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Luke Bowden for Sherriff of Wellington County and Phat City (formerly Guelp


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Here's the deal. I am officially announcing my candidacy for the Sherriff of Wellington County and Phat City (formerly Guelph) under a Freak Power Ballott initiative.

I will accept only services or goods offered in kind in order to reimburse media, security, campaign management and health professionals for my War Room.

I will be registering the Gonzo Porn Co-operative on Monday. I am one of very few Co-operative Developers in Ontario - there is no accrediation existing.

I received my education at the University of King's College and Dalhousie University as well as training as an Entrepreneurial Educator by the Centre for Entrepreneurial Education and Development. I have vetted many business plans, written many business plans, I have owned an integrated marketing communications company in Nova Scotia I have also run a variety of production enterprises. I have advanced skill sets as an Orator, Publicist, Journalist, Activist and particularly Impresario and Campaign Manager (although I have never endorsed a candidate).

It has come to my attention that Marva Wisdom, a dear friend has shockingly lost the ballott to become the next Liberal MP candidate in this riding. Frank Valeriote who is notably Italian Canadian and has very little if any credibility in the party that I know of - given that I am both a Young Liberal (or was) and a Liberal Party Insider I can say this with some assurance.

I would like to secure Marva Wisdom as a political counsel and reimburse her as such. I would like to ask Eric McKutcheon of Van Gogh's Ear to be my chief Security Consultant. I will also now endorse George Smitherman should he ever want to run for Premier or any other office as he is the only politician on the Hookers and Blow laden Queen's Park/Bay St. complex that has shown any candour about his and everyone's struggle with addiction. If Phil Allt is interested I will also reimburse him for political consultancy.

I will be asking many of my musician friends once I have constructed the election platform to do fundraising concerts to Rock The Vote and register students and particularly transient addicted persons in order to give them fair access to services they may in fact be entitled to.

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Liz,

The Harris' gov't cut the teeth out of development charges act in '97 resulting in 'limitations being place(sic) on what services could be included, restrictions on recoveries and additional rules and regulations surrounding approach and implementation'. Cost Recovery Limitations on Funding Growth Related Expenditures (service limitations, service standard restrictions, mandatory exemptions, may also require early replacement of existing assets) was a nice little bonanzo for theirs (and notably your) pro-development cronies.

With just property tax and development charges (bearing in mind there is to my understanding a 7-14 year backlog of new apt. and housing starts in terms of inventory) to pay for your crooked municipality and counties infrastructure - what does fiscal or community health even look like to you? (comment required)

The Financial Implications of Growth workshop presented by Watson and Associates Ltd. on Jan. 15, 2007 makes some further stunning revelations including shockingly that cultural institutions such as libraries and museums, not to mention festivals (Guelph is not in fact the Festival city - I literally ran the Guelph Jazz Fest for 2 years and it's little more than a glorified free lunch for some academics on the CSA, Trillium and Desjardins dime).

I think you may sense where I'm going here. Alex (forgotten his last name, Marva's older friend) once helped me understand that I was angry because I did not have a voice - he as you know believes in proportional representation as a solution. Phil Allt comforted me once that I had a 'Gramsci thing going on' - Gramsci having advocated through the Turin association the mobilization of political, cultural and economic reforms for which he was beheaded. My only strength, as with Gramsci, is in knowing that when you beat your head against the wall it is your head which breaks not the wall.

So I suggest respectfully you meet me on equal terms with a peerish respect and a fair measure of tongue in cheek. I have bit mine off. I have been assaulted by police here, falsely incarcerated in Trillium 1 (for imaging my relationship with Stephen Lewis and Avi his son), back benched and betrayed by EVERY single community 'leader' (a term I use ever so slightly), assaulted by two bouncers needlessly INCLUDING last night when I was dead sober and a coked up bartender at the Albion was emotionally disturbed. Yes, I have filed a police report.

