Velvet Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 For the last pretty long time, I've had a raccoon living in my kitchen ceiling. Day and night he scratches away and digs. Sometimes I would almost swear he's running power tools up there. There was a big crack in the ceiling when I moved in, and the crack is now decidedly bigger. The raccoon has even dug a hole of his own, about the size of a quarter. Last week I shot some bearspray up there in an attempt to send a message to my furry little housemate. Move out. Well, he didn't, and a series of funny shit happened as a result of that little fiasco, but that's niether here nor there, 'cuz he stuck around. Repeated calls to the (not quick to comprehend Chinese) landlord brought an Asian Abbott & Costello to my kitchen, saying no problem we fix. And the raccoon? "Landlord say no problem. We can eat!" So I called pest control. No problem they say, they just come by and close off the entry point with an exit-only door, and they come back and cover that up in a few days. Sounds great. They come, they can't do anything because of my loose brick problem at the entry point. Which brings us to... Monday morning. Bud and Lou show up with a series of planks, boards, and wooden lace fretting. They start digging into my ceiling and lo and behold, "Mistah Tah, mistah Tah, he here!" They are poking the little guy, trying to get him to leave and he ain't budging. I go outside to watch (no fool there). Costello has his head in my ceiling and is poking at the critter with a big piece of wooden trimming, with Abbott outside on the half roof watching the action. Nothing doing, he ain't leaving, so Abbott goes down to his car and comes back with...string! He gets back on the half roof outside while me and my buddy stand on the ground laughing about how at least he's making it sporting. Then, and on his second try no less, he snares the critters leg! I couldn't believe it. A bunch of pulling and poking later and the raccoon is on the ground, at the end of a long string leash. Abbott calls me up. I go up and he tells me to hold the string. Then he says. "Now is your problem, we fix the ceiling." So I'm holding the little bastard and I give him enough slack to get it off, then he just sits there looking at us. Abbott & Costello left to get supplies, and the bastard started coming up to get in again! We're standing there yelling at the thing, and he's trying to figure out how to get by us to get back into my ceiling. I was left with no choice, I got the bearspray. Here's a helpful hint: once you've used a can of bearspray, they pretty much don't work anymore. Yep, one-time usage only. Unless you can get the bear to sit around and wait while you screw with the can. Luckily, my little bear was not going anywhere, so I managed to get a little spray somewhere near him, and he took off, but not without charging us first. Now I sit in a cold apartment with a disaster area for a kitchen, and though I am now critter-free, I wonder for how long. I have serious misgivings about the effectiveness of any barrier these guys are gonna try and build to stop the problem from coming back. And how's your Monday? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shainhouse Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 Hey Todd! How's it going? My monday has been alright. Just got up after an awful night's sleep and I got 5 hours of class plus a few errands to run. Midterms are this week so I'm stressed beyond belief as well. Still, can't complain too much- take care- Shain CLT (copying from Secondtube) Luke 'Patchen' Montgomery and Erik Glockner of Strangefolk acoustic duo 5.23.02 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Huxtable Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 Oh gawd Velvet. That sounds pretty exciting! Where does the raccoon end up now? I am glad he's still alive and out of your ceiling. I can picture the National Lampoon morning you had. If Dr. Hux was there is would have gone somethig like this: Dr. Hux (impersonating the Croc Hunter): Crikey she's a bute. Ain't ya little shiela? Yes you are a pretty girl. Yes you are. Look at how beautiful she is. You know raccoons are one of the few animals that have flourished as a result of humans developing urban areas. Their big fat bellies are full of our dinner left overs. That makes one happy coon. Doesn't it little girl, doesn't it? Oh she's a happy coon alright. Just beautiful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark tonin Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 Velvet, Thanks for an entertaining read ... what a way to start the week! It reminds me of my buddy Scot Regan's story about racoons in his ceiling ... absolutely hilarious, especially when Scot tells the story ... ask him about it the next time you're in Kitchener ... it's right up there as one of my favourite Scot stories, along with his story about the Chatham crew at Frontier Town and the mannequin head. I'm laughing out loud just thinking of Scot telling that story ... And borrowing my friend Harry's favourite lines when someone has a major curveball thrown their way - "Velvet, it could be worse ... it could have happened to me." Peace, Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradm Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 Seeing as I haven't had to use bearspray more than once today, I guess I'm a bit better off (he said, hopefully). It does sound like you've got the subject matter for a whole new Tummies song (or maybe a suite?), Velvet. Aloha, Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hux Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 "Canadian Bearspray Trilogy" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoD9 Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 So far my Monday is no way as exciting as yours velvet. I did get to call in sick though, which is pretty exciting for me... Did anyone happen to catch the Maintain/project/ferris show on Saturday? I thought your jam on thursday night was awesome dr.huxtable, and dave-o you pump out greeaaat harmonies! Is it 4:20 yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 I am the only one who's surprised to see no mention of Velvet trying to "smoke" the little critter out ?