Tell a true story thread....

[bONES]

Wow. I can't possibly imagine why you'd throw them away. Do you keep photographs or throw them away too?

impermanence. Like a buddhist mandela.

I have two lame jail stories to share.

The first time was on my way to see THe Grateful Dead at Deer Creek in `92. We were on our way back from the Yukon and decided to cross from Sasakatchewan into N.Dakota...bad idea. The border guys found the twisted piecs of paper from the tip of a joint that i had ripped off and tossed in my backpack 3 months earlier. He opened the paper and out fell the smallest little flake of weed...BUSTED! 3 days in jail. The cop who booked me was in training and asked if my dreads could come out!?!? ummmm....NO!

My second jail experience was in Jamaica. I went down in November 92 with a one week ticket and stayed on for 5 months. COme April immigration caught up with me and tossed my sorry bumbleclot ass in jail. Again a 3 day stint until i could get home to Canada. Jail in Jamaica is rough man!

[TheGoodRev]

Dude, I know a guy who spent months in an Israeli jail, where they throw the Hezbollah guys and suicide bombers who are caught before they detonate themselves. Some rough, rough sh!t. I don't know the guy too well so I've never pressed him for details, I've been told he really doesn't talk about it.

Anyway, I can't really think of a story to tell at the moment. Anybody else?

[guigsy]

sure.. this is my most recent true story, actually..

you're not gonna believe this, but about a half hour ago, for the first time (that i can recall) in my life, i tied my shoes "properly", and not with the "bunny ears". YES!!!! see, i could never do it, i could never wrap my head around what happens after you wrap the lace around, but then today, i was tyin' 'em up, and goin kinda slow, i went for the bunny ear, but something made me stop, and loop that lace around, slowly, and i looked closely and saw something i never did before: where i think it should have went. so, i put 'er through, pulled it tight, and holy sh!t! i tied my fu©king shoes properly!!!!

im almost 25.

damn.

[Del]

I'm still a bunny ear dude, and I turn 30 this year...

[Calamity Jane]

Quigsy, you just made my day :: congratulations, man! Your description of your epiphany is perfect.

proof positive there's hope for each and every one of us.

hope your success isn't short-lived though. Let us know if you can duplicate your efforts tomorrow!

Here's another true travel tale. Ages ago I read a pretty horrible (as in badly-written) paperback about 2 guys who accidently spike a town's water supply with LSD. Some folks have great trips, while others don't, but basically the whole town goes pretty freakin' mad. it always had me wondering what it would be like to be in a town/city where everyone was high on the same substance (and 80 000 at a Dead show, while defintiely a community, certainly isn't a 'regular' city.)

so anyway years later in India I get my wish:

the holy city of Varanasi/Benares has an intense Shiva-worshipping festival (round about March if I can remember). Dave and I made a point of being there because we'd heard that a 'bhang lassi' (read: marajuana milkshake) was part of the celebrations. INDEED! During a parade/procession one night, HUGE DRUMS of the stuff was being generouslsy poured into the outstretched hands of supplicants/on-lookers. The "shakes" were green, thick with bud, sweet and absolutely delicious! A whole city 'drunk' on 'skunk' People partied until the wee hours (rockin' tabla music!) and everyone we bumped into (traveller and local alike)wore the best grins. the celebration went on for a week, but we only witnessed the one night where the lassis were free-flowing. We did discover little shops where to buy them though. yum yum. Wish I could afford to whip one up in the blender right now --although I don't actually have a recipe. Hey, I'm gonna google it!

[Calamity Jane]

holy sh!t -- first google hit:

"Basic 'Bhang Lassi' Yogurt Drink

"Take 'bhang' and open to yourself the treasure house of knowledge. Without drinking it, the tongue is tied in talk. Yogis and saints alike desire it, and Shiva among the gods craves it. In it are the fruits of many pilgrimages and the waters that flow in the Ganges. When the goddess Bhang enters the body, she reveals countless wonders". From 'Divine Passions' by O.M. Lynch

Ingredients

Handful of marijuana. 1 Pint Yogurt. A little Virgin Pressed Olive Oil.

