Hal Johnson

Only because it's DJ Melbatoast's birthday do I have to share this one: In Highschool he drunkenly walked this girl home form one of his own house parties. He never returned. We found him later passed out on a lawn, with blood on his face. He was making out with the girl when he got a nose bleed, and then he passed out on the lawn. Happy Birthday DJ, I love you man!!

I left Max Lobster's house one mornig at aorund, 9:00. Was in pretty rough shape, but I had had at least a little sleep. I take my first left (im driving) and I hear "Help Me!!". I look over and there's a man sitting in the bushes, with an extra set of legs beneath him. I stop the car, get out. Apparently some homeless man tried to break into his house but he caught him red-handed, chased him down the street, punched him in the face and was now sitting on him. The homeowner was about 60 and Slavic. The bum was about 40 and drunk. The funniest part about the whole thing was that the bum kept asking me really nicely to "Get him off me" and the homeowner kept telling him to shut-up and that I was a good man and will wait until the cops arrived. So of course I waited. It was the wierdest scene ever. ONe grown man sitting in the bushes on top of another grown man. And then me, hungover as shit, just standing around. But I digress...

I've done similar things at the Spur in Wtaerloo. Had strangers pass me 4 open beers over the fence so I can take them home with me. Another time we got kicked out and our friend Nat was so pissed off she managed to fit the entire pitcher we had left in her purse.

Happy Birthday JP, miss ya buddy!!

Bwahahahaha! Awesome.

Fuck, I love hockey. I'm not sure how they do it in other sports, but the way the cup gets treated is priceless. I am always blown away by the stories.

Edited'd...F those guys!

You said you wouldn't bring that up again - at least not in a public forum! Anyway, it's one of those "should be an easy two of three but we'll make it hard and nauseating for the fans" series against the Nats this weekend. I really don't even want to watch!

Booche said it's slow around here, and he's right (sorry Schwa.) and I like attention. So here I am to regale you guys with my story of lightweighting it up last weekend. Hopefully you guys aren't above making jack asses of yourselves and will add in.... So Friday is spent camping with the friends and family. A beautiful night I might add. Beers and smokes and silly jokes, the song goes. Just perfect. The kids all go to bed, the Adults stay up till the wee hours of the morning. Saturday comes and by the afternoon Fista and I gather ourselves together enough to drive our little slugger home to stay with his grandma. We grab a sub and head back to the camp ground. It's about 4:00pm. I buy a 15 pack of bud (not my choice of beer, but the number and price are perfect) to go with whatever is left over in my cooler. We get back to the campsite and, oh man, is it a great day outside. Schwa., of Angre Booche fame, even plays a little set on the git box while the crowd soaks up the late day sun. At this point, Ive managed to down about 6 beers in about 45 minutes. No joke, at least that. So I have some rum and coke to mix things up a bit. Then back to the beers. This is when Crack towns gives me an f'n cookie. I haven't had one of these things since I was 21. Im 29. Ive avoided them for years because I know what they do to me. But, shit, here I am 8 beers and a couple of rum and cokes in on a beautiful june day and I figure, WTF, right? So I eat the fucking thing. And I drink some more. And some more. And some more. I have completely forgot about the cookie at this point, and now I feel INVINCIBLE. I keep trying my joke on anyone who will listen that cigarettes aren't the only things that hurt babies. Im not sure how well it goes over, but I laugh every time. The sun hasn't even brokern the tree line yet it HITS ME LIKE A TON OF BIRCKS. I AM going to throw up. And I am going to throw up a lot. So I make it back to my tent very quickly and efficiently. I proceed throw up a lot, as I knew I would. Only, it doesnt seem to ever stop. Why? i ask myself, why?? Oh ya, the fuckin pot cookie! Fuckin C-Towns!! I curse him a little more. Luckily, I have a pile of pillows and blankets in there and I situate myself in a way that keeps my head up. It doesn't really help though, and I keep spewing outside the tent anyway. I wake up and I see the sun is going down. Awesome, I think, i feel better too. I'll just get up and go see everyone and act like I was dropping a deuce or something. I go to my cooler and see that there is no beer left in it . I go to my Van and Fista is there. "Hey Babe, Is that the sun setting, or is it (no effing way?!?)just coming up?" "It's coming up you dolt. F off, Im trying to sleep." And that was my night. Passed out before the sun went down. ________________________ Let's hear em!

Dude, relax.

Ya, well, your still wrong in complaining about the inter-league stuff...at least according to myself, and Richard Griffen from the Toronto Star:

Because they're on the pot...

So what about the World Series then?

Downs is pussy. Who injures their big toe coming out of the box?

Kim is pretty funny, I gotts to admit. I've heard him cut off Patio Lanterns towards the end saying, "God, enough already, that song drives me crazy". He also made fun of 54-40 once by saying their music was kinda boring and then he realized why when he met and interviewed the lead singer. But that's good stuff Schwa. :thumbup:

hahaha...wicked!

I am not at all bored with it. Adds such a cool dynamic to the season. The scouting reprts ar all fugged and no one really knows who's gonna or should win. Philly is a legit contender this year and it's neat to see how the Jays will play them over a series. Florida was interesting too becase they came in a swept the Jays. Florida is "supposed" to be a crappy team. Their record isn't that bad though, and maybe it shows how tough their division actually is.

Hey, everybody deserves a birthday Have a good one brother!

Dollar dollar bills, y'all!

"Vernon Wells has 137 at-bats without a HR and has only 41 in 1,266 at-bats since signing his $126 million contract. "

Does the whole family share 1 comfort wipe?

Hey, even more fun: GWG prediction. Jordan Muthafuckin Staal, bitches.

Haha, I wouldn't be surprised by an 8-0 route by the Wings either.