QOTW: What did your mother tell you?

[voodoolady]

"Get a haircut and get a real job" was said many times by my old man...and I didn't really have long hair....then he told Asparagus that he'd "cut your hair with the lawnmower!"

[voodoolady]

that was rubberdinghy's post! oops!

[elemeno]

my grandpa always said

ass over tea kettles

or arse over tea kettles if grandma was around

[ggrtrhhrtgg]

MY DAD---"SHIT HOUSE LUCK"

---"WHEN IS THE TIRE GOING TO HIT THE ROAD?"

OR WHEN i WAS YOUNG, AND HE WOULD FART, AND BLAME IT ON HIS IMAGINARY BUDDY --ALFRED.

i WONDER WHY ALFRED?? AS IN ALFRED HITCHCOCK?? OR ALFRED THE HOCKEY PLAYER?? HAVE TO ASK...

MY MOM---"YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE CHILDREN"

---"YOUR BIG MOUTH IS GOING TO GET YOU IN TROUBLE ONE OF THESE DAYS, MARCUS"

[tribalstar]

stop picking your nose or your head will cave in....

[Calamity Jane]

"If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all....."

not bad advice, actually. Saves later suck-ass apologies when people finally realize they've spoken out of turn or from a place of anger/jealousy/fear/frustration, etc etc.

[bONES]

my mom said there'd be days like this.

there'd be days like this, my mom said.

really?

nobody told me there'd be days like these

[Ms.Huxtable]

"The songs are nice, but there's too many notes."

my mom on the grateful dead.

HAhaha, that's funny Tim, when my Mom came to see her first Dr. Huxtable show (a band I used to be in) she said "I remember when a song had a beginning, a middle and an end."

[timouse]

"The songs are nice' date=' but there's too many notes."

my mom on the grateful dead.

[/quote']

HAhaha, that's funny Tim, when my Mom came to see her first Dr. Huxtable show (a band I used to be in) she said "I remember when a song had a beginning, a middle and an end."

i think that she tried to listen to Dead tapes that i gave her, but it was "too confusing." she thought the same thing after hearing The Rectangular Family (precusrsor to Harvard Mouse) jam.

"why don't you boys play some nice songs??"

[Velvet]

My mom always used to say she hoped I had kids just like me - she called it a curse.

Just to be safe I've remained childless.

[headymamamyrna]

My mom always used to say she hoped I had kids just like me - she called it a curse.

Just to be safe I've remained childless.

Now I know why some men are afraid to have kids.

They just might turn out like them.

They always say what goes aroud comes around!

[livingstoned]

My mom among many things would say:

"it's good for you, it'll put hair on your chest"

Only problem with that was - I'm a girl.

[Birdy]

lol

my mom would eat raw ground beef when making hamburgers.. eewww.. it grossed me out so much.

my dad, at the top of his lungs..

"NEVER, EVER, EVER QUIT!!"

[phorbesie]

"If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all....."

i was about to post that too CJ. my mom always said that. yeah maybe that's why i never complain...and bottle my feelings up inside until i implode and self-destruct. wonderful!

[CyberHippie]

"that's like closing the barn doors after the cows have gotten away..."

"there's a difference between scratching your ass and tearing the skin off..."

this one was the best:

"you no good pusillanimous mendicant"

Pretty sure my dad never really knew what that meant, but it wasn't good!

[SevenSeasJim]

Mom - There are other Fish in the sea.

Dad - Don't shit your pants, other people don't like that.

[Tooly]

im quite scared to have kids now, my mom used to alllways wish that on me, when i have kids theyre as rotten as i was

my dad was one of the old school giver gang i guess, used toalways say git-er done!

[CyberHippie]

Some more of my dad's greatest hits:

when someone does something stupid - "way ta go ace"

when you do something stupid - "BALLS!"

[onthejourney]

Mom - also "if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all"

"eat your food. There are lots of starving children in the world who would love to eat what is on your plate"

"treat people the way you want to be treated"

"that's chicken...don't you like chicken?" said about fish mostly.

Dad - "I see said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw"

[TomFoolery]

Busier than a one-legged man at an arse-kicking contest.

Better than a kick in the head with a frozen muckaluck.

Lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut.

Sharp as a marble.

These are a few I've kept for my own use...

[Dr. J]

Whenever he was getting ready to head out to the local watering hole (which he did quite often) my dad would always say, "Just goin' out to blow the stink off." Us kids would laugh.....mother failed to see humour in it.

[MamaBurnsy]

Mom- always make sure you are wearing clean underwear, in case you are ever in an accident.

Dad- get your ass in gear

- you are so slow you are almost in reverse

- you twit

[Birdy]

Mom- always make sure you are wearing clean underwear, in case you are ever in an accident.

mom.. are you wearing underwear? it doesn't look like it!!

[Lazlo]

"eat your food. There are lots of starving children in the world who would love to eat what is on your plate"

My response to this one was "Bull shit, they've suffered enough". I usually ended up wearing my dinner but my mother's ensuing migraine made it all worth while.

[\/\/illy]

my grandma used to always say "you better mind your ps and qs or else i'll pin your ears back"

I haven't read through all these posts yet so maybe someone already said this but, apparently, that expression originated in pubs. The bartender would use it when things started getting out of hand. He'd tell everyone to mind their own P's (Pints) and Q's (Quarts). I have no idea how true it is but it sounds plausable.