Lightly heat the grass in a pan with a little olive oil. Mix into the Yogurt. Put in fridge for an hour or so. Serve chilled. This is a very good way to make the best use of low strength leaf and 'home grown' as heating with the oil releases the cannabinoids allowing the body to digest more efficiently."

from: http://www.marijuana.reallybites.com/basic_bhang_lassi_yogurt_drink.htm

[Lazlo]

I'm really a chick with some serious hormone problems. If you don't believe me just ask Esau.

[tatterdemalion]

and, of course, works best with full-fat yogurt, not that fat-free crap. i've substituted heavy cream and then diluted with milk/ice cream to make up a full glass of something tasty. unless of course you like a full glass of heavy cream.

[Calamity Jane]

I'm really a chick with some serious hormone problems. If you don't believe me just ask Esau.

be cool with that Lazlo. work on loving yourself.

but this ain't a 12-step program here, so seek yer support elsewhere if ya need it!

[Douglas]

So I was standing in the airport today, peering out the window at the Continental plane that had just landed, and I was wondering if I'd be able to pick out which passenger was Todd as they poured out of the plane.

And then I saw a guy with a walking stick

[ggrtrhhrtgg]

hahahhahahhahahaha---now that's a good story!

[Super Freak]

I was in Tunisia, Africa, on this bus tour to the desert where they filmed Star Wars. The bus was filled with a bunch os tourists from the resort we were staying at(ya, ya), laughing and having a great old time. This friend I was with lets one rip(silent bomb, mind you) and slowly and outward, respectively, the bus was completely silenced. The couple we kind of chummed with wouldn't talk to us for the rest of the tour. My friends ass silenced a bus full of tourists. fu©king charming, indeed.

[Calamity Jane]

I was in Tunisia, Africa, on this bus tour to the desert where they filmed Star Wars. The bus was filled with a bunch os tourists from the resort we were staying at(ya, ya), laughing and having a great old time. This friend I was with lets one rip(silent bomb, mind you) and slowly and outward, respectively, the bus was completely silenced. The couple we kind of chummed with wouldn't talk to us for the rest of the tour. My friends ass silenced a bus full of tourists. fu©king charming, indeed.

why isn't there an icon to show me peeing my pants? FUKCING HILARIOUS!!!! whew! thanks!

[TheGoodRev]

Ok, I don't know if anybody else will find this funny, but it was funny to me at the time. I remembered this story when reading scottieking's thread about the exam essay he was giving his Grade 11 kids.

Anyway, I don't really remember the circumstances, I think I was standing outside a bar in Toronto last year, probably the Horseshoe, having a smoke, when this guy walks by. He looks pretty tough, he's got a mean look on his face, and there's nobody else around but me and him on the dark street. Now I'm not one to pre-judge, but I definately want to keep safe, so just to be sure I grab my keys in my pocket in case I'm forced to deal swiftly with a mugging situation. The guy walks right up to me and says in a vague Mexican accent, "Yo, you got a cigarette my man?" So I say "Yeah" and go for my pack, still a little wary because I know muggings can start out with a seemingly innocent request. I give him a smoke, and he goes, "Yo, respect, ese." As he's walking away, two guys walk by and one of them is wearing the World Youth Day backpack, the one that was given out to everybody who came to Toronto to see the Pope that one time. If you were in Toronto at the time, the backpack was instantly recognizable, EVERYBODY was wearing them. So the ruffian says to the guy with the backpack, "Yo, you went to see the Pope, man?" and the guy says "yeah" to which the guy replies, "Yo, respect, ese."

Anyway I found it hilarious that both my giving him a cigarette, and the other guy seeing the Pope, illicited the same response of "Yo, respect, ese."

[Douglas]

And then I saw a guy with a walking stick

oh wait...maybe it was a cane. Or it could have been a friend. But it definitely wasn't a weapon

[Calamity Jane]

and here's another recipe I found on-line. Delicious-sounding, but a little more time-intensive...