I will be turning these matters over to the best possible litigators I can find and I do so hope that Edward Greenspan or Clayton Ruby or a hot young equivalent is available. Certainly the cut is decent. I will be making as much money as possible. Still of course fleeing your foul foul foul community but with the intention of in fact running for the honourary roll of Sherriff of Wellington County and Phat City. I can literally mobilize this city's unregistered youth and transient crack population and I will literally rock the vote. The cradle will rock Liz.

I'm sure you were once an idealist- gosh I believed that you really cared about the retarded kids under the farm porch. Too bad you are so deeply in the pockets of a Yugoslav and Italian Mafiosa cartel, whose connections to Wolfdon Park, Wolfdon, Milosevic, Papa Doc, Haiti and well the aforemementioned Tamil Tigers, Hells Angels and Asian Triads, that you can't see the woods for the trees. The reality is that in a post Commission Secret Society this is just bad Biz-A-Ness. I am not anti-organized crime. I'm anti money laundering, Soft Money and Hypocrisy.

By all means try, with your ineffectual staff to spin this however you see fit, clearly the Guelph Mercury is a hoax of a paper, TorStar and BellGlobeMedia have ruined our nation's media and I can see no other option than the following.

I am calling for your resignation Liz Sandals

I am calling for Vernon Lediett's resignation

I am calling for a complete review of the ownership of Homewood Corporation

I am calling for an estimate of the current market value of the Homewood parcel of land

I am calling for the resignation or comprehensive review of Dr. Edgardo Perez, Mr. Hamilton and Mr. David Sands of Homewood Corporation

Also Ric Amen the media relations person for Homewood is basically a very very bad spin doctor (not a resignable offense)

sincerely,

Luke Cathcart Bowden

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Pretty soon anyone with half a brain will get on this shit and make a hella lot of money. I'm going to.

Are you really all that clueless? I'm not trying to be rude. Can you read though. Get Hux to explain it. I'm out.

Arn't you the guy who was asking people on here to bring the clean socks? and complaining and being broke?

I just bought a house and 2 cars, Get a life bro, no one wants to hear, read, or see anything about you on here.

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:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:

oh my sides are aching....seriously this is some good shit!!!!

part of me wants to suggest, Luke, that you print this stuff out and save it for perusing later once your mood and/or meds stabilize**. But then, discovering what a poor writer, not to mention what a dickass-skeet-sucker rude ass you've been to people, will be a hard pill to swallow indeed!

Dontcha think you'd just be happier if you didn't bother with any of us on here anymore? Follow your instinct to leave us all wallowing in this pathetic, faded, useless community we've created on here.

**and that's the goal, isn't it Luke...to feel at peace with yourself and stop the need to chase external validation.

Edited by Guest
because it's really not in me to be mean spirited
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Fuck.

Luke, really, I try to tease out what you are trying to say, because I do respect that there are marvelous fragments inside that head of yours,and kind of hope that if I tug at the entrails that everything will unravel and I'll see where it starts.

So, the idea of a porn cooperative.Lucrative -yes I suppose.There is also something to be said for organizing a "business" and giving the workers within it their own autonomy to participate in profit.The idea of self governance and decriminalization of the sex trades isn't new.Using it to make money isn't new.The two together is somewhat novel.

As far as I know you aren't a sex trade worker(if you are....well).So self governance is out-you are just in it for the money.Ahhh the hip hop hustle.

So you are focusing your not limited intellectual resources(although ability to communicate effectively should NOT be on your campaign platform)on building a porn cooperative in the new hip hop enclave of..Guelph,Ontario?

And this will help the health of the community by integrating the human propensity for vice?

oh I get it..this is your campaign slogan..

I am not anti-organized crime. I'm anti money laundering, Soft Money and Hypocrisy.

This one is sure to get you votes.....

who is notably Italian Canadian and has very little if any credibility

This one is coy-it's the "so"...

and I do so hope that Edward Greenspan or Clayton Ruby or a hot young equivalent is available

This one is just hilarious-no pun intended Luke?

I can literally mobilize this city's unregistered youth and transient crack population and I will literally rock the vote

Satire? Is that the back door out of this one too?

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