AdamH Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 It's almost the end of the day so I'm not going to go into great detail here. Suffice to say Hillside was great as ever even though it seemed like the musical lineup was sort of second stage to seeing friends, jamming and eating great food! Highlights though, include (in order of kick-assness) The Golden Dogs - Their music was fantastic, underscored for me the effect of great vocals. I loved everything about them although Zero has a kickin' story to tell about them! The Arcade Fire - Shares equal raves with the above in terms of quality and quantity. The Super Mario Bros.theme (complete with songs from various stages of the game) was pretty cute, as was the whole band. Ba da ba ba baaa, I'm lovin' it. Their workshop with the UNicorns was pretty stellar. The rest is a haze for me. Metric was pretty good, Geoff Berner was apparently quite good (liked him at Bluesfest but missed him this time around), Unicorns were also good even when they were mocking hillside drum jams....the rest is a blur of good stuff but I think I've mentioned the main highlights. It's getting to the point where Hillside becomes more ritual than musical outing, which is good because unlike my scanning of the Xpress every week I'm becoming a little less critical of the lineup they come up with. The workshop aspects are always great and again this year the 12-lane highway (featuring some guelph local artists as well as Geoff Berner) was the best one of the whole lot. Not much else to say really. Nice to meet you Tungsten, if only for like 2 minutes. Zero please fill in the kind people on what happened to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zero Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 Okay I really wanted to write all of this into a review but considering I am not likely to get around to that just yet here's the dirt. So basically the Golden Dogs are being touted as the next big thing much in the same way Metric and BSS were in their time. I didn't know what to make of the hype around them but as soon as they got going I forgot about my fatigue and just started flailing about up front. This digressed to the flipping the bird salute and the gladiator style thumbs down as an IRONIC expression of the joy I was experiencing. Seriously everything about my body language and facial expression would have described pure joy. Anyways it all seems like a dream now (more truly a nightmare) but effectively the lead singer guitarist Dave Azzolini points to me and I've got this sh!t eating grin on my face then he walks over to me and just fu©king hoofs me in the chest. Hard. It felt like the fu©king rock and roll baptism by fire. Of course I presumed it was all part of the act but when the lights came up and he announced to the entire audience (imagine 500 lesbians turning to glare at you simultaneously): 'Girls you see this guy in the Phil Collins shirt up front, don't touch him all weekend he's dirty, he's got diseases'. No fu©king kidding. Tungsten and a few others saw it all go down as did seemingly half of Hillside as I soon found out over the weekend as the story made the rounds. Now in hindsight the whole thing fu©king pisses me right off mainly because the guy full on assaulted me and could have broke my fu©king ribs and moreover I didn't realize he was assaulting me at the time and would have reacted far differently. What a fu©king dick. What did he expect me to do the middle age lesbian watoozie for the whole set? Oh and the write up of their set in the Guelph Mercury says little or nothing about their music and refers only to 'in true rockstar-in-training fashion Dave Azzolini berated a fan- allegedly sporting a Phil Collins t-shirt no less- for his rude reception of their performance on the island stage'. You can tell the writer didn't see it all go down because they likely would have mentioned that he kicked me in the chest or called me a dirty. Oh sweet sweet vengeance do not fail me now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guigsy Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 'in true rockstar-in-training fashion Dave Azzolini berated a fan- allegedly sporting a Phil Collins t-shirt no less Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gentlemonkey Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 wowzers.. you shouldve summoned your super strength and turned the stage upside down!! I think its the song name on the music stand schtick thats got the scene abuzz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paisley Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 anyone anywhere near these guys shows should make an absolute and total flailing ass of themselves (dancing right through breaks between songs, falling into the stage repeatedly)... likely most effective in numbers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zero Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 Here's the version of the story I sent into ChartAttack and will likely send to Exclaim! as well. (What's the bit about the song name on the music stand all about monkey?): Golden Dogs frontman Azzolini attacks fan at Hillside I noticed your brief piece on The Golden Dogs and thought to tell you how their show went at Hillside. First of all the hype was all true- they really are just that good. They quickly reached crusing altitude and just worked the crowd up into a lather from there on. At this point I made my way up to the front of the stage and was throwing down with all of the other teenagers, agrarians, Aquarians and lesbian mamas. Everyone was having a grand old time. In my addled mind the notion of an Andy Kaufmanesque wrestling style villain seemed particularly a propos so I started flipping the band the bird (all the while ecstatic with joy at the discovery of this fine fine group) and giving them the gladiator style thumbs down. Now this apparently didn’t sit too well with Azzolini who somehow couldn’t reconcile the joyousness of my demeanour with a negative hand gesture or two. (How do you define irony again? The difference between the literal and perceived meaning) At this point he points to me and walks towards me and just hoofs me in the chest hard. I am not talking a stage kick I am talking a full on boot kick to the heart (smack dab between the eyes of the Phil Collins gracing my t-shirt- more on this later). This seemed like quite an honour at the time like a baptism by rock and roll fire. At the end of the set it became clearer that the fellow was not joking in the least as the house lights went up and he addressed the audience saying effectively ‘all you ladies you see this guy in the Phil Collins t-shirt, don’t touch him all weekend, he’s dirty, he’s got diseases’. At this point a half hearted boo arose from the crowd as the people who had been dancing their asses off partly due to the band and my exuberance tried to reconcile Dave’s remarks with the fact that I seemed like an alright person. I guess the best response to a Kaufmanesque style wrestling villain is a drop kick to the chest so in that regard