Edited March 9, 2006 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YearsAlongTheSea Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Hey Jeb, thanks for 'helping' your brother. Good call on 'focusing' on the christian right. I can't thank you enough for your ignorance. Would you like your blanket to be pink?No, no, we'll make it purple. Or a rainbow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phorbesie Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 ass aliments...bwah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 I had sex with a gay penguin in first year University. Doesn't make me gay though, nor a penguin, I was just experimenting, the way kids do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradm Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 I had sex with a gay penguin in first year University. Doesn't make me gay though, nor a penguin, I was just experimenting, the way kids do.I remember seeing a clip of Michael Landon on The Tonight Show (with Johnny Carson), talking about the characters on the old show, "Bonanza" (also known as "Ponderosa"). The main characters were a father, his sons (two or three, one of them played by Landon), and their servant/cook, an Oriental (male) named Hop Sing.Carson brought up, jokingly, about how none of the characters ever seemed to (successfully) have girlfriends...Landon replied, "Oh, none of was gay. Thank God Hop Sing was..."Aloha,Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YearsAlongTheSea Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 So now we're targeting Oriental Gay Butlers?Where does it end?Oh, the inhumanity of it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattm Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 I had sex with a gay penguin in first year University. Doesn't make me gay though, nor a penguin, I was just experimenting, the way kids do.hehehehe, it sure does make you gay and a penguin. Man, you really have to be homophobic to be scared of gay penguins. Also, these penguins are from a zoo, has anyone actually asked them if they're gay? They might just be good friends. Remember the movie Three Men and a Baby? Oh shit, better ban that one too. There were THREE men in that one taking care of a little one.Seriously though, the gay penguin movement seems to be getting stronger and stronger and something really should be done about it. If this is happening out in the wild then who knows who might stumble across it in their travels and be influenced. Maybe there should be open hunting season on penguins?Look, nobody enjoys shooting penguins. But if you have to shoot penguins, well, you might as well enjoy it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YearsAlongTheSea Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 I for one, can vouch for the fact that Cheney will dump a ton of money into this initiative. Hell, he might even go up to Penguinville himself and take care of business.Cheney is the Chuck Norris of the Republican Party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveThe Owl Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 (edited) You know, I really love the fact that so-called conservatives really have dirty, filthy minds. After all, think of all the time and energy they put into imagining what goes on in other people's bedrooms. Consider David Warren , for example, who not only heaps abuse on gays and lesbians, but feels it incumbent upon him to condemn "swingers".Funny how so-called conservatives preach "family values" while being the sickest bunch on the block. Funny also how they want to regulate what goes on in people's bedrooms while demanding the government keep its hands out of our pockets (maybe getting a little crowded in there, David?). Edited March 9, 2006 by Guest typos! typos! typos! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveThe Owl Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 I mean, for God's sakes. Gay? Penguins? These people should go back to playing Led Zeppelin records backwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Evil_Mouse Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 These people should go back to playing Led Zeppelin records backwards. Oh no, please, they did enough damage with that schtick too :mad: ! I vote that they just shut the hell up and leave other people alone while they sort out their own neuroses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Evil_Mouse Posted March 10, 2006 Report Share Posted March 10, 2006 You know, I really love the fact that so-called conservatives really have dirty, filthy minds. After all, think of all the time and energy they put into imagining what goes on in other people's bedrooms. The irony that even a lot of evangelicals are aware of is that their divorce rates are identical to those in the rest of the population. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveThe Owl Posted March 10, 2006 Report Share Posted March 10, 2006 I vote that they just shut the hell up and leave other people alone while they sort out their own neuroses.Bingo. I'll get the duct-tape. You get the torches. Let's have ourselves a posse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted March 10, 2006 Report Share Posted March 10, 2006 nothing so vulgar, Owl-Man...read the beginning of this thread...this will be an "artistic" silencing.....somehow methinks "cristo and jean-claude" have grudges of their own to settle with this mob! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YearsAlongTheSea Posted March 10, 2006 Report Share Posted March 10, 2006 If I have any artistic imput into this operation, and as a co-member of the brain-child commitee of this agenda, I think I do, the fabric will be velvet. Lots and lots of velvet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Evil_Mouse Posted March 10, 2006 Report Share Posted March 10, 2006 Good. Leather would just get their dander back up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YearsAlongTheSea Posted March 10, 2006 Report Share Posted March 10, 2006 Nice, I'm starting a strip club called The Velvet Dander. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bokonon Posted March 10, 2006 Report Share Posted March 10, 2006 I know a girl named Velvet who's a dancer!She has a pet penguin who acts really funny, talks with his flippers and what not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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