badams Posted May 8, 2002 Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 I`m having a tough time getting over a certain lady. I`ve tried all kinds of things to move on with little success. This is my next attempt at finding what works. What kind of advice do you all have? If none of this works it`s off to therapy for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSloth Posted May 8, 2002 Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 Im assuming you've already tried the serious drinking, smoking tons of pot solution. If so, summer time is here and I think great shows and touring can really help with the perspective on life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h Posted May 8, 2002 Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 whores. and lots of em.[posted on behalf of treyter who was being too slow about it] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradm Posted May 8, 2002 Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 Sorry to hear about that. One tip would be to find music that matches your mood (e.g., "Since I've Been Lovin' You" by Led Zeppelin, or other angry/mournful/hurtin' blues-kind-of stuff). It'll give you the feeling that you're not alone, and by "feeling" along with the songs, allow those feelings to vent. I'd avoid "happy" music and love songs (Celine Dion is hereby contraindicated), as that might tend to remind you that you're not as happy as other people who aren't going through what you're going through. (The mood-matching music, OTOH, can act as a kind of audio support group.)Also realize that moving on takes time, and you'll have to work through your feelings (when you feel angry, or sad, go for the feeling, and experience it out). How long has it been? Maybe you just haven't waited long enough.Of course, going out and getting drunk with your friends at a good concert is always helpful...Good luck, man.Aloha, Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LJFH Posted May 8, 2002 Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 take all pictures and other gifts, clothing etc that reminds you of that person....put it away somewhere and leave it.....(cause once you are over her you may look back fondly at pics etc). Then go out and have lots of fun with friends and family. Also, run man.....that's all I can say....run until you don't feel anything but the wind rushing past and the ground under your feet. It is very liberating........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottieking Posted May 8, 2002 Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 First Step - Rye. (or booze of your choice) Second Step - Cry. (You'll feel better) Third Step - Buy. (Something that'll distract you and take your mind off shit) Fourth Step - Goodbye. (Unless you plan to start a museum, put all memoriblia far away and seriously think about what's worth holding on to) Fifth Step - Don't Try (so hard. It'll go if you let it) Sixth Step - Harry Hood. This doesn't rhyme but I dare you not to smile at the turn around.Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted May 8, 2002 Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 Spiderman and Attack of the Clones are good temporary fixes, I'm sure.How about hitting the Ports this w.e. with Booche, Sally, me and my little lady?Always a good time ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted May 8, 2002 Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 mmmmmm hoagies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treyter Posted May 8, 2002 Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 Sorry to hear it Brad. Funny how it's really only girls that can fuck with us poor guys heads. Nothing else comes close.I had been breaking up with a girl for like 3 years so i might not be the best man to give advice here but: all i have to say is what Booche always says to me...DO NOT TALK TO HER. keep busy doing other things my man. come up to ottawa and party with us Brad...u are always welcome, and it would be a blast to see u again my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted May 9, 2002 Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 Wow, Hood offered up a few words of wisdom (even though he hasnt necessarily followed them very well over the YEARS. Get it Brad? .....years for that boy)Get rid of all those stupid emails you probably read over and over looking for answers. Same goes with ICQ and all that stuff. and for heavens sake, stop talking to her. you are only prolonging the inevitable. you will only do this on your own my man, she doesnt have any answers for you......Oh yeah, acid AINT a good idea. Boy, did I take one on the chin trying that route.Booze, destroying stuff (you know, getting rid of those personal trinkets. what the hell are you going to need them for in the future?) and loose women, and booze. Go out with Mark Muller and laugh at him for a night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weezy Posted May 9, 2002 Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 what treyter said: KEEP BUSY BUSY BUSY!don't give your mind a chance to dwell on the depression thing.plus: get some paper and a pen and start writing about everything you're feeling - the more you write, the better even if it's just nonsense or run-on sentences like this one. you will feel better guaranteed.and remember, love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Huxtable Posted May 9, 2002 Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 I am going to have to agree with LJFH. When I had my heart broken I ran and ran and ran. I ran so long that it got dark and I got lost in the Gat's, I kept running after dark, tripped on a rock and sprained my ankle. That hurt more than my heart and gave me something else to think about.Grass and booze are temporary fixes. I like them both very much, but they should be used to enhance the good times, not create them. If used as a crutch, they only serve to depress you more.Writing is very healing. Write about good times, bad times, your future, your childhood, what you would do if you won millions, write about anything at all.From experience I have got to agree with everyone else here. Don't look at her and don't talk to her. Girls always want to remain friends afterwards, that rarely works even with the most amicable break-ups. It prolongs the healing process. There are certain stages that you need to go through to get over her in a healthy way. If she's around, you can't do it. Get mad or pretend she died. Death is easier to digest than a broken heart and anger is a necessary stage.Good luck to all of you out there with broken hearts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phakinit_thru Posted May 9, 2002 Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 Hmmm..u certainly got a lot of friendly advice... Let me offer some total stranger advice... If you are wallowing it it, you haven't really made the choice to move on. You see, we have to be careful about emotions...we tend to form addictions to those too, jus like B,D & SX..some people can't get enuf of high, some can't get enuf of low..that's why we look so insane. Have your experience, then move on. Life is for living, not wallowing. Unless of course you are wanting to have the experience of wallowing. Believe it or not, u have a choice about how to FEEL about a thing. Snap out of it man! You are the Master of your destiny! (Don't throw that out because it's a cheap cliche...it happens to be very, very true.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reba Posted May 9, 2002 Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 badams....phone me, we'll go for a drink and talk talk talk... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badams Posted May 9, 2002 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 Thanks for the advice everyone, I really appreciate it. There are a few of the things I have tried and some are yet to come. You know how they sya you shouldnt date your friends, roomates or co-workers. Well I bottled it all up into one person and went for it. It feels like I`ve lost my best friend. Today is a better day than most, but what really sucks is that I see her all day at work and that can make it hard. Time will take care of it I know. This is such a foreign experience for me though. I HATE IT!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSloth Posted May 9, 2002 Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 Maybe you should take a bit of a vacation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badams Posted May 9, 2002 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 Rebawill you be going out with Bouche and the gang Friday night because I think I may make an appearance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouche Posted May 9, 2002 Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 Ottawa is a good place to visit. You definately should get out of kingston for a few days. Come to Smiths Falls for a night, and I can take you to Ottawa and you can hook up with people there too. When is the last time you left downtown Kingston? Start picturing a few nights away from Kingston, and what you'd like to do.You could be finding more opportunities to meet new people (pssst GIRLS). Strip joints and Hooters don't count. They are only in it for the tips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badams Posted May 9, 2002 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 It`s something I defenitly need to do Bouche. All the women in Kingston are on to me now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reba Posted May 9, 2002 Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 i am absolutely there, and looking forward to seeing you. we can make a date for drinking on the back porch, swinging on the porch swing......clearing your mind, even if only for a couple of hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badams Posted May 9, 2002 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 sounds great Reba. I`ve been experiencing way too much sadness lately and need to cheer up a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubleB Posted May 9, 2002 Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 Nothing fucks up a tight scene like a loose bitchFreeze her ass out.... do it now!! It only get's worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h Posted May 9, 2002 Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 sheesh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Im going home Donny Posted May 9, 2002 Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 double sheesh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaybone Posted May 9, 2002 Report Share Posted May 9, 2002 Whenever i'm feelin like shit over a lady i usually just treat myself extra fine. Good food and good wine with good friends usually works. other then that just stay busy and don't let it dominate your thoughts. Going to see good music always sooths the soul as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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