Recipes » Beverage » Bhang Lassi

Ingredients

1/2 ounce cannabis

1 cup water

2 cups warm whole milk

1 pinch garam masala

1 tablespoon coconut milk

1 tablespoon chopped almonds

1/8 teaspoon powdered ginger

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon grenadine

Directions

Bring the water to a boil in teapot. Add the cannabis and brew for 7 to 10 minutes, then strain. Slowly grind the strained cannabis with 2 tablespoons of milk. Repeat this process several times. Strain the milk into a seperate bowl and set aside. Add a little more milk to the strained cannabis and grind it together with the almonds. Repeat this several times. Discard the cannabis and pour the milk, coconut milk, grenadine, and boiled water into one container. Add the ginger, sugar, and garam masala and stir.

Use an old teapot unless you want your house to smell like cannabis every time you want coffee. It will also smell a lot when you are brewing. This is a drink that the novice user should avoid, especially if you dislike the effects from eating cannabis

[Ms.Huxtable]

When I was 18 (my God, that was 10 years ago) I was pretty into skydiving. I could tell a million stories about the parties we used to have (huge bon fires with propane tanks thrown on for the rush, 3 foot long joints, potato guns, nudity and orgies). The people at the drop zone were so full of life and had such senses of adventure. I was really intrigued by everyone and by the sport itself. Everyone lived life as though it was their last day on Earth.

I worked there for three summers and became very attached to everyone. I decided to introduce my best friend Jon to the sport. Jon and I had been very best friends for years. So he came up to the drop zone one sunny weekend, went through his 6 hour ground school training, got suited up and nervously awaited the plane. I was really excited for him and wanted him to have a souvenir of his first jump so I agreed to stay on the ground and video tape his jump. The Cessna plane held 5 jumpers, so in an effort to save tape, I asked him and his Jump Master what order he would be leaving the plane. For beginner jumpers like this flight was, the plane goes around in a circle, lets a jumper off and then circles again before releasing the next jumper.

Anyway, Jon told me he would be first out of the plane and so when the plane reached 4000 feet and slowed its engine down, I pressed the record button. Beautiful exit Jon!!! I followed him down and down…. There were about 40 people watching this particular plane and the feeling at the airport turned morbid. Looking through the eyepiece of the video camera, I heard people whisper to themselves “Oh my God, open…. Oh my God, this is a bounce.”

When I realized that the parachute was not opening I threw the camera to the ground and turned away, begging (or willing) those who were watching to tell me the reserve chute opened. But there was nothing.

Realizing that I had witnessed by best friend’s death I fell to the ground. Every bone left my body and I began to shake. People were running all over the place. Some towards the body, some towards the telephone, some to the hanger. My skydiver family stayed by my side but I was inconsolable.

Suddenly, several hundred feet away someone spotted Jon walking towards the hanger. They yelled out to him “Man are you okay? Go find Sharon, she needs to see you.” Jon tapped me on the shoulder and I looked up, unable to believe my eyes. I was speechless. I just couldn’t stop looking at him. Finally he hugged me and asked what the heck was happening I told him that we all just watched him die. I asked him he was real.

He told me that he had switched places in the plane because he was too nervous to go first. He left the plane in second position.

A bolt of happiness went through me and I felt as though I had experienced a miracle. Until of course I realized that the person who exited first from the plane was a regular at the drop zone, someone who I had grown to care about. It was a horrible loss and one of the most disturbing moments of my life.

From that day on, I have only addressed my friend as one of two things “Johnny Angel” or quite simply “Angel”.

[Calamity Jane]

from the bottom of heart...thanks for this story! (*speechless*)

[Del]

Crazy Sharon... Thanks for sharing that...

[ggrtrhhrtgg]

wow!!! that is amazing, thankyou... I have to say, I have really enjoyed listening to all of your stories... Incredible stuff...

[ggrtrhhrtgg]

