Davey Boy 2.0

much like d_rawk

the whole scenario worked better when he had long hair

I'm getting my nails done that night

look at you now!

sounds like a girl i used to know

This looks like a good time to opst some Latvian jokes Is dead dog in road. Is dead Latvian in road. What difference? Dog have fur keep warm. Also, freedom. And dog try eat poop for pleasure not just survive. So many thing! Three Latvian are brag about sons. "My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want," say first Latvian. "Zo?" second say, "My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!" Third Latvian wait long time, then say, "My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over." "Wow! You are win us," say others. But all are feel sad. Questioning: Why did chicken cross road? Answering: I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers rape her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry. How is get one-arm Latvian out of tree? Is no one-arm Latvian! Why you silly? All go Center for Great Peaceful Physical Reassignment. You no ask. Latvian try to cross river. Has dog, potatoes, and dead son's body. Can only take two across river at one time. If he leave dog with potatoes or corpse, dog eat them. Is very sad. Also is not good boat. What are one potato say other potato? Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato? Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, "Why so long face?" Latvian say, "I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby. " Knock knock Who's there? Latvian. Latvian who? Please open door. Is cold. Why is Latvian throw clock out window? Will be no appointments anymore, only endure til death. Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier. Latvian Nursery rhyme: one potato, one potato, one potato, no more potato.. soldier eat potato and rape daughter...is end. Janis: I hope my son does not die during night. Guntis: What is "hope"? Janis: Yes. I know what you say. Guntis: No. I am serious. What is hope? Janis: In truth, I do not know. How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food. Two Latvians stand on bridge away from all others. First Latvian make sure no one can hear, say "What do you think of the new regime?" Second Latvian look to make sure no one can hear, say "I think about new regime same as you think about new regime." First Latvian say "In that case, I arrest you in the name of the State." Q: Why do Latvian Security Police always travel in threes? A: One can read. One can write. One must keep watch on the two intellectuals. Before you judge a Ukranian, walk a kilometer in his shoes. After that who care? He a kilometer away and you have his shoes. The end. Latvian man hear knock at door. "Who is it?" ask man. "Is Potato Man. Am delivering free potatoes door-to-door" say voice. Man rejoice. "Oh! Such a blessing! This must be wonderful dream!" Latvian open door, man say "Just kidding. Is Secret Police." Latvia president accept Georgia president visit. "Mister Sakashvilli, is you hungry?" ask the Latvia president Sakashvilli responds "Me not have good potato since evil Russia invade our deh-moh-kratics Youro-pian country. Evil Putin regime deprive our children from good potato and is must be stopped. Me think there must be sanctions against Putin Russia." Latvia president say "Oh sorry, me have only potato from Russia aid program to Latvia." Georgia president embarrassed "Can your cameraman cut off that speech then, good friend?" Latvia president laughs and slaps knee "Not be worry, friend, cameraman just for show. We not can afford film for long time now." Ukrainian diplomat address UN: "Evil Russia cut off gas. Ukrainian democratic people can not fry our potato without gas!" To which Russia diplomat say "If you stop stealing gas meant for Europe, we will supply you with enough fried potato to feed everyone." Ukrainian diplomat say "You think democratic Ukraine people idiot? No we not accept!" Ukrainian diplomat slyly wink at Georgian diplomat and smile "Me smart and can see Russia want fool me! No country has enough potato to feed everyone!" Joke: Latvian: Is so cold. All: How cold is? Latvian: Very. Also dark. Joke: A fishmonger says to a bootblack, "Are there any more potato left?" Bootblack says, "Yes, one. But it has gone bad." The fishmonger says, "I am very hungry. I have not eaten for three days. I shall eat it, even if it makes me very ill." And bootblack says, "I did not speak truth. In reality, there is no food left. You shall go hungry yet another day, my friend." Joke: Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have sent Siberia! "More bread for me," man think. But bread have worm. Joke: How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? Only one. Obtain light bulb is hard part. You have potato? Joke: Why six is afraid seven? Because seven have many friend politburo. Joke: Latvian is rub lamp find genii. Genii say, "What is three wishes?" Latvian say, "I wish potato!" Then, POOF! Potato! Latvian so happy! "Oh! Is potato! Is potato!" say Latvian. Genii ask, "What is next wish?" Latvian is say, "I wish you go away so can enjoy potato!" POOF! Too bad. Also, was only lamp. Joke: Boy: But mother, I no are like grandma. Mother: Eat anyway. Is no potato. Joke: Latvian walk into bar and say, "I have not eaten for many days. One full beer will be too much for me. How much just maybe one shot beer?" Bartender say, "This is can do for you. Is two centimes." Latvian say, "Oh. I was hoping it would be less. I do not have that much."

that beef stroganoff was in his hand before it was in his mouth

that kinda matches his shirt

emotion-fill'd

Proof that this tournament is over-hyped!

and jesus wept

did it come with an apron?

