Can I have some change?

[Deeps]

Ohh I just figured it's alright for the cracked out moron of about 20 years of age to ask everyone on the street, so I thought I'd ask you all.

I used to give change to the homeless in this city, now I just wanna choke them.

Lovely thought isn't it?

I know I know, that kid's story is probably pretty awful and I am fortunate enough to have a job and parents that supported me and taught me right from wrong, but today I just told the little ass-hanging out punk to never ask me for money again.

He said "why?"

I said because I want you to go to school. What are you doing out here anyway?

He said "doin crack, you wanna come?" .

Troubled I am. I see this kid deteriorate more and more everyday...dunno whether to care, ignore, offer help or turn my back.

Anyone got any words of advice?

[mattm]

Here's a funny story you may have heard from Graz but I'll share with everyone.

I decided a while ago not to give money to homeless folks on the chance that they might waste it. One night I was on my way home and a guy asked me for some change. Thinking I would do a great deed I went and bought him a 12" sub. He was so grateful he threw it on the ground and replied with something on the lines of "I asked for money, not food".

That was the end of the line for me. I still feel bad for folks forced to live outside but I won't give anything either, or not to an individual.

I do, on occaision, reneg on this though. At christmas I gave a random homeless chick $20 and told her to spend it how she wanted. It was really cold outside and she was alone so if she wanted to get baked or drunk, well, it was christmas. This charity does not happen often though (maybe once a year, usually only if I'm drunk).

[tribalstar]

Okay okay...I guess I have one to add to the pile.

I think Bree and Jenny have heard about this one at the jambandfundraiser....

I was walking to Tim Hortons to get a coffee, I was listening to my mp3 player and I spotted this guy on a ten speed across the parking lot...I knew he was a money begger but I thought hey he is way over there...

Well...as I said I was listening to my mp3 player and could pertend not to hear him when he yelled "hey miss...." of course by this time he was half way across the lot and was heading straight at me he yelled "hey miss" 5 times until finally I pulled out my headphones and asked innocently "yes?" he asked me for money (duh) and when I said no he yelled "your mp3 player is a safety issue and an obstruction, I yelled at you like 5 times lady" ummm...yeah ...thanxs

Later that day in downtown kitchener....

I was walking to the market to and was talking on my cell....like obviously talking....

and this man approached me and asked me for money...

After what had happened at Tims I had had enough.

I told my friend on the other end of the phone to hold on while I stopped and yelled

"I AM ON THE FUCKING PHONE!!! LIKE FUCK GET A FUCKING JOB YOU ASSHOLE"

and then I continued on my way...

And that is all.

[Jaimoe]

There's a couple of local homeless in my neighbourhood in Riverdale (Danforth to Pape) that I give money to from time to time. One guy sells an Outreach paper in front of The Danforth Music Hall; one is a wowan that is wasting away at a rapid rate - she sits in front of the Royal Bank on Broadview at Danforth - she wouldn't hurt a fly.

I still haven't given money to the clearly drunken native that sits out front of the LCBO on the Danforth near the Music Hall, although he'll still always say to anyone who walks by: "God Bless".

It usually depends on the neighbourhood. If you give money to a homeless person near Church & Wellesley in Toronto you are a fool. Those kids are mostly crack and crystal-meth heads. Same thing with homeless in Cabbagetown.

Edited March 28, 2006 by Guest

[Im going home Donny]

I give change, buy coffees, hand out blankets...when I have the time, the money, the goods and the inclination.

When I'm lacking in funds or understanding and tolerance...I do my best to not judge people I know nothing about...walk a mile in the shoes kinda thing.

I sure as heck would never yell at someone I know nothing about to get a job....holy smokes thats pretty harsh man....and might lead to tactics such as sqeegying my window at an intersection....that I'm not a fan of at all.

I guess I am more inclined to help the old before the young which I'm not sure is fair....but just figure they might be more screwed.

[tribalstar]

I too agree that my actions were a little harsh...

I was merely saying how things occured. I too believe the statement walk a mile...etc. Anyways...homeless people are one thing...Cracked out downtown kitchener-ites begging for a fix -earing designer labels is quite another.

[Im going home Donny]

yeah sorry...I realized after I said that a thing or two...like when meth heads are changin et et...thats a whole different ballpark....and yeah like you said you were on the phone engaged, busy,et...sorry to jump on you like that...way for me to show understanding and tolerance...lol...I'll owe ya a beer one day...sound okay?

[tribalstar]

no worries...I like your ability to question things that many over look...It means you are human and....that my fiend is a comforting thought.

[tribalstar]

sorry...I meant friend...not fiend...possibly.

[Im going home Donny]

hahahaha

If we ever meet this fiend will buy ya beer.

but..when I'm old and homeless(my not so secret fear)put out some cat food for me will ya.

[thatpatguy]

a buddy of mine carries around a bag of apples and hands out apples. We.. not so much hands them out but if he gets asked for change he says "I don't have any change, but I'd be happy to give you an apple"

he doesn't get many takers.

I only give money to people "working for it" meaning buskers or squeegy kids or whatever. I don't care how down on your luck you may be, you can always do something to _earn_ money. Even if you can't afford to buy an instrument or something. Recite a poem or something.. I dunno.. Just my two cents.

Added to that, I'm just as jaded as the next guy when it comes to people looking for spare change to buy booze or drugs, I used to work in a wine shop in the market here in Ottawa.. 90% of their clients were street people buying bottles of sherry with pockets of change. I hated that job.

[Birdy]

sometimes i give money, sometimes i don't.. i suppose it just depends on my mood.

i used to live on commercial ave in vancouver, which is pretty well known for it's crazies. one day, sitting outside cafe calabria having a coffee, a guy walks up and asks us for money. after politely refusing, he yells at the top of his lungs "THANKS FOR NOTHING!!" and does a full on fucking FARMER'S NOSE BLOW ON US! talk about dis-gust-ing! weird thing is, i think after that i was more inclined to give him $$$.

