A Newfie moves to Ontario and gets a job in construction. His boss sends him to the lumber store for forty two by fours. The store employee asks him how long he needs his two by fours. The Newfie replies "Quite a while, we're building a house". Little Johnny is going on a fishing trip with Grandpa. They get up early, pack the boat with supplies and head out in to the lake. They cast their lines in the water to wait for bites. After a while Grandpa opens the cooler, grabs a beer and cracks it open. Little Johnny says "Grandpa, can I have some of your beer?" Grandpa replies "Well, Johnny, can your dick touch your ass?" Little Johnny answers no. Grandpa says "Well, then you're too young for beer." A little while later after boredom sets in Grandpa starts reading a Playboy and Johnny asks to look at it too. Grandpa says again "Well Johnny, can your dickie touch your ass?" Again Johnny replies no and Grandpa says he is too young. An hour or so later hunger is setting in so Johnny reaches in to his pocket and pulls out a bag of cookies. Grandpa says "Hey Johnny, share some of those cookies with me" Johnny says "Well, Grandpa, can your dickie touch your ass?" Grandpa says yes. Johnny replies "Good, then go fuck yourself, Grandma made these cookies for me!"