Lazlo

Just when you think clubbin baby seals is bad:

Explosive Rats

When I looked at the diagram all I could think was lucky rat.

I wouldn't rain on his parade

Neither would I. Pissing on his parade would be way more effective.

Don't wear underwear to the second interview.

I thought this thread was about fun.

Yah! Yah! Hit it again. Two more times and we'll stick some fire crackers up its ass.

You think I have herpies? What do you think blew up in your mouth last time you were tossin' my salad? It wasn't a leftover pea from my lack of wiping.

He'll have to wait until I'm done.

I need a church toilet seat. Preferably from the women's washroom. But beggars can't be choosers.

Who cares about kirpans or hijabs or fuckin' burkas. Where's the legislation forcing these people to bathe.

Plutonium tastes like almonds.

I thought it was my turn to wear the cowboy hat?

Bring on the warm weather...and sweaty ass chafing.

I think Lazlo and I are going

Fuckin' right we are. Nothing makes me hotter than getting slapped around by a bunch of donut-bumpin' snatch in plaid.

This broad's always got problems. Here's a picture of Jenny pissing herself in the tickle chair on the Howard Stern Show.

Thanks everybody. I've decided to skip 29 and move right into 30 next year. On top of my grandfather passing we found out that my dog of 16 years has cancer. What's next? A green beer shortage on St. Fatties Day? Now that all my family obligations are done with, I say it's time to get super drunk like the days of yore. I'm talkin' emergency room and stitches kind of drunk. Maybe even get robbed by a couple strippers.

Thanks again evrybody, now back to being a shit.

Happy Birthday

Well, it would have been happy if I hadn't worked an 11 hour shift just to find out my grandfather had died this morning.

Fuck it!

Shit lady, his head's huge. He looks like a bobble head doll on doses. I can't believe he's even capable of keeping it off his shoulder. At least you didn't call him Jared or all the kids would be callin' him Jar Head.

That goes for all babies not just yours.

For years I was always told the Easter Bunny, and not a stork, brought me!

Either way at least you weren't conceived.

You wouldn't have time to think that if it was the case.

I know it's not what you meant, but it's practically the same thing.

So? Let's hear the good news. How many dead?

Damnit! I thought Mike was posting pictures of his junk.

You may have better luck with sulphuric acid and steel wool.

"Love Theme from 'A Star Is Born'(Evergreen)"

By: Barbara Streisand

This explains a lot.