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to all the Jews: SHANA TOVA!


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Just about to leave Hamilton to enjoy a fine holiday meal with the ganseh mishpocha, before heading off to shul tomorrow where I've been comissioned to sound the Shofar at one of the smaller downstairs services. A freilecheh chag to all the Yiddin, and remember, b'Rosh Hashanah yicateivun, u'b'Yom Tzom Kippur yechatemun.

p.s. gesindteh hei

p.p.s. I find the most common pronounciation to be "bah-gel", which also annoys me to some degree, but not as much as the fact that it is strictly Jewish guilt that is making me leave Hamilton in the middle of a busy week to partake in some ol-time religion. Feh.

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My Jewish mother and agnostic/existential father are in Nepal this fall. My mom sent an email saying that she has a feeling that Rosh Hashanah is happening some time soon and is wishing us a happy new year. I think her guilt is there but it is well diluted with the prevailing Buddhism in Katmandu.

We have never been a real Shul going family, but we all know how to pronounce Bagel allong with all the other important Yiddish words and phrazes encountered in secular western society.

Have a sweet New Year to all. I continue to hope for Peace, Safety, Equality and Unity for all.

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Speaking of Jews: You guys mind if I do a shameless plug?

Thanks.

Tuesday, November 2nd: Beyond the Pale with SoCalled. Pepper Jack's

www.beyondthepale.net

www.socalledmusic.com

www.pepperjackcafe.com

Happy New Year!

hmmm bagels..

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Shana Tova to everyone.

Hope your new year is sweet.

For those who have been searching for a greater understanding of Jewish

holidays major and minor, I think you will find the explanation below most

enlightening...

Jewish Holidays

As a general principle, Jewish holidays are divided between days on which

you must starve and days on which you must overeat. Many Jews observe no

fewer than 16 fasts throughout the Jewish year, based on the time-honored

principle that even if you are sure that you are ritually purified, you

definitely aren't. Though there are many feasts and fasts, there are no

holidays requiring light snacking.

Note: Unlike Christians, who simply attend church on special days (eg.

Easter, Christmas, etc.), on Jewish holidays most Jews take the whole da= y

off. This is because Jews, for historical and personal reasons, are more

stressed out.

The Diet Guide to the Jewish Holidays:

Rosh Hashanah -- Feast

Tzom Gedalia -- Fast

Yom Kippur -- More fasting

Sukkot -- Feast

Hashanah Rabbah -- More feasting

Simchat Torah -- Keep feasting

Month of Heshvan -- No feasts or fasts for a whole month. Get a grip on

yourself.

Hanukkah -- Eat potato pancakes

Tenth of Tevet -- Do not eat potato pancakes

Tu B'Shevat -- Feast

Fast of Esther -- Fast

Purim -- Eat pastry

Passover -- Do not eat pastry

Shavuot -- Dairy feast (cheesecake, blintzes etc.)

17th of Tammuz -- Fast (definitely no cheesecake or blintzes)

Tish B'Av -- Very strict fast (don't even think about cheesecake or

blintzes)

Month of Elul -- End of cycle. Enroll in Center for Eating Disorders before

High Holidays arrive again

You know you grew up Jewish when:

You've had at least one female relative who drew eyebrows on her face that

were always asymmetrical.

You spent your entire childhood thinking that everyone calls roast beef

"brisket".

You've experienced the phenomena of 50 people fitting into a 10 foot wide

dining room hitting each other with plastic plates trying to get to a deli

tray.

You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.

You were surprised to find out that wine doesn't always taste like year-old

cranberry sauce.

You can look at gefilte fish and not turn green.

You can understand Yiddish but you can't speak it.

You know how to pronounce numerous Yiddish words and use them correctly in

context, yet you don't exactly know what they mean. Kenahurra.

You have at least one ancestor who is related to your spouse's ancestor.

You grew up thinking it's normal for someone to shout "Are you okay? Are

you okay?" through the bathroom door if you're in there for longer than 3

minutes.

You thought that speaking loud was normal.

L'Shana Tova !!!

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About the bagel thing...

I've always said "bay-gull," as have all my Jewish relatives.

I don't think I've ever even HEARD anyone call it a "bah-gull."

Every pronunciation key has the long a "bay-gull" pronunciation. However the gull is phonetically spelled gel, withe the e being a schwa. However, I do not have a phonetic keyboard, nor can I find the proper ASCII codes...

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It's not really a controversy. Rosh Hashanah is the 1st day of Tishrei, beginning the year 5766.

What TheGoodRev is suggesting is much more academic. Tishrei is the first month of the Jewish Calendar. The only question is whether that was always the case or not.

Sorry, I should clarify ... It's actually the 1st and 2nd days of Tishrei.

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