personally I prefer Anvil

I think I've found youse a pilot

Very sorry to hear this, my condolences

ROY MacGREGOR rmacgregor@globeandmail.com In some ways, the two junior teams that hate each other most are also most alike. The United States and Canada tied 4-4 at the end of that remarkable New Year's Eve game in the World Junior Hockey Championship, Canadian barely winning in the shootout. The young players are the same age and roughly the same size; their coaches say they have similar speed, similar styles of play. There is even a sponsored scheme here, mercifully one that appears to be falling flat with the crowds, to come up with a jingoistic Canadian chant - Eh! O! Canada-Go! - to match the obnoxious U!-S!-A! of Olympic encounters between the two North American neighbours. But there is a difference. More than half the American junior hockey players are going to college. There are three players from the University of Wisconsin and one each from Boston College, Boston University, Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, St. Cloud State University, University of Denver, University of Michigan, University of Minnesota, University of North Dakota and University of Notre Dame. On the Canadian side, all but one player is playing major junior hockey in Canada - the lone exception being Alex Pietrangelo, who left Canadian junior hockey this fall to play for the St. Louis Blues of the National Hockey League. That makes a clean sweep for Canada - every single player coming out of the junior ranks. While seven of the American youngsters are playing in the Canadian junior leagues, there may in future years not be so many. A new push is under way to persuade American kids to forego Canadian junior hockey - the most traditional route to the NHL - and stick to college hockey, which is increasingly producing players that reach the same goal. The newly appointed head of College Hockey, Inc., is Paul Kelly, most recently the capable head of the one Canadian-based institution that is more "dysfunctional" than Parliament: the NHL Players' Association. Kelly was whizzed last summer by this self-suffocating union and it may well be that the 'PA's loss is college hockey's gain. Kelly's grand plan is endorsed by Emile Therien, the respected past president of the Canada Safety Council, who was himself once a Canadian junior with St. Michael's College School in Toronto but who left for a scholarship to St. Lawrence University. Therien's son, Chris, also went the college route, Providence College, before moving on to a successful NHL career as a defenceman with the Philadelphia Flyers. "The record speaks for itself," says Emile Therien in what some Canadians will take to be sacrilege. "The benefits offered by U.S. college hockey far outstrip what major junior hockey has to offer: the opportunity to get a free education, a much better environment to enhance and develop one's life skills, the opportunity to play and grow in an environment that is less stressful and intimidating, characterized by less travel, fewer games and far more practice and development time." Therien says if it were possible to assess the "happiness quotient" of players from both systems who do not go onto to NHL careers, the college kids will have fared far, far better than those who put their future in a single basket that only rarely reaches its hoped-for destination. He also argues that those who choose the college route have more choices as to where they would go. A drafted Canadian child is essentially "owned" by a business operation years before that child reaches the age of majority, with the businesses allowed to trade and sell the youngster without the child or his parents having any say at all. Many have called this practice "child labour," something Canada officially disdains, and yet those who fight such an archaic system, as the Lindros family did years ago, are considered, well, unpatriotic when it comes to the national game. This may change. One Hockey Canada committee has recommended that no 16-year-olds should be playing junior hockey - Bobby Orr was property of the Boston Bruins at 14 - but the sad reality of the NHL salary cap suggests that teams are increasingly reaching down into the junior ranks for cheaper labour, meaning the junior teams must, in turn, continue to recruit new blood. Speaking of which, Therien also points out that another advantage of the college game is that fighting is truly penalized in college hockey and players must wear complete facial protection. Kelly says in an e-mail that this message for promising young players to look to school first is one College Hockey Inc. plans "to spread across Canada and the U.S. in the coming months." Let us hope it is heard in Canada as well as in the United States. While the evils of Canadian junior hockey - hazing, sexual abuse, gratuitous violence - have often been the focus, there are arguments to be made, as well, for positive experiences with coaches, with billets, with overall experience, even with financial help from junior leagues for those who wish to switch their ambitions to post-secondary schooling. But there needs to be much more emphasis on what lies beyond. The 22 youngsters on Team Canada are fine young men with enormous skills. Yet history has proved that gold medals do not automatically gild a professional career. Some of these young juniors - and hundreds of their current teammates back home - will need something to fall back on. So let us all wish Paul Kelly more fortune in this job than his last. His is a message that needs to be heard on both sides of the border.

Happy New Year, lads

Particle-physics rap The official choir of CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, which features the Large Hadron Collider, will record a song that "celebrates the Higgs boson - a subatomic particle that the LHC is designed to detect," BBC News reports. But this isn't their first foray into song; staff once wrote a rap song. Its lyrics included: "You see particles flying, in jets they spray. But you notice there ain't nothin', goin' the other way. You say: 'My law has just been violated - it don't make sense! There's gotta be another particle to make this balance.' " The song has been praised for its scientific accuracy.

Sounds like the "abundancy" hasn't worn off yet!

brace yourself, Rocky dies at the end

Birthday!?!? In that case... ... I'm doing a little dance in your honour, mon ami

Universal family of civilizations