Northern Wish Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 I am going to get fired soon if I don't close this site down and stop laughing uncontrollably:http://www.hedburgh.com/quoter.php Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchoulia Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Thanks...it's as if the gods of procrastination looked down and said, "Julia, you're doing an OK job of just dicking around, but that five minutes of work you've been doing every hour just HAS TO STOP! Here--play with this."Now I can't stop laughing..."I'm at a hotel room and my friend comes over and he says, "Can I use the phone?" I said, "Certainly." He said, "Do I need to dial 9?" "Yeah, especially if it's in the number. You can try 4 and 5 back to back real quick." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Wish Posted October 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 I have no problem not listening to the Temptations, which is weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewRider Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 I had a Mr. Pibb. Mr. Pibb is a replica of Dr. Pepper, but it's the bullshit replica, cuz the dude didn't even get his degree. "Why'd you have to drop out and starting make pop so soon?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basher Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Xylophone is spelled with an "X" -- that's wrong, xylophone... ZZZZZ! X?... I don't fuckin' see it. It should be a "Z" up front. Next time you have to spell xylophone use a "Z". If someone says, "Hey! That's wrong." Say, "No it ain't... If you think that's wrong, then you need to have your head Z-rayed." It's like "X" wasn't given enough to do, so that they had to promise it more: "Ok, you won't start a lot of words. But we will give you a co-starring role in Tic-Tac-Toe. You will get equated with hugs-n-kisses... and you will mark the spot. And you make writing 'Christmas' easier. And incidentally, you will start 'Xylophone'... Are you happy you fuckin' X?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewRider Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 I like to drink red wine. This girl said, “Doesn’t red wine give you a headache?†“Yeah, eventually. But the first and the middle part are amazing. I’m not gonna stop doing something because of what happens at the end.†“Mitch, do you want an apple?†“No, eventually it'll be a core.†Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 You just made my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skelter Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 My favourite comedian ever ... bless you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Huxtable Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 The best 20 minutes I've spent all week!"I wake up in the morning, I make instant oatmeal in the morning then I don't do shit for an hour. Makes me wonder why I need the instant oatmeal. I could make the regular oatmeal and feel productive." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
larry_llama Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Do you think when the guy came up with the idea to invent a bong, a black light popped up over this head? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark tonin Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Thanks for posting this link ... lots of laughs!Peace, Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gr8FuL Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Best thing EVER HAHAHAH thanks for this Sean........Is january yet? Pumped for Nero. Hope you're ready for the party i'm bringin!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmelbatoast Posted October 18, 2007 Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 I was gonna get a candy bar. The button I supposed to push was "HH". So I went to the side, I found the "H" button. I pushed it twice... Fuckin' potato chips came out, man! Cuz they had an "HH" button for Christ's sakes, you need to let me know. I'm not familar with the concept of "HH". I did not learn my AA, BB, CC's... God God, damnit damnit!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tungsten Gruvsten Posted October 18, 2007 Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 I still remember his schtick on letterman about Pepperidge Farm Bread with an inner wrapper...."I don't buy it because I don't need another step between me and toast"fuggin right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGoodRev Posted October 18, 2007 Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 In England, Smokey the Bear is not the forest fire prevention representative. They have Smaquis the Frog. It's just like a bear, but it's a frog. I think it's a better system, I think we should adopt it. Because bears can be mean, but frogs are always cool. Never has there been a frog hopping toward me, and I thought "Man, I'd better play dead. Here comes that frog..." You never say here comes that frog in a nervous manner. It's always optimistic. Hey here comes that frog, all right. Maybe he will settle near me so I can pet him, and stick him in a mayonnaise jar, with a stick and a leaf, to recreate what he's used to. And I'm pretty sure I'd have to punch some holes in the lid, because he's damn sure used to air. Then I can observe him, and he won't be doing much in his 16-ounce world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Evil_Mouse Posted October 19, 2007 Report Share Posted October 19, 2007 My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light a bunch of koala bears scatter. And I don't want 'em to, y'know. I'm like, "Hey, hold on fellas, lemme hold one of you... and feed you a leaf." They're so fucking cute. Why do they have to be so far away from me? We need to ship a few over, and I will apprehend one and hold 'em. Awright. And pet him on the back of his head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted October 19, 2007 Report Share Posted October 19, 2007 I hate dreaming because when you wanna sleep, you wanna sleep. Dreaming is work, y'know, like there I am laying on my comfortable bed in my hotel room. It's beautiful... next thing you know, I have to build a go-cart with my ex-landlord. I wanna dream of me watching myself sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blane Posted October 19, 2007 Report Share Posted October 19, 2007 I went to the store, bought eight apples. The clerk said, "Do you want me to put 'em in a bag?" I said "Oh no, man, I juggle! But I can only juggle eight... if I'm ever here buying nine apples, fuckin' bag em' up!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phorbesie Posted October 19, 2007 Report Share Posted October 19, 2007 I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid-back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut 'em up." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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