snarfmaster C Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 it was brought to my attention last night that a lot of men generalize women who dig live music to be groupies. it was my understanding that groupies are girls who are drawn to band members because of their 'fame'... girls who are obsessive to a degree, and want in on the man in the band. they are attracted by the status of a rockstar more than anything. can i call them sluts? or is that too harsh. what i'm getting at is i always took it to be a condescending term. anyway, this got me thinking. i go out to see a lot of live music. i've been to see the silverhearts and the spades i don't even know how many times. i go out to see live music all the freakin time. i'm not there to check out the guys on stage - i'm there cause i dig their music. sure, maybe some of them are hotties ::, but that's not what i'm diggin on. i like to ask nice boys out on dates, boys that i've had a chance to get to know and like. (no matter that they turn me down , that's more 'who's got my wookie husband' thread material) ...i'm not hittin on a rockstar. anyway - my point is, well, i'm not sure i have a point. i'm probably still drunk. i just had my eyes opened a little wider last night - women who i'd thought were there for their love of the music and having a good time were being joked about. now, i know these women less than those who were doing the joking, so maybe i shouldn't have put so much thought into this. but one of them i see all the time and she seems like a cool girl, there for a good time... and i know that she has a 'lover' as she called him so what the hell? i figure i'm out to see these bands as often as these other women, so i guess that makes me a groupie in their eyes ?! :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 People who generalize are ignorant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aromatherapy Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 Being a huge music lover and one of the females who's out there playing in the scene as well I say just don't pay attention to talk like that. You know what you're into and dig what you dig and it shouldn't matter to others. I go out to shows to get lost in the music, to have good times with good friends and exercise my spirit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snarfmaster C Posted January 23, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 Why some people feel that it is necessary to produce demeaning pictures of women has a lot to do with relations of power. I say stay away from guys who think this way. that's it - i certainly won't be asking any of those boys out on dates. so there. Another good question - why is there such a lack of women musicians in the scene? maybe because there isn't an even split of those people who are motivated to practise because of all the hot babes they'll get when they play gigs. hehehe napoleon dynamite quote = hiLArious. :: :: good one sugarmegs! you'd better believe i want a man with great bowhunting skills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bONES Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 groupies :: ok, i had to say it or some other guy was going to i hate labels myself i'm a person gosh dangit, with varied interests! not a hippy, not a cowboy, not a buddhist or a welder i'm ME :: sunshine said it best "those who generalize are ignorant" amen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 Why some people feel that it is necessary to produce demeaning pictures of women has a lot to do with relations of power. And more than power, fear. I think some guys demean women as "groupies" because the idea of a gal totally grooving/getting off on the music (not the musicians) is somehow scary to them, cause they think (or want to think) we're there to get laid. Which, I believe is the reason alot of guys go to these shows -- so who's 'calling the kettle black'? But it is depressing to think that some guys out there are thinking this way, because I do agree that "groupie" has a demeaning '70s backstage dick-sucking connotation. Now what about the term 'band-slut' or 'band-whore' and 'skank'. I've heard/read these numerous times in posts/at shows and am wondering if I'm missing something or if these are actually intended to be as degrading as I take them to be. I'm all for 'reclaimimg language' but is this really what's going on with these terms? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guigsy Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 for the record, i always kinda hope that the girls are there for the tunes... and i think, generally, at least in this 'scene', they usually are, and its not that difficult to tell, really. around this board, though, band-whores and skanks seem to be self-proclaimed, so, im going to assume that they're not meant to be as degrading as you take them to be. band-slut, though.. thats where i draw the line. i was called a groupie band slut once. and im a guy! i didnt go off, though... i liked the drummer... *waves in glee* hi gentlemonkey!!!!! see ya next saturday!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paan Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 The band-whore names used on here are definitely more with joking affection than anything else. From what I saw, it is basically for the girlfriend of a musician. "groupie" has a demeaning '70s backstage dick-sucking connotation." - What ever happened to the good old days??