ok, I know many of you hate string cheese, and I don't... But whatever, to each their own right??? Well, october of 2003 they played a show at Government.... I actually showed up a little late, but, it was all good.. (once again, the names have been changed to protect the innocent) Well, I ended up going with a friend of mine M. It was her first String Cheese Show, actually her first experience with this scene... That evening, there were about 7 of us... And a friend of mine Z scored me some molly... I took one, and M did not... Immediately the band came back on after break, I started to get into my "groove." For those that know me, they can reinforce this, I am not the most social guy when I am at shows... I kind of travel off to my own little world, and I dance... I don't talk a whole heck of alot, and sometimes when I do, I don't make any sort of logical sense, so haha, sometimes I just concentrate on the music and my thoughts and get a little lost... Well, this night was no exception... After a while, M suggested that we go up to the front, now this is not a normal practice of mine, I usually enjoy the back left area for some reason, kind of a traditional thing... anyhow, if a friend asks me to go for a walk, I usually will... Now one of the things I love about the art scene, is when you go see a show, and it is general admission, you can go wherever the hell you want... Nobody gets upset, they just let you through, and you do the same, smile and say excuse me and thank you, fu©king great sh!t!!! Well, the folks were nice enough to let us up to the front, and the lady immediately behind us, even shared a joint with us...hahahahahaha, fu©king great sh!t!!

well, we are watching and dancing, and kind of talking about what we are seeing.... Well this girl beside me says, "Did you come all the way up to the front to talk?" Well, now there are two ways to take this so of situation, one is to say fu©k you! We are having a conversation about what we are witnessing, its her first show!!! And you can take a second and think about it and consider what she is saying and realize that she is right... We can talk later, watch the band, and get the groove on--you are front centre!!! Furthermore, maybe we are distracting those kind folks that let us come up to the front... Next, her boyfriend comes over and apologizes for her... He tells me they are from Arizona and they have been following the Cheese for almost the whole tour... I shook hands and just said no worries, she is right! And I didn't talk to M for the rest of the set, I watched and danced... When M would talk again, I would point to the stage... I realized something that night, in my crazy fu©king trip that the number two and the peace sign are the same... (ya, no fu©king kidding I know) Well, I realized, that maybe, just maybe the person that thought of using the symbol for two and then making that the peace sign--well maybe this was no fu©king coincidence...

I know it sounds crazy, but, I started laughing, because it kind of made some sort of sense to me... . Overall, that whole night has stuck with me, I mean I go by the name of #2 because I want to continue to think that way, I don't want to think about number one as much, I want to think more about #2, and because of that, I believe I will have less problems....

Peace.

[Ms.Huxtable]

I always thought your name meant poo poo.

These are some great stories by the way. It's so interesting to know that every single person has a story to tell. Seemingly ordinary people with incredible experiences.

Let's keep sharing....

[ggrtrhhrtgg]

so here is my next log... this goes back to the summer of ninety eight, I was travelling around Europe with my best friend Crazy Joe. We did a five week trip in Spain, Paris, and Portugal... However, our trip was somewhat modified by the fact that we ran out of money half way through our trip.. We were in Paris for 5 days, during the 98 world cup, and it was quite costly... We had to figure out what the hell we were going to do for the next 18 days, and we figured that we should head down to Portugal because it is super cheap, and we heard some great things about a place called Lagos... well, we could not afford a train ride from Paris to Madrid, so we had to figure out how we could get down there...(around 300 francs) We decided to get catch a train to the last stop in France--Calais.. and it was about 140 francs.. When we were getting close we pretended that we were asleep, so that we could get across the border without a proper ticket and just play the naive tourist if someone said anything. (I mean what are they going to do?? send us back?) Well, our plan worked and it was only a few dollars from there to Madrid, which saved us a bundle of cash... We made our way to Sevilla, and spent the night in a hostel there, and ate dinner at Cafe Jesus! We then made our way to Lagos... We got a room in the hostel there, and our first night we made our way to a pub called "Stones." We befriended a couple of Auzzies that were made there living as gigolos... Cool dudes, lots of fun, anyhow, they recommended this pension where they were staying... It was a family that rented out four rooms in their house, and the house two doors down which had another half dozen rooms or so... Both were connected by rooftop patios, and both places were filled with backpackers... We befriended numerous people at this place as we stayed their for some 17 days or so... Well, everyone would get together and hangout on the rooftop patio, drinking telling stories, we would make feasts for everyone and then go out on the town... Well, this one particular evening I was wearing my favourite t-shirt at the time--- it was black and across the front it had in print "witness protection program." Well, we went out and got all pissed up at Stones, and after it closed there was talk about trying to score some hash, and I ended up being in charge of finding it... Well, this local guy must of overheard us and he approached me, and said it was 5000 escudos for a few grams... I talked him down to 3500, and he asked me to give him the money. I said, sure, as soon as I see what you are giving me... He then gives me some song and dance about cops being all over the place and that it was not safe for him to give it to me there... He told me to give him the money, and he would go around to corner, down some alley to get it...Well, being the naive idiot I can be, I give him the money trusting his word, and of course, I got burned as he was gone... Well, back in the day, before, I embraced all of your ideals of non-violence, I was a bit of a cowboy... I didn't look for trouble, but, I wouldn't shy away from it either... anyways, I decided I was going to find this dude come hell or high water... Unfortunately, nobody else really gave a sh!t, Crazy Joe was trying to wheel a cute girl from BC so I decided to wander the streets on my own looking for the guy--which = really fu©king stupid!! after twenty minutes or so, just as I was going to give up, and use some common sense, I turn down this street and sure enough, I see him hanging out with three other guys in front of some bar... (stupid cowboy that I am--you know like ol' don't take your guns to town.. that JC song...) anyways, as I get closer I start yelling "hey" and I get there attention, I walk up and say to the guy that ripped me off, "hey, remember me?" He replies "fu©k-off, get out the fu©k out of here." Well, I could have really got myself into some bad sh!t there, seriously stupid move.. however, I say to one of the guys that is caucasian, "see this"-- and I point to my shirt-- "do you know what this means?" He says with a look of what the fu©k-- "what you are fbi or something?" I reply "no, have you ever heard of time?" He says, "you did time?" I say "yes!" Then he tells the dude that ripped me off to give me my money back. and I leave and go hangout with the gang...