it’s fitting. I mean I was flipping the punk rawk bird and he just took it one step further. That said what kind of a moron can’t tell the difference between a Dionysian lark and genuine contempt is beyond me. I mean the guy is a genius musician but not too bright if you ask me. In hindsight I wish that I realized he was actually assaulting me in which case I could have a) fought back charged him with assault c) sued his ass. But that would have taken away from the sheer comedic and pop brilliance of the whole moment. So the moral of the story is if you don’t want people to react with uncontrollable tourettes inspired savagery don’t demolish them with pure melodic grace and guts. That and there is no place for the Cock at a lesbian rock show. Sincerely, Luke Bowden (And for the record I never did get laid after that) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorgnor Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 Killer funny!! Sorry bout the bruises Z... I think the best way to eff with them is to go to every show wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm actually enjoying myself... PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogieknight Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 nothing says revenge like a ten strip in the beer trick :: Long live the Kung(Zero) dance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorgnor Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 Don't you think that's wasting a ten strip? I'd say some K would work better... yucky... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 boo to spiking drinks. nothing says i hate you like a good old fashioned boycott. who was the band again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogieknight Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 watch it buddy or you'll get your drink spiked. disclaimer: I do not condone the use of drugs for the unknowingly spiking of said persons. :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamH Posted July 28, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 I'd agree with your version of events, except that a "gladiator-esque thumbs-down" looks like...well...thumbs down to the guys on stage. In that sense I'm not suprised he lost it on you and would NEVER think they would see the irony in it. However I'd have thought they'd just ignore the guy in the Phil shirt giving people the thumbs down and not resort to physical violence. But then again indie musicians are wierd and drug infested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snarfmaster C Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 i guess the band wasn't informed of your seniority in the scene, eh?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 I am utterly confused............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewRider Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 hahahahahaa... this is better than the Slip/GTB story!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zero Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 The funny thing is it was the first night and I had literally been in the venue for an hour and a half. It dawned on me that this had to be some sort of new record- that I had incensed the lead singer of the next big thing enough in such a short period of time for him to literally kick my ass (or chest as it were). Beyond that it felt like Happy fu©king Birthday to me! My plan is mainly to go to Golden Dogs shows wearing my Phil Collins shirt and stand up front and make little smooch faces at Vazzolini until he snaps. That and calling for Pseudio between every song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamH Posted July 28, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 Ha ha ha, I laughed out loud at that one. Good on ya! Any publicity is good publicity and eventually they'll thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevO Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 ahegghehehe looking forward to seeing where this one goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 Sounds like you got what you deserved Kung. If some dude I don't know gives me the finger, I don't take it as the sign of affection we in the jam scene know it as... Kind of like how I don't call my lawyer "brah", or call my boss a "custy"... For someone who questions these antics so often, I have trouble understanding why you would try to use them at a non-jam show... Seems to me like you were just trying to draw attention to yourself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zero Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 Whatever little crack buddy. Some element of truth to that I was being a dink mainly I was off my rocker with how badass the music was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gentlemonkey Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 (What's the bit about the song name on the music stand all about monkey I saw them at Zaphods a few weeks ago with the John Henrys and the keyboard player was putting the songtitles (written on cardboard) on a music stand at the front of the stage. I thought it was funny. But I liked the band. definitley didnt feel like a hyped night, there were like 20 people there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tickler Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 hahahahahaa... this is better than the Slip/GTB story!!! Tell me about this story? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zero Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 No don't. Seriously though was I cruisin' for a bruisin' hell yeah. Did they kick ass hell yeah. Did they kick my ass hell yeah. You know in the end I wasn't even being vocal, it's not like I was screaming you suck although I was expressing it through mime if you like. In the end who fu©king cares if I flipped them the bird or whatever it's rock and roll for christ's sake. How are you supposed to act, nod intently verging on twitching and shuffling back and forth on your spot. This limp dick sh!t drives me nuts. It's not like it's not embarassing for me to get called out on this sh!t but at the same point someone has to culture jam and it's not like I don't know what I'm talking about or trying to accomplish even if it's bastardly and subversive. Be glad I'm on your team my little bitches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gentlemonkey Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 'culture jam' - i like that!! You play the instrument of consequence and keep the data to yourself- well, you share with us.. I might just get up here and be the object of an 'office jam'.. however inappropriate, research must be conducted. Time to do a mega-spin with these two huge glasses of water. go get em zero! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaimoe Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 Zero, next time you see them you should flip them the bird wearing a Good Charlotte t-shirt and kick his ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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