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NFL 2008-2009 Season


Thorgnor

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Tony Womo Out Three To Four Weeks With Bwoken Widdle Fingey

DAWWAS—Cowboys medical personnel confirm that quawterback Tony Womo injured his thwowing hand in last week's 30-24 loss to the Arizona Cardinals and is expected to miss the next month after suffewing a sevewy bwoken wight pinkie-winkie.

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Team doctors originally believed Womo's poor, poor bwoken fingey was merewy spwained, despite the quarterback insisting that his pinkie felt really, really, really ouchie after being hit by wots and wots of big mean mans during the first play of overtime.

The Cowboys are denying rumors that Womo will require weconstwuctive pinkie surgewy, insisting that it is only a bad owie and that Womo will not be placed on injuwed weserve.

"Tony has been very, very bwave through all this and barely cried at all when he heard his widdle fingey was in fact bwoken," coach Wade Phillips said Monday, explaining that Womo was "westing comfiwy" and watching cartoons at home and had thus far managed to keep his pinkie out of his mouth. "I'd say he's week to week, but it's up to the team medics to say when he's completely all-better-now."

The Cowboys originally sensed something was wrong when Womo threw three straight incomplete passes to begin the overtime after being sacked three times and knocked down 19 times during regulation by meanie-bullies who hate him. Their suspicions were confirmed when Womo blubbered to them on the sidelines while holding up his hurted fingey.

Womo was immediately given an orange-flavored St. Joseph aspirin and a wowwypop while a SpongeBob SquarePants Band-Aid was applied to the pinkie. When this proved inadequate, Cowboys head pediatrician Daniel "Doctor Danny" Cooper inspected Womo's pinkie while trainers distracted Womo by making a spoon into an airplane and "flying" chocolate ice cream into the quarterback's mouth.

"This was more than just the normal boo-boo," Cooper told reporters. "Tony has played through boo-boos before, like any team weader and big gwown-up boy has to. But when I saw the quivering chin, the big wet eyes, and the way he was hopping from foot to foot while holding up his widdle bitty widdy fingey, I knew this one was bad."

The NFL said no fine would be given on the hit, as it seemed to be an honest accident and no flag for roughhousing the passer was thrown on the play. It is not known whether Womo will stomp his widdle foot and complain louder to the NFL regarding the decision.

Phillips confirmed that 40-year-old backup quarterback Brad Johnson will start as long as Womo's pinkie is still an ouchie pinkie.

"It's unfortunate for the poor tyke to have to go through something like this," said Johnson, who hasn't started an NFL game since 2006. "But you know, when they're little quarterbacks they sometimes take big spills. This will just make Tony-wony tougher when he grows up. I hope."

In other Cowboys news, Adam "Pacman" Jones is still grounded for the rest of his life, or at least until he learns to stop back-sassing, and receiver Terrell Owens is listed as "probable" for Sunday's game despite suffering a chronic case of turf piggy

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I was sure the Raiders threw that game away the moment they called the timeout and the Jets kicker hit the upright. Sure enough, he nailed it the second try but then OT comes around and the Polish Thunder absolutely drills his 57 yarder. Did anyone notice how far that travelled past the goal posts? Holy moly. He might have hit that from close to 70 yards!

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I was sure the Raiders threw that game away the moment they called the timeout and the Jets kicker hit the upright. Sure enough, he nailed it the second try but then OT comes around and the Polish Thunder absolutely drills his 57 yarder. Did anyone notice how far that travelled past the goal posts? Holy moly. He might have hit that from close to 70 yards!

He has hit a few like that in his career. He certainly has the leg to kick it from 70 yds.

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I went to my first Bills' game yesterday, and what a game!!! I was about 20 rows from Evans amazing 1 handed catch. Such a great atmosphere. Football is great on tv, but it is even better live.

I am a Dolphins fan and hate the Bills but I have been to a bunch of games in Buffalo since they are close to home. I always have a great time. From the tailgate party to the game it's a great atmosphere.

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and the Polish Thunder absolutely drills his 57 yarder. Did anyone notice how far that travelled past the goal posts? Holy moly. He might have hit that from close to 70 yards!

And absolutely straight down the middle! Probably the greatest kick I've ever seen.

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I am a Dolphins fan and hate the Bills but I have been to a bunch of games in Buffalo since they are close to home. I always have a great time. From the tailgate party to the game it's a great atmosphere.

This is what concerns me about them moving to Toronto. The atmosphere will stink.

I thought you'd be concerned about the Fins fans?!?!?!?!?!?

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I was sitting back at half time of last night's game with a potential 60 buck pro-line ticket (nothing huge, but still) needing the Titans to win by 4 and I can't describe how much hate on I had for Manning. Thankfully they later folded twice on 4th down conversions and the Titans eventually crushed them.

It's mind boggling how much I despise both Mannings, but the hatred really does add to my enjoyment of the game.

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Just in case you havent heard in the past 5 years, the Raiders suck.

Raiders safety Gibril Wilson played for the Super Bowl champion New York Giants last season, so it makes sense that he knows what a winner looks like.

That's what makes his first season in Oakland all the more confusing.

"During the week (in practice) we look like we're a Super Bowl team," Wilson said. "And we come out there and we're damn near the laughingstock of the league, and it's ridiculous. I've never been in a situation where it's been like this, and I don't know what it is."

Wilson and the Raiders are still searching for answers after the Atlanta Falcons scored on their first four possessions en route to a 24-0 victory at the Coliseum on Sunday that will go down in Raiders history as one of their worst defeats.

How bad was it? The Raiders managed three first downs - a franchise record for futility.

When the team finally managed to get a first down on a run by Justin Fargas - in the third quarter - those fans who hadn't bolted at halftime offered up sarcastic applause.

The Raiders became the first team since Cleveland in 2000 not to gain a first down passing. Of the three first downs they did get, two were on broken-play scrambles by JaMarcus Russell.

Oakland had minus-two yards of offense in the first half compared to 309 yards for the Falcons.

The Raiders gained 77 yards on offense, the fewest in the NFL since Cleveland managed 26 yards against Buffalo on Dec. 12, 2004. It's also lowest in franchise history since the Raiders amassed 56 yards against San Diego in 1961 - when Al Davis was an assistant coach for the Chargers.

And it's the lowest number of yards for the team since gaining 93 against San Diego, Dec. 7, 1997.

The defense allowed 30 first downs while giving up 453 yards, including 252 rushing yards.

Get the picture?

"I thought our entire football team was not very good in terms of competing and execution," said interim head coach Tom Cable. "No rhythm, really, no balance in any way on either side of the football."

The Raiders believed they had a chance of winning coming off what many players called their best week of practice all season.

But the Raiders looked unprepared from the start. Former Falcon DeAngelo Hall, who was coming off arguably his best game as a Raider a week ago, was beaten by Atlanta receiver Michael Jenkins for a 37-yard touchdown on the opening drive.

In fact, the Falcons (5-3) scored on their first four drives before making like a high school team not trying to run up the score.

Raiders cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha wondered how the defense, knowing the team is just trying to run out the clock, still couldn't stop the run.

"Why should they be able to run the ball so well like they do every single week?" Asomugha said. "That stuff is inexcusable and it's unconscionable because it should never happen. They're going to run the football. You know what I'm saying?"

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The Raiders believed they had a chance of winning coming off what many players called their best week of practice all season.

They were showing clips of Raiders practice for the week. They were quite excited about practicing their TD dances. Maybe they should have practiced their 1st downs :)

What do you think Booche? Are they doomed until Al departs?

On a brighter note... how about those Fins. 4 -4 and in the playoff hunt... Things can change fast in the NFL.

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