Davey Boy 2.0

A woman brings eight-year-old Schwa home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Hal, her eight-year-old son. Schwa's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they're bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?" replies Hal's mother, "He's taken Hal's fucking appendix out!"

maybe Boy George could help out as part of his community service

happy birthday meggo rock and roll!

your avatar makes everything you type seem shoutingly abrasive

Little Schwa is in class one day and the teacher was talking to the students about what they wanted to be when they grew up. Little Hal went first, "My Dad is an electrician, my grandpa was an electrician. I'm going to be an electrician too." Little AD was next up, "My grandfather was a general in the army and raised me from the day I was born. I'm going to be in the army too" Little Schwa followed "I'm going to be an astronaut" The teacher waited a moment and asked "Why little Schwa, I had no idea! What makes you want to be an astronaut?" Little Schwa replied, "Well my Dad's never been in a rocket ship but every night he tells me it's time for bed coz he and Mom have some space docking to do"

Schwa walks into a high class bar wearing a dress shirt open at the collar, and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So Schwa goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie, and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot, and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in - just don't start anything."

meow!

Hahahahahaha' date=' moron. Confirmed.[/quote']

An American hunter was having very bad luck out in the woods near Kitchener, not bagging anything. After five dismal days he finally shot at a duck and saw it fall far off. He tramped through the bush and found it had landed in the back yard of a home in the middle of nowhere. He climbed over a rail fence and was about to retrieve the bird when Schwa looked out his window and saw the wet and bedraggled hunter. "What are you doing sir?" Schwa asked the hunter. "Gettin' my duck," said the Yank. "Well now I figure it's my bird, seeing as it's in my yard," says a bemused Schwa. "Oh God!" said the Yank, "I tracked over miles of awful bush, was lost, hungry, tired, soaked, you name it. I shot this bird. Can't I just take it and go?" "Wellâ€, says Schwa, who didn't like big smart Yankee hunters much, "tell you what I'll do. We'll fight for it." "Fight for it? You kiddin'?" asks the Yank. "I'll give you a sporting chance," says Schwa. Here's the rules. One of us bends over and the other kicks him in the arse, real hard. Who ever kicks the farthest gets the bird. Deal?" The Yank figures he's bigger and has a winning chance, so he agrees. "I'll go first, seeing as it's my yard," says Schwa. "Bend over, boy." The Yank complies. Schwa halls off and boots the hapless hunter, sending him face first into a manure pile. He splutters to his feet, wipes his face off, then says, hopefully, "Okay, your turn." Schwa scratches his head, contemplates, then says, "Nah… you take the bird and go, I don't like duck anyway."

Every day is like a survival Youre my lover not my rival Every day is like a survival Youre my lover not my rival Im a man without conviction Im a man who doesnt know How to sell a contradication You come and go You come and go

Bob McDonald's viewpoint

So Schwa and Hal out driving around the bad part of town, looking for a little action. They drive past a prossie holding a sign reading "2 for 1 recession special". They screech to a halt and pile the prossie into the car. "So here's how it's going to work, one of you gets it doggie the other gets to enjoy a fantastic BJ, all for $50. Who wants what?" she says Schwa. replies, "Oh I'll hold out for BJ, do we have to go pick him up?"

actually that's not the first one that's been recycled frm that thread sigh Schwa and a woman are in a lift, making eye contact every now and then. "Can I smell your pussy?" he asks. "No, you certainly cannot," she replies. "Oh, it must be your feet then"

DOH!

Little Schwa was sitting in class one day. The teacher announced that the word of the day was "contagious". She asked the class to use it in a sentence and first selected little Hal. "I had a cold last week and my Mom told me to stay home as I was contagious and she didn't want me giving it to the other kids". "Very good Halbert" says the teacher, "How about you, Little AD?" Little AD screws his face up in deep concentration "My uncle wears a mask when he walks around in public coz he doesn't want to pick up anything contagious." "Good, good", the teacher looks over at Little Schwa, "How about you, Little Schwa?" Little Schwa replies, "Last night my Mom went out to pick up dinner while my Dad sat watching the game on the couch, after waiting an hour he said, 'Where the hell's my dinner? It's taking that contagious.'"

::bites virtual tongue::

mmmmmmm fixated lesbian

[color:#cccccc]yes, yes thank you

smelled like a big white chicken

'Hope you're dragging MarcO out to this one, WWC!

... thread (note the date of the posts). Very good sports...

Haha, i was just looking through old posts to find a recipe, saw this and simply have to bump it

i'm withdrawing from this seemingly sisyphusian thread

Del was born to do drugs

of course there are differences but consider this: Iraqi war: cost so far to the US is more than half a trillion dollars. If Steve had been in place when all that went down we'd be there too. Perhaps the war isn't the sole factor for the current economic crisis but things would look a whole lot rosier if the american tax payers weren't on the hook to the tune of a couple of thousand dollars per second Add to that Steve's tendency to bend over for the Bushies and all of a sudden certain aspects of the two govts don't seem so different