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradm Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 I'm trying to figure out which would be worse: a raccoon confined to a small space, or a raccoon confined to a small space, but with a serious case of the munchies... Aloha, Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 JoD9.... I don't think we've met....I'm in London most of the time...... but making frequent visits to Ottawa for that someone special... (aah cheese please)! I'm sure we'll get to meet soon! Sunnydays! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Huxtable Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Low Roller Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 It took me half an hour of being at work to punch my computer screen this morning. Monday, and already I want to plot revenge. Hey Velvet, if that raccoon comes back, I know a nice cozy office belonging to my boss where we can plant that bugger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backbacon Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 My Monday started off great!! Got a call from Schwa at 8:45 saying that our usual Monday all day group work session at the school was called off because we were all caught up on everything... didn't take much coaxing for Schwa to agree on coming over for a little morning duh session... had GTB cranked, excited about the rare opportunity of a 9am smokey smoke, happy as can be... 5 minutes later, another call from buddy, the group work session is back on. seems one member of the group didn't like the idea of having the day off! All done now so it's back to being happy. quote: Originally posted by mark tonin: ... it's right up there as one of my favourite Scot stories, along with his story about the Chatham crew at Frontier Town and the mannequin head. I'm laughing out loud just thinking of Scot telling that story ... Ha! Mark, did you happen to read the post I made last night: Attn: newest member Tigger! If you didn't, that is a crazy coincidence. tigger's profile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottieking Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 My Monday has been an exercise in patience to say the least. I'm back at school and the kids are both horrified and entralled by the massive neck wound action. It's tough to get back into the grind, but a good raccoon story makes me laugh. Stories about racks or online flirting don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 Oh big brother - I'm sorry! I'll try and be good! Hope your first day back is okay! Thinking of ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark tonin Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 Backbacon, That is absolutely hilarious, and a total coincidence, as I did not read that post. We've got to get Scot posting on this board ... Peace, Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backbacon Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Mark, yeah, that is really funny. Is not 'tigger' Scot? check the email addy in the profile.. and what's he doing posting a link to 'the other' jambands board! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Originally posted by Sunshine quote: And there's nothing wrong with looking at a nice RACK Agreed. Esau13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greasemonkey Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 I woke up to the phone ringing. An airplane decided that it didn't want its engine anymore. So it quit (the engine) with two people unboard and luckly over an airport. The pilot landed the A/C (short for airplane) saftly. Myself and a few other greasemonkeys spent the entire day outside taking the A/C apart and then we put it on a flat-bed to bring it back to Ottawa. So now its 4pm and after pulling a couple of cylinders, I found that the engine is TOAST. I'm tired, and I want to go home. Have a great day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Velvet, it's nice to know that the raccoons have someone to bother when The Mercenary isn't in town. You two should swap stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcane Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 quote:Originally posted by Low Roller: Monday, and already I want to plot revenge. There are times that you *stop* wanting revenge? Good lord, man ... they're making you write *marketing* documentation! Of course, only a few of us here understand exactly how much Low Roller is going to want to kill me for that line... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 My Monday is pretty darn confusing............ When did ya'll referring to the Punk as 'raccoon', and why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 sounds like you're pretty lucky - he musta been half asleep hibernating cuz those little guys can be way vicious! I was sure you were going to say that abbott got his eyes scratched out when he had his head up the ceiling poking at him with a stick! yikes!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hux Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 JoD9, when are we gonna see a little "Nice Rack" action on Thursdays..?? do you guys have a website..?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Huxie, you better watch yourself or Sunshine is going to start smoking again................ While you are at work and your boss is behind you, why dont you type in nice rack via Google, and see what comes up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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