PalacePrincess Posted December 12, 2003 Report Share Posted December 12, 2003 yeah, yeah, yeah, littlemiss multi-thread today i know... but this was funny enough i had to share. **** At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. "I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point,and draw the line." President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex." Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bONES Posted December 12, 2003 Report Share Posted December 12, 2003 hahahahahahaaaaa... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaPink Posted December 12, 2003 Report Share Posted December 12, 2003 Nice one Palace! That was great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paisley Posted December 12, 2003 Report Share Posted December 12, 2003 "weapons of math instruction" classic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
questcequecest? Posted December 13, 2003 Report Share Posted December 13, 2003 great story B in other news: the poor are pretty much fucked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorgnor Posted December 16, 2003 Report Share Posted December 16, 2003 Bump. Witness. Amen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluffhead77 Posted December 16, 2003 Report Share Posted December 16, 2003 thath's quite hithterical!! Math Instrution...bahahahah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Huxtable Posted December 16, 2003 Report Share Posted December 16, 2003 Hahahahaha! Too funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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