Increasingly Mainstrean Headliner - Dave Matthews Band
Good headliner playing shitty latest album - Widespread Panic
Inoffensive singer-songwriter - Xavier Rudd
Out of place rapper - Snoop Dogg
90's band grasping at your fading nostalgia - The Spin Doctors
Bearded Jam Band - Further
Fat Jam Band - Allman Brothers Band
Fat Bearded Jam Band - see above.
Reunited band your friend is flipping out over - Pavement
Lead singer making bad career choice by going solo - Trey
Band that will cancel at last minute - Vampire Weekend
underage female jazz prodigy who probably shouldn't be around this many drugs - all of them
African Tribal music everyone will politely clap for - Sierra Leone Refugee Allstars
Multi-Instrumental Genre-Defying Nut Job - Keller Williams
Band from new Ipod commercial - Jet
Featuring: Band you came to see - Umphrey's McGee