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bokonon Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 band whore started as a joke between sarah mackenzie (her username is bandwhore on the board) who is ian's gf, marcia, who is ryan's gf and lex (the other lex) who is doug's gf and myself (i'm ricky's gf). we were at frontier town this past summer and someone was asking us for our money for tickets, and i said, i'm sorry, we don't pay for tickets, we're band whores. i tend to get a little mouthy when i drink two bottles of wine. :: it was the weekend before kate bracelet rock's birthday when diesel dog played up there. all night we were yelling it across the field to each other as a joke and it has stuck ever since. it's a positive monniker of affection that we use with each other. we almost use it like an elitist sorority that likes to get drunk and dance our asses off to diesel dog. we just get to go to their show for free since we are all in committed relationships with the members. edit to add: band whore= diesel dog girlfriend. we also like to call the guys diddler dogs since they're all so bloody old, and we're not me and ricky hold the record though we're twelve years apart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Bokonon, thanks for the learnin'. You're an awesome storyteller -- I can 'hear' y'all across the fields at Frontier town. "I tend to get a little mouthy when i drink two bottles of wine." Right on! Are we ever gonna get along! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 By the way Deb - welcome to the board :: thanks, Megs. Looking forward to meeeting you in Ottawer in 2 weeks (and countin'!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaimoe Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Hey Deb, are you any relation to Dave Scully? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogieknight Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 music loving ladies rule.(period) what they do after the show is their own business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark tonin Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 "Hey Deb, are you any relation to Dave Scully?" Deb is Dave's number one groupie. :: (I couldn't resist!) Peace, Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Jane Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 including all the backstage perks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaidy Mae Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Anyone seen Sarah lately?...That dirty bandwhore! I guess she's too busy with her old man in the RV. Ha ha ha. Miss ya "Crash"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamH Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 My theory on this is that more often than not it's the male lead guitarist and not just the male musicians that could explain: 1. the lack of a strong female presence at a Jammy show. 2. Women feeling uncomfortable being on their own 3. Women being labelled as sexual servants Live improvisational music in a concert setting has sexual undertones all over the place, amplified by drugs and alcohol and best exemplified in the 20 minute guitar jam. Audience response, the varied pulses and emphasis that the player takes, ultimately grounding something freeform to bring it home in a rhythmic timed conclusion...it's not unlike the birds and the bees really. The lead guitarist to me, and sometimes more than others, is just a big penis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Huxtable Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 'skank' - for some reason I though skank was a term used to mean someone on Jambands or the Sanctuary. Sorry if I have used it incorrectly in the past. The term Skank has been used on this board for several years referring to a member of the Sanctuary. In that context I am certainly proud to be a skank. In Ottawa anyway, I think women who are into the scene are regarded as equals. I've rarely felt like an inferior music fan. One time before a gig I ordered a Pepsi from the bar and when they charged me for it I asked if the band got soda for free and was told "not the groupies honey". That was pretty much the only time I was offended like that. I just got up and sang my heart out and told people not to tip the ugly fu©ker behind the bar. No big deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaidy Mae Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 I just got up and sang my heart out and told people not to tip the ugly fu©ker behind the bar. Haahaahaaahaaaahaaaaaa!!! That's awesome. What a jerk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bokonon Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 i saw sarah on saturday at reilly's in toronto (which blew for several reasons, none of which were the other bands, they were great). she was busy with ian at the delta chelsea as it's a little cold for the RV and the cost to park that thing overnight in downtown toronto is almost the same as a suite at the chelsea anyways! she should be coming to the ottawa show on feb 5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaggyBalls Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 music loving ladies rule.(period) what they do after the show is their own business. hear here, BK!! but honestly - almost all the women at jamband shows rock. love the genuine vibe i get from all you lovely ladies. I must say though, that as a single guy that plays bass, I don't notice a lot of interest just cause i'm a musician. if i did i know i'd be playing a lot more - it'd be a motivator for sure. I genuinely appreciate the 'groupie' notion. i also genuinely appreciate the ladies that would rather just party and enjoy the vibe of the night in the venue and at the afterparty... I'm just keeping in mind that groupies are always welcome at the after-afterparty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hux Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 SWEET JESUS! What an utterly fantastic decision, your judgement is impeccable - I wanna play!!! Say.......what would happen if I played like 20 intstruments at once....hmmmmm??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 http://www.maximonline.com/world_o_sex/articles/article_6038.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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