Phred Posted August 22, 2003 Report Share Posted August 22, 2003 Leave it to Beaver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gentlemonkey Posted August 22, 2003 Report Share Posted August 22, 2003 Finally, an opportunity to post these!! again these may fall under the categories of 'innappropriate' or 'false' .. be warned. MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991. LONGEST PUBES Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina. MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina. ZIT POPPING In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7 ft 1 inch. WORST DRINK The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac. MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a 'Cunt Pump'. GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial' amount of seminal fluid. He also hold the records for the greatest height (12ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph. LONGEST TURD The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who roduced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backbacon Posted August 22, 2003 Report Share Posted August 22, 2003 - Kangaroos are lactose-intolerant. - Newborn babies don't have kneecaps. I got about 1000 more of 'em... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaimoe Posted August 22, 2003 Report Share Posted August 22, 2003 Example of a giant ego: Chantal Kreviazuk named her dog after herself. The " first ever " song Chantal learned on the guitar was one she wrote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted August 22, 2003 Report Share Posted August 22, 2003 she drives me crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shitidiot Posted August 22, 2003 Report Share Posted August 22, 2003 Queen Victoria would have 2 pints of beer for brekfast. Now thats my kind of lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottieMac Posted August 22, 2003 Report Share Posted August 22, 2003 Kopi Luwak, comes from the islands of Sumatra, Java and Sulawesi which are part of the Indonesian Archipelago’s island chain. On these Indonesian islands, there's a small marsupial called the Paradoxurus. This marsupial is a tree-dwelling animal belonging to the Sibet family. Once regarded by the Indonesians as pests because they climb into the coffee trees and eat only the ripest, reddest coffee cherries. What these animals eat they must also digest and eventually excrete. Some brazen local gathered the beans, which come through the digestion process fairly intact, still wrapped in layers of the cherries' mucilage. The enzymes in the animals' stomachs, though, appear to add something unique to the coffee's flavor through fermentation. Yes the most expensive…the rarest coffee in the world is partially pre-digested and excreted by the Paradoxurus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backbacon Posted August 23, 2003 Report Share Posted August 23, 2003 Andre the Giant once finished 117 bottles of German beer in one sitting. Fish cough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shitidiot Posted August 23, 2003 Report Share Posted August 23, 2003 the best i could do is 16 creemore's, that's with out a piss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted August 23, 2003 Report Share Posted August 23, 2003 quote: Originally posted by Stoned Phillips: Step 1: Rub inside and outside of turkey with MSG. Me.... after that turkey: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del Posted August 23, 2003 Report Share Posted August 23, 2003 What a wonderful thing to wake up to Jay... funny stuff though. I find this interesting: Scientific studies conducted by Dr. Terrence McKenna and his associates discovered that psilocybin mushrooms, when ingested in small quantities, actually improve a persons hearing, eyesight and sense of smell. He produced a theory in which we all as a society derive from mushroom eaters, based on the fact that those tribes who consumed small amounts of psilocybin would have hunted better, and therefore survived better than those tribes which did not use the drug. Makes you think we're supposed to take the damn things... read more about it in the book 'Food of the Gods'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kung Posted August 23, 2003 Report Share Posted August 23, 2003 Kenny Loggins met his wife when she opened his heart and hooper as his hydrocolontherapist. (hence my clean jams for clean colons theory) Brian Wilson writes in his biography that he had a massive coiling shit once that wrapped around the bowl in a perfect soft serve pattern. So much so that he had to show everyone he could his massive achievement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Constable Posted August 23, 2003 Report Share Posted August 23, 2003 quote: Originally posted by Tungsten Gruvsten: actually that's gasoline and vaseline or dish soap - you need something with a jelly like consistency so it will stick AND burn. OJ concentrate breaks up too rapidly...in small batches like, um, 'cocktails' we'll say it's ok as the burn area is smaller... But it's better to use a more volatile fuel that burns hotter and longer for full effect. Thanks for the clarification. I was wondering why my last batch didn't more effectively burn all the fur and flesh off of the family of cats that I dosed in the stuff. I'll keep you posted when I take care of my neighbours dog if he doesn't stop his damn barking!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted August 23, 2003 Report Share Posted August 23, 2003 i like the stupid laws myself: West Virginia - No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions". and i think these two laws may have some correlation: Pennsylvania - No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife South Carolina - It is legal to beat your wife on a Sunday morning on the steps of the state house. Do you think she's getting a beating on Sunday morning because she did OR did not allow him to drink on Saturday night? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamilton Posted August 23, 2003 Report Share Posted August 23, 2003 quote: Originally posted by Jaimoe: Example of a giant ego: Chantal Kreviazuk named her dog after herself. The " first ever " song Chantal learned on the guitar was one she wrote. You mean Chantal the dog, or Chantal the woman? She (the woman) drives me crazy as well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaimoe Posted August 23, 2003 Report Share Posted August 23, 2003 Chantal named her dog Chani. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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