[Im going home Donny]

Any Ottawa peeps see the dude at the Bronson off ramp....he looks to be about 75 but who knows mabey he's only 45...though thats hard to believe.

THAT DUDE....BREAKS my heart into multiple peices...to the point where I no longer take the Bronson exit if I have nothing to give him.

I know its frusterating to think the change you give is going towards booze and drugs but I mean...imagine your life turning into such an atroscious pile of shit before your eyes...being homed and being homeless is a suprisingly fine line....it would be really hard to view such a reality sober.

I do agree with the food giving though.

I used to give this crack head girl on Bank coffee and a muffin from Bridgehead and while I'm certain she woulda preferred cash for crack...I like to think she appreciated being offered a slice of respect...she was allways nice and I enjoyed our chats. My dog liked her too.

Yes...I have a hard time keeping my heart off my sleeve.

[Im going home Donny]

oh dudette..I lived on first east and commercial when I was 17...oh man, oh man.

The junkies who lived under our porch never harmed us but they allways frightened us to a degree.

That area is sad beans....Heels Angels running ports=messy legumes on the streets.

[Birdy]

oh shit lady.. i was at commerical/gravely.. aka shopping cart alley.. the junkies/homeless are harmless around there, but definately take some getting used to. hells angels are everywhere. i really liked living there though. all the markets and italian coffee/gelato shops.. the crazy hair dresser guy who'd cut your hair with a mask on and then vacuum any little remaining hairs from your neck. frankie at calabria. some book store that had an alarmingly large collection of king arthur books. i miss those days.. even in all their shadiness. the park! i loved that park.. i can't think of it's name. halloween on commercial got pretty out of hand....

ahh well.. back to the squeegies. speaking of.. commercial and broadway was particularly bad.

[Im going home Donny]

yeah I was going to say...that allthough it was a crazy place it was a really good crazy place too. Zero regrets about having experianced it.

Also I allways felt like...well that once I'd been seen around that I was a homey and I had the feeling homies didn't get messed with...mabey even looked out for to some degree.

My friend lived in the major gay district...can't recall the streets now? But yeah allways felt safe there too...looked out for.

Who knows mabey it was my imagination and inclination towards relating to the underdog but shit I was a naive 17 year old getting into all kinds of scenarios that woulda given my mom a heart attack and yet nothing ever happened to me.

I loved that park TOO and not remembering the name is buggin the shit outa me!

Edited March 28, 2006 by Guest

[Birdy]

grandview park... that's what it was.

all kinds of good things happened there. and i'm sure all kinds of bad things did too.

[Im going home Donny]

cheers.

ha...many a stoner,coffee buzzin hackey sack game went down for me there and mets lotsa neat peeps.

[Birdy]

yup.

[timouse]

i live in a small town with one guy downtown who looks homeless but in fact lives at a group home. when i go in to toronto or any other big gity, i am the biggest soft touch for change. the last time i was at hugh's room, i had a really eye-opening conversation with the "hugh's room homeless guy," who ironically through our whole conversation didn't once hit me up for money. i pointed out to him that he had missed an opportunity, and asked him if i could give him what change i had...

ordinarily my encounters with homeless folks aren't as convivial, and some have been full-on rude to me. i try to be decent to them, and at very least acknowledge their existence, but after a protreacted period of it i find myself frustrated and depressed by it. if i can make a bit of their day more bearable, i'm all over it, but what about all that money the government nicks from me every week? they can take more if they're going to do something socially productive with it...

in the meantime, i will probably continue to be a soft touch and hand out change like it was candy

i once saw a t-shirt that said "yes, i have lots of change, thanks for asking." maybe i need one of those

[StoneMtn]

I'm completely jaded. I rarely give out money anymore.

I especially hate when purple-haired leather-jacket wearing squeegee kids insist on cleaning my window after I vigorously shake my head to say "No". When that happens, I simply use my wiper-washer fluid and wipers. For some reason, this really makes them angry.

That said, I have been known to go into local cafes (not fast-food places) and buy take-out meals to leave next to people sleeping on the street for them to find when they wake up.

[Im going home Donny]

I tottally hear ya on the sqeegy thing...I mean cars have wipers man!

I don't want someone to dance like a monkey for me to help them out but I exspecially don't want the dance when I'm saying no, no, no monkey dance!

[edger]

See this is a perfect example of what I feel is a very "political" topic.

Again I don't see the need for this to be relocated to a separate forum...

[Hartamophone]

Personally, I give out money when I can.

Also, when friends of mine raise the "He/she is just going to spend whatever money we give him/her on booze," I often point out that many of us have been in positions where we've been nearly flat broke and have spent an inordinate percentage of what little money we had on nights out.

I'm not trying to get on to a soap box about this, but I think sometimes those who do have the opportunity to offer up some change lack a little perspective.

[StaggerLee]

I generally give what I can if asked. Usually just pocket change but occasionally I'll dish out something more if I'm feeling flush or if the spirit moves me.

I don't really have a problem giving money to people who may spend it on drugs or booze; I've even handed out drugs and booze directly on a couple of occasions. I've also bought folks food and coffee before, and a few times after eating at restaurants I had the leftovers packed in a box for someone in the street. Whatever small relief I can offer is fine by me, and in every case whatever I gave seemed appreciated. On the other hand, if some sketchy kid asks me for money and rubs me the wrong way I have no problems giving them nothing.

I also tend to also tend to be more generous with folks who do something like busk or squeegee, but I don't spend much time in cities so I've never had to deal with the overly aggressive bunch in that crowd.