I got the shirt at value village!!! ::

[guigsy]

as per the polkaroo's request... and i'll try to cut out as much background info as i can to keep this shorter...

so i was at a wedding for a couple friends of mine, a weekend affair up at a resort in muskoka, and there was a bridesmaid (there's always a bridesmaid!) who i was lookin' to hook up with... she was actually an old college friend who i see maybe once a year if im lucky, because she lives on the opposite side of the country. anyways, throughout the weekend things are going good, and after all the wedding and partying shenanigans, the stage is set... "meet me at the fire and lets go for a hike".. lord knows what time it is at this point, wee wee hours of the morn.... anyways, we set off to our rooms to get changed and such, and as im coming down the steps from the building my room was in i bump into this guy, who i had been hanging out with throughout the weekend as well, really nice guy, a little over the top, but really fun, we talked music a lot and such, and he found out i was a flaming lips fan, so when we crossed paths he grabbed me and drags me to his car "to smoke a joint and play this song for me" - i had to hear it , apparently - it was fight test, i had heard it, but it was ok, we got stoned, and i figured that was it.. until he says, "you have got to hear this!" - what is it? i ask - "just listen" - oh fu©k - so i pack another bowl, and wait for it.......... wait for it...... and then get bombarded by the loudest rush i have ever listened to. and this guy is rockin' out. loving it, absolutely loving it, and i wanna tear my eyes out. not to mention there's a super hot chick waiting for me down at the fire... but im a nice guy, so i sit and listen and wait for the song to be over... the songs ends, but the nightmare doesnt. he now has my pipe, but has yet to take a hit from it. everytime he would go to take a hit, he would stop and go "OH!! LISTEN TO NEIL!!! LISTEN TO PEART!!! OH!!!!" - yes, neil peart is a great drummer, we all know that, but please take a haul off my pipe and give it back so i can go and get some ass! he wouldnt let go of the pipe, he wouldnt smoke anything from it, and whats worse he wouldnt turn off the rush, and wouldnt let me leave, literally grabbing at my shoulder to keep me in the car so he could keep bombarding me with this rubbish. it was awful... was there a live disc they released sometime in the last 18 months or so? rush in rio? i think that might be the one. i have a bad association with that record now. anyways, i really wanted my pipe back, because it would have sucked to have gone into the woods unprepared, by the time i was able to free myself from rush hell and get to the rendezvous point, she was nowhere to be found. obviously. so the next morning at breakfast i found out she waited for about 45 minutes or so for me... and i really cant believe i got held up that long. time flies when you wanna tear your eyes out.

[AdamH]

Alice Cooper called. He says "No more Mr